TTC after miscarriage?

[Lilalylola]

I do that too! It is really torturing ourselves.. I should by now be having a 10 year old and be 6+6 weeks or 12+1.
Although the one in 2006 was not a miscarriage, but that's a completely different story.
How do you all feel about about being pregnant again? As I feel really scared that I will get so stressed and worried that it will cause a miscarriage again! But apparently the doctor said worrying or stress does not cause miscarriages.

 

[Emily0505]

I'm so desperate to be pregnant again. It's all consuming and all I can think about but I'm terrified of losing another.

Both my miscarriages were missed, so I feel as though I can't trust my body.

I'll be wandering around with pregnancy symptoms and no pains or bleeding, but it won't reassure me that everything is ok because that's what happened the last two times!! Feeling very pregnant but baby had stopped growing

I won't believe everything is ok until we have a scan and see a heartbeat.

Even then, I think I'll still start to worry again after and won't be able to relax until I'm much further on in the pregnancy.

XX

 

[Emily0505]

My doctor has said that stress doesn't cause miscarriage but then I've heard that stress is bad in pregnancy too but I'm not sure of impact it can have.

I know I was stressing about being stressed last time though, even with the doctor's reassurance!

XX

 

[Lilalylola]

That must be even more terrifying! Feeling all pregnant as most women would normally rely on that, and then to find out that its not OK I understand that that must cause even more stress! I seem to always look at pregnancy tests lines as with my son I had no symptoms at all! With daughter a bit of sickness now and again but nothing mayor.
With every miscarriage my tests just did not reach being as dark as the control line, and clearblue stayed at 1-2. So if that happenends again I know enough.

How do all your OH's react on your miscarriages? Mine does not seem to talk about it, so not sure what he thinks and feels even to the point were I sometimes wonder if he cares at all! But then I feel guilty for thinking that because I know he is sad but does not show emotion alot .

Just phoned the doctor and got my blood results back,
Negative-no activity she said.

 

[MrsS15]

I feel the same Emily, I'm totally consumed by the feeling of wanting NEEDING to be pregnant. I sometimes wonder if it's healthy and if we should take a break ttc for a while? But I know that would equally break my heart I'll be a wreck next time I'm (hopefully) pregnant. Its terrible but I think all the time, what if I finally get pregnant again and I lose that one too? I don't think I could go back to the emotional turmoil of TTC again. I know that makes me sound terrible! I keep saying to hubby if I could just have one more baby I'd be happy, I promise I'd never put myself through this again!

Lila, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're okay My hubby never talks about it either, I read his text to his mum once and it said 'I'm trying to be strong for her but I really just want to cry too' It broke my heart so much! xx

 

[Emily0505]

My tests got really dark- test line darker than the control line. This was even after baby stopped growing at six weeks and I was still testing at seven weeks plus (as you do) Needless to say, I'm not all that reassured by test progression now- not that it stops me from testing constantly in the early days!!

My hubby struggled a lot more with the second mc. He just absolutely didn't see it coming, it never occurred to him that it could happen again, whereas I had remained very guarded after our first loss. He was quite upset this time and it certainly hit him a lot harder. His nan had passed away a week before too which didn't help He doesn't talk about it all that much though but he's been so good to me with all of it.

I'm not sure if my obsession is at all healthy! My erpc was only 16 days ago and yet I'm already wanting to opk and ttc again. I said to hubby we'll ntnp for a bit but I really want to get back to it properly already. I know that when I do get pregnant again, it won't be met with the excitement that I had before. It'll be yay, oh Fuck! What if it goes wrong? What if I lose it again? What if it's another mmc? Every twinge or lack of will worry me. Every symptom or lack of will worry me. I won't relax until I'm well into the second trimester I don't think.

XX

 

[Emily0505]

How are we all doing in here?

My opks arrived today, so naturally I had to pee on one.

It actually had a fairly nice line going on, which was a pleasant surprise!

We have been dtd every 2-3 days anyway, so we should hopefully be covered.

Hope everyone is ok?

XX

 

[MelH999]

Hi ladies!

I mirror the OH not really talking about it much, and yes I've actually thought "do you even care".

He's of course said he is saddened by what's happened, and handles it like most guys. I've had to say to myself, he's not a woman, he's not going to act like my best friend , or my mum because he's a man.

Infact I think his way to console me and make things better is to have sex with me! We are up on our usual activity! That is when I'm not damn spotting. When will it stop? Started again today, it started last Monday too and lasted 3 days. Got slight cramps but can't be a period as I've not had a 20dayngapnof no bleeding.

Yes as mentioned in above post, I make myself sad by looking in the September mums group, not done it tho for a week, so hopefully I'm cured!

I thought I was moving on and having sex, and been positive, then today I passed the way/route my friend drive me to hospital when I was bleeding heavy, and I got real sad. Those feeling come and go. I just want my rainbow, then I'm sure I will be fully ok.

I went back on Facebook, only to see a mc meme, which was sweet, but hurt so I deactivated my acc again, not quite as ok I I'd hope. Which is so frustrating because I'm usually a strong person, not heartless, just few I can usually deal with things.

