Trying to plan "bringing baby home"....

[shadow]

Now that i'm in the final 4 weeks of my pregnancy i'm starting to try and plan/think about what it is going to be like once I've had baby, and bringing him home. Apart from feeling absolutelt terrified (I so don't think I'm ready to be a mam!) there are a few practicalities that I want to sound out.

Does anyone else on here have pets? (I'm assuming that you do, what would be the chances of no-one onhere having a pet!) The reason i ask, is that me and OH have two dogs- whom i love to bits. I've been looking up online ahout how to introduce the new baby into the household and to my dogs, and wanted to see what anyone else thinks of the advice, or what anyone else has already done.

The info i have found suggests first of all introducing them to smells and sounds of a baby before they are born, e.g playing a CD of a crying baby to the dogs, putting baby lotion/talc on your hands then playing with the dogs so they get used to the smells and sounds. Once baby is born they suggest having an item of clothing the baby has worn, and giving that to the dogs to sniff, before introducing the actual baby.

My plan was as follows; once baby is born, and we come home, I was going to go in and see the dogs first, without the baby, so they can say hello to me, and get rid of their excitment, as it may well have been a few days since they've seen me (depending on how long i'm in hosp). Then I was going to come into the living room with baby, and let the dogs in one at a time to meet the baby. But i dont know how o position myself, I dont know whether to be on the sofa with baby in arms, (my dogs are allowed on the sofa), or to leave baby in car seat on the floor and let the dogs come over to sniff/meet baby at ground level.

Obviously me and OH will be there the entire time, but i am a bit apprehensive, and my dogs can get quite excitable (they are the sweetest most loving dogs you could meet!).

I've included a pic so you can see what I mean!

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So does anyone have any comments/ advice for me?

 

[abcd1234]

I'm not too sure about dogs, but my friend had a baby and they had a cat, she would sniff the baby but as soon as she moved the cat was scared of her and would ignore her after a while, she didnt seem to realise what the baby was. It'd prob be different for each individual dog/cat but she was quite a calm quiet cat (having said that she hates dogs, she hisses at them)

If they're well behaved as you say they'll probably take to baby fine, might wonder what baby is for a bit though

 

[heles7]

My mum loves telling the story of how she introduced my sister to the family german shepherd. She put baby on the floor and let the dog have a good sniff of her whilst saying 'This is Clare and she is mine, you've got to look after her'.

I guess if the dogs sense you being protective and not really wanting them to get close, they might be more likely to harbour resentment. I'd go with car seat on floor option.

Let us know how it goes though

 

[GBLiz]

i have a cat who is my baby, i dont think she'll be very impressed by a baby!

I had hoped we would be living in a permanent place by the time the baby came so the cat could get used to staying downstairs and we sleep upstairs.
But seems we will all be sharing space for the forseable future so im not really sure what will happen.

i dont think she'll take any notice in the day BUT she wont be happy about the baby taking her space in bed at night and will walk round our heads miaowwing and keeping us all up

 

[muppetmummy]

I really don't know about dogs I have a cat and plan on keeping him as far away from the baby as possible for the first few months.
I think cats would be a lot easier and a lot less likely to get jealous as they please themselves anyway a lot of the time

 

[sunnyday]

Not too sure but on those programs like Dog Borstal they are always saying that dog owners make the mistake of saying hello to their dogs as soon as they come in, rather than saying hello to their partner, family first.

This can be a problem as dogs respond to the pack mentality, they need to understand their place in the pecking order... just wondering if you might be best to come in with the baby, make a bit of a fuss over baby and then acknowledge the dogs...

 

[sarah2807]

I know what you mean hun. I have 2 cats and they are like my babies at the moment.
they are burmese so pretty intelligent but I know they will be totally freaked out. They hate anything new, especially different noises and smells!! I feel sorry for them but am also concerened about them going in babies cot and pram and stuff
I might play sounds of a baby crying nearer my due date too and get OH to introduce babies sent before we come home?

 

[xkikix]

I have 2 dogs as well, a elder lurcher (like a greyhound) who is completely chilled and a young lab (who is wild). I have been thinking the same thing myself. I was planning getting hubby to let them sniff bub's worn babygros whilst i'm still in hospital (was also considering sending him home with a soiled nappy as well for them to sniff but hubby didnt like that idea!!).

