Too much on my plate

[tealady3]

Hi,
I'm new here. I am 27 weeks pregnant and struggling to cope with everything I have to do at the moment. I have suffered terrible pregnancy nausea from 6 weeks to the present day. I feel sick every day and can only eat toast/chips/crackers/porridge pretty much. That alone makes me feel miserable and stressed my baby is suffering from lack of nutrition.
However, we have literally just moved house to a completely unliveable unfurnished dirty house- we have had to put new floors down, new carpets, paint everything and deep clean absolutely every part of it. My partner is working full time and is only off one day a week so as you can tell, hardly anything is getting down. Literally living surrounded by boxes, chaos and half painted things which is stressing me out.
I am also trying to complete all of my university assignments before August in amongst the chaos of the house and my sickness.The more time I spend on assignments the moe guilty I feel for not unpacking (we've been here a week and basically unpacked nothing) but I have an essay due every week.
People keep telling me I am moaning but I feel so stressed and down and I feel upset when people say this to me because I personally feel this is all a lot to take on

 

[CoolNoMore]

Hello! I'm very sorry that I didn't see this earlier, your story could have been my story!

We moved when I was 36 weeks, trying to finish a phd (didn't happen) and feeling exhausted all the time. My advice is this: cut yourself some friggin slack. Anyone who tells you to stop moaning needs to pipe down, or roll up their sleeves and help.

Decide what your priority is. For me, it was looking after myself and the baby, but I was further on than you are now. I made sure I had time for yoga, swimming and afternoon snoozing, because that's what I needed. The university work went out the window (I had fantastic support from my supervisor; this may not be your experience) and although I did unpack, I aimed to do three boxes a day. I counted them all up and worked out that if I did that, yes, it would take a while, but it would get done in 15 days. And that's fine!

Above all else, decide what your priorities are, and focus on them. Then allow yourself to get on with that and leave the rest. You sound like Wonderwoman, but you probably aren't

 

[CoolNoMore]

Oh, and if possible, pay someone to give the place a deep clean. It might only cost £30, and if that makes the place feel a little more comfortable, it's 100% worh it.

 

[Elspeth]

Hi tealady,

Also wished I had seen this sooner.
I'd echo a lot of what CNM has said.

Really feel for you, sounds like you have sooo much going on and the sickness must make things so much harder. The guilt is awful, when you feel that other pregnant women are enjoying pregnancy etc and you are trying to climb up an insurmountable mountain of problems.

You're not alone in finding yourself in a situation where you have taken on too much late on in pregnancy. It seems to happen quite a lot.
I was moving house at 36 weeks pregnant too. Big move across country with a 4 bedroom house worth of stuff. And a 3 year old.
I was completing a stage of vocational training at work in the run up to mat leave in a rather stressful job so that was hugely stressful too.

I honestly became very worried for my own mental health. I know I'm high risk for PND, I was crying all the time and felt completely overwhelmed.

Totally agree with CNM about priorities.
Don't worry at all about unpacking.
Rest and attend to your own wellbeing.
Pay someone to do as much as you can afford to with the house stuff and cleaning.
And how dare anyone make you feel bad about moaning.
You can moan as much as you like on here hun.

Sending hugs.
I hope things get easier.


Xxx

 

[tealady3]

Thank you both for replying. It means a lot; it's so good to talk to people who understand and don't think I'm being dramatic/lazy/moaning etc.
CNM thank you for your advice- what happened with uni in the end?
Elspeth, I have to admit I have been worried about myself mentally lately. I'm completely demotivated and miserable and starting to wonder what the point is at the moment. I hate myself for saying it but I am feeling resentful of the pregnancy suddenly even though I love the baby.
I spoke to my uni about extra provisions today and it's gone terribly. Due to my severe pregnancy nausea, I missed all of semester two of university and couldn't attend any lectures so I have no notes/information at all. This lack of attendance as well as the severe nausea will pretty much guarantee me failing my exams if I sit them in three weeks. So asked if I could defer my exams from August until May next year and attend the lectures which start in February. The uni said no, it goes against their policy for me to sit semester two next year again and sit the lectures (for the first time). They have basically said I either have to suck it up and do the exams in three weeks or I can sit the exams in January when my baby will be potentially less than 8 weeks old if I am overdue. I don't see how I can revise with a baby that young when I need to be bonding with it and learning how to be a mother! Plus, it still doesn't solve the problem of me not having any lecture notes/information as I won't be allowed to attend the lectures to obtain it. I feel extremely miserable right now and I just want to give up. I worked so hard at uni and was on track to a first....now it looks like that's gone.