I've got no idea what's going on with my cycle! So I think maybe just have as much sex as we feel until a pattern develops.

Am I right in thinking there is no point doing the opk test if I've not had a real period as such?

Xx

 

[MrsS15]

Af appeared today after having a lot of symptoms this month. Just felt so down but I knew it was coming. I was then so down I sat and worked out I'd be 20 weeks now. Why do I do that? I really need to stop doing it to myself. I punish myself when I'm already down!

I'm just so desperate to have a wee baby in my tummy and heal my heart

 

[MelH999]

Sorry you feel so bad. Don't punish yourself, I know easier said than done. I promised I'm not going to work out the weeks, I know I'd be 12 by valentines and I'm not going to go past that already worked out week.... I will be sad around my due date, I'm sure. But fingers crossed I have a really big tummy by then!

Maybe look as af as a positive your back in the game of ttc. I just want 1 normal period so I can draw a line, and step forward into the new chapter of ttc. At the moment I'm in no mans spotting land!

I could have shares in Always pant liners!

X

 

[Emily0505]

I've not had a period since my erpc but I've started ov tests.

They would normally date a pregnancy from your last period and if you are lucky enough to catch right away, ie before your first period arrives, if you've used opks at least you'd have an idea of when you ovulated to help with dating the pregnancy.

I'm hoping I'll fall pregnant again quickly. We've been dtd every 2-3 days since my bleeding stopped and my pregnancy tests were negative, so hopefully we're covered if I have already ovulated.

I'm still having very up and down days. Hubby is a bit worried about me bless him. I've told him in not ok but that's ok. We've been through a lot, loosing two babies in four months, is bound to take some time.

XX

 

[MissCharli]

Hi all, I had an MC 6 days ago (though I only had my epu scan today to confirm). Feeling pretty awful but not sure how long I should wait before dtd/ttc.

Mostly I'm just scared that it will happen again

 

[MelH999]

Sorry for your loss missCharli. It's not a nice place to be, and I think trying again is down to when you feel ready. For me it was as soon as my bleeding stopped. I was like yeah let's jump back on the horse! But then a week after I started spitting and felt down again, I guess what I mean is... It's your call but it's a bumpy ride, at least until my cycle sorts it's self out. But then I think it's only 3 weeks and it can take 4/6 weeks or longer so patience is something us ladies ttc need to embrace. Which is near impossible because we want the most precious thing xxx


I hope you heal quickly, both emotionally and physically. It's the inside I'm struggling with. But may we all have a rainbow soon to make us happy & complete xx

 

[Emily0505]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry for your loss.

You are advised not to dtd until all bleeding has stopped completely, to avoid risk of infection.

It is advised to have at least one period before ttc again as this helps to date future pregnancies. Hubby and I are not waiting though. I've not had a period since my erpc although I am using opks which will help with dating a pregnancy if I'm lucky enough to catch right away (unless of course I ovulated before my opks arrived)

It is so frightening to think that it might happen again. Unfortunately my last two pregnancies both ended in missed miscarriage but everyone has just said it's bad luck and no reason that it will happen again.

Be kind to yourself hun. Mc is awful and from my experience the mental side of it is much harder to get over than the physical.

XX

 

[MissCharli]

Thanks for your messages. Yeah I feel back to normal now physically, which I think is kinda worse cos mentally it's not matching up. I feel like I should be okay and I'm not. The bleeding has stopped, though apparently my HCG was still 196 yesterday when they took it. I'm not sure how long that takes to go back down to 0?

I'm just trying to see the positive side, at least everything works with the OH and me. He wants to try again asap, whereas before I think he was not too bothered if it happened or not. I just feel really raw and emotional atm.

Also Emily0505 I am also in Devon too, hi

 

[Emily0505]

So looks like my af is on the way.

Could even be CD1 today.

My erpc was 25/26 days ago, which is what my cycles were before so I'm feeling hopeful that things won't be all messed up from my mc.

So, we'll get witchy's visit over and done with and then it's all systems go to make our third time lucky rainbow baby.

How is everyone doing?

XX

 

[Lilalylola]

I am still waiting for my ovulation, CD 18 today, so it is late. I wonder if I will even ovulate this month.
Opk has gone dark then light now darkish again.
If need be I'll just wait for AF and see how it goes next month.

 

[MelH999]

Hopefully I'm coming to the end of my first period since MMC. If I start bleeding again in 4 days I think I might scream, then visit my doc for advice. But hopefully I will be good to go, and a week to my fertile window so I will keep my eyes out for ewcm and try opk. I have 10 so what day should I try start using?

X

 

[Emily0505]

How long are your cycles usually?

I normally opk from around CD8, but I have short cycles and can sometimes get a positive opk on CD10 so I start early so I don't miss it!!

XX

 

[MelH999]

Usually 25 day cycle average. So will try in a few days- from 8 maybe. Not sure I can hold my wee from 2:30-5/6! I had to nip in school after collecting my little one today at 3:30, as of had a Costa with my friend at 2pm! Could wait the 15 min until drive home!