I understand the logic of putting bubs on the floor in car seat but i'm really apprehensive about doing that. How long would you leave the dogs to sniff baby for? I personally would be more relaxed with them meeting baby when he's in my arms on the sofa. Oh now I dont know...! Let me know how you get on!

 

[xrachx]

I got rid of the dog before the baby came, i wouldnt trust an animal with a baby at all, we dont have any pets.
When he gets older we will probably get a cat (i love cats)but not until then.

 

[loz]

I have a staffi who is very clingy to me, so i am going to need to do some work on getting her used to the baby initially. I think I will just introduce her to the baby in my arms and still show her some affection as well. My dog loves people, so I'm sure it wont take long for her to adjust. She was a rescue and had been used to kids before so I'm sure it will be ok. The advice is to never leave a baby alone in a room with a dog anyway so as long as you are around, it should be fine.

 

[xkikix]

I was thinking of doing pretty much the same as you Loz.

I just played some baby crying sounds to my dogs from YouTube, I think I might do that regually from now on as well.

My dogs have been with children before, we've had our baby nephew stay over a few times as well and they were brilliant.

 

[floppit]

I have two dogs, one is not a problem - just a big sloppy lurcher but the other one might be a real problem. The little one is a Patterdale terrier and is very aggresive towards other dogs when he doesn't know them. I have tried dog trainers etc (3 of them!!) and there was an improvement each time but not enough to make him safe, instead of predictably aggresive he became unpredicatbley aggresive! He's also 13 so rehoming him at this stage (with him being very difficult) wouldn't really be an option.

So - because the stakes are high and a mistake is not an option I'm going to use the same method we've used to succesfully intorduce new dogs (he has NEVER gone for a dog once he's accepted it as part of the clan). My best mate will take both dogs for two or three days to let us settle in, then we will set about introducing them.

With a new dog we swap so I have the 'stranger' and Jack (my little terror) sees the 'stranger' with me while he's handled by a friend. We do the intro on nutral territory - outside and away from 'home'. I walk in front with 'stranger' which will be the baby and Jack and co slowly catch me up while we keep walking, the walking doesn't stop until the interest in the stranger stops. Eventually sniffing is allowed. All of this happens with him muzzled until the new dog is firmly accepted and we're moving 'being' like one group.

I'll have to be fit enough to walk, we'll need a good dose of luck and unfortunately jack won't get a second chance if he's aggresive but at least we have made aggresion free introductions to him like this before.

I would NEVER leave him alone with my baby but if I didn't feel as though I would trust him alone then I think I would have to have him put down because there could always be a mistake and terriers move faster than me anyway. In his defence he isn't dominant with the 5 other dogs he klnows - actually he's bottom of the pecking order and he's never been argumentative over food, sleeping places, toys, having vet treatment etc. His problem has been with small animals he's seen as prey or other dogs he views as a threat. Additionally, he's never attacked anything once he's shown acceptance. Through the introduction there will be 3 or 4 adults around so hopefully we're not taking risks.

Honestly I don't know if it's the right decision, I might still change my mind but right now it's the best I can get after talking to everyone who knows him, dogs, and dogs and children that I can find.

Some advice suggested using a toy doll but I think that idea stinks!! I believe my child will have some of our smell and will at least be a person where as for 13 years the only toys in his life have been his to chew!

I've tried him with crying noises and he ignores them.

I think for us it's a very hard decision, I've given in 8 months of thought and advice seeking but there aren't any clear cut answers. One thing I accept is that whatever we do some folk will think it's morally wrong and that we don't care. That's life!

 

[Sherlock]

Good to let the dogs have some baby things for scent before you bring LO home. Also introduce them to the noises, playmats, car seat etc before you go in to have baby. I'd be inclined to take the dogs out for a few short walks with an empty pram before baby arrives. Let them get used to seeing it and being around it.

This is what I would do if I was bringing our LO home to our dogs. Alas we lost them both in the past two months. They were also both well use to children of all ages so chances are our baby would not have phased them in the least But we are considering getting another and I'd do the same sort of thing if we do.

I'd go with coming in and greeting the dogs for a few minutes. Then going out for a walk, LO in pram, dogs on leads etc, even if its only for a 10 minute stroll round the block. My thing would be to then come in, and carry on as normal with LO. Be it keeping in the car seat, or in the pram for a little while. And letting the dogs just get used to the new person now in it, but out of reach. If that is just from scent to begin with thats fine. When you then take LO out, keep it normal and don't make a fuss of the dogs. If you choose to shut one out and have just one at a time in the room then fine.

As to where LO is, in the car seat, wherever, you have to feel comfortable with the position. Reassure your dog and stroke it while he/she says hello to LO. I'd suggest letting the dog sniff but keeping your hand between dog and baby (stroking dogs chest or nose or some such if need be) you can stop anything over inquisitive then. Talk in a calm but confident voice all the time. Then place LO back in pram (or car seat) if in your arms and have the dog follow you out the room so its not like they feel they are being told off or removed. Simply going to the kitchen or somewhere. Then reassure the dogs and bring the other one in and try again. Make sure someone stays with LO while the other swaps the dogs.

That would be my way, with a few slight variations on the day maybe. Depends. If we get another dog before baby is born, and I have my homebirth, dog will be here during my labour. Or possibly go to my parents. But we'd defo go for a short walk if I have to go to hospital. And take baby in pram with us so dog settles into pram walking as s/he will be used to prior to baby arriving.

End of the day, you know your dogs and have to do what you feel is comfortable. Be firm and start how you mean to go on. But also include the dogs and give them a bit of time sans baby. Shutting them outside or something isn't a solution, unless that is what they are used to. You might want to start trying to keep them off the sofa in the coming weeks, so they remain on the floor and in their own dog beds. I personally prefer this over dogs on furniture. Again they then have their own place, and don't see the sofa as *theirs* to possibly get jealous over. Their dog beds are their domain then. People on furniture, dogs have their own beds. You can also then teach your child as they grow to leave the dogs alone in their baskets. And there can be no confusion then over the dogs seeing the sofa as theirs when a LO wants to climb up on it.

 

[shadow]

thanks for the advice everyone. just had the dogs next to me whilst i played baby crying noises loud on the computer. Shadow is asleep, and didnt bat an eye lid, bandit looked at me, came over and sat closer to me, then cleaned himself extensively- so they dont seem too bothered by the noises! In fact, my baby seemed more affected by the noise; Ever since I've been playing the sound effect he's been wriggling like mad- weird!

I know it will be different when there is an actual baby crying, but i'm pleased with how they reacted.

I think deep down i know they wil be fine with the new arrival, they both have good temprements, and have never shown signs of aggression. i think i will have more to worry about when baby is older and crawling, and can grab and pinch and pull them!

 

[Lulubelle]

It all sounds good to me, aside from the suggestion you put the baby on the floor in the car seat.

Dogs are pack animals and need to know where their place is in the heiracy. Your baby should be higher up than them and by placing them in a physically lower place, it is immediatly giving the message that baby is below them in the pecking order.

I know this all sounds bit airy fairy but I got a rescue dog about 5 years ago and then very quickly my baby nephew came to live with me. Dog didn;t adjust well to him so when we went to dog training I asked the traners and that was the best bit of advice, worked with me as well, if I played with dog, I had to make sure her head was not higher than mine until she really understood where her place was.

 

[Gem & Leland]

ive also put up 3 baby gates so i can shut dog away from baby , i put these up well before babe was here so dog didnt associate the gates with baby in a neg way

 

[lfc_sarah]

I have a labrador puppy

Hes very loving with everybody, but can get excited...

So ill have to be careful with my baby

 

[shadow]

ive also put up 3 baby gates so i can shut dog away from baby , i put these up well before babe was here so dog didnt associate the gates with baby in a neg way

When we moved into our new house in november, we put baby gates up then, to prepare the dogs. We figured, new house; new rules- i.e no more upstairs for the dogs. And every now and then (at least once a week), the dogs are put out the kitchen behind the baby gate, to get used to being seperated from us. When its their bed time, they are locked out the kitchen behind the baby gate; they seem to understand that they dont get to spend ever second of every day with us (just 99% of it!).

I think they will adjust quickly (I hope so) i'm just a bit apprehensive as its my 1st baby.

Thanks for all the tips and advice everyone.