told to wait!!!

[floridagirl]

Its been two weeks since loosing my baby at 12 weeks, I have bad days and good days as expected. In two and a half weeks we go to Florida for three weeks (we sooooo need this holiday after everything)
I feel the need to be pregant again even though I am terrified it will happen again but I cant get babies out of my mind!!!!
My husband is now saying that it is too soon to even think about having another baby and wants to wait untill after our holiday and then we will think about it!!!!!!
I am so angry with him!!! five and a half week may not seem a long time but it does when you are desparate for a baby (and even then he only wants to think/talk about it)
He is scared that the same thing will happen, which I totally undrstand but I am so frustrated!!!!

 

[Kirsthar]

Hi Floridagirl. I really feel for you! After lossing my baby at 8 weeks my dh agreed we could try again after one period which i have just finished. I asked him yesterday if he was excited about trying again now and he said he now doesnt want to as he is worried it will happen again! I am gobsmacked! He wanted it before but now the time has come he has changed his mind!

I completly understand he is worried as i am too. He even said "Maybe its a sign we shouldnt have anymore children!" and that really hurt me!!!

I hoping that in time he will change his mind but no point in forcing the issue otherwise he will def not want anymore.

Sorry i know i've just gone off the point on your thread but i hope it gives you comfort to know that you are not alone with this xxx

 

[karenandbump]

Hey hon, It is a tough thing to deal with. After my mc I went through a few weeks of saying I never wanted to be pregnant again cos I was so scared. He is probably just in a bad place with it. I'm sure he will change his mind. It might just take him a bit longer to get past it. Thinking of u guys xxx

 

[floridagirl]

Hi Floridagirl. I really feel for you! After lossing my baby at 8 weeks my dh agreed we could try again after one period which i have just finished. I asked him yesterday if he was excited about trying again now and he said he now doesnt want to as he is worried it will happen again! I am gobsmacked! He wanted it before but now the time has come he has changed his mind!

I completly understand he is worried as i am too. He even said "Maybe its a sign we shouldnt have anymore children!" and that really hurt me!!!

I hoping that in time he will change his mind but no point in forcing the issue otherwise he will def not want anymore.

Sorry i know i've just gone off the point on your thread but i hope it gives you comfort to know that you are not alone with this xxx

He is the same as my husband, why and how can they do this!!!!Its like the choice of having another baby is taken out of my hands andits just not fair!!!

 

[karenandbump]

Aw hon....got everything crossed for you that he's ready to try again really soon xxx

 

[sarah1]

Hey, it is a rubbish time for you both at the moment, and your OH sounds like mine - they don't understand the need we have to be pregnant again. I am scared it will happen again too but I suppose you could think like that forever couldn't you?! Me and my OH eventually decided we were not gonna try for a bit but also not going to use any contraception, prob doesn't seem like a great solution but there's less pressure now. I get mad at OH sometimes though as its like you said, they are kind of taking the decision out of your hands.
Its frustrating I know, hope he is ready to try again soon. Remember everyone is here if you want a rant xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Florida girl, maybee this holiday is just what you need. You 1st period may come just before or after you go, (make sure you pack some stuff, don't know what they have in the US!)

You will hopefully both relax and enjoy your holiday, spend quality time togther and have plenty of time to dicuss and air how you both feel. Explain to him your need to be pregnant, (I'm the same since mine).

You might find this helps things and could be a holiday conception !!- good luck JJ X

 

[jarjar7]

Hi Floridagirl...Sorry, I've never been through this but like the other Ladies are saying, maybe it has hit him just as hard as it has hit you and he needs some time to deal with it and get over his fear. As hard as it is, try and give him that time, enjoy your holiday and I'm sure he'll realise he still wants a Child as much as he did before you unfortunately lost your last one.
FX for you hun.
xxxx

 

[Tasha89]

You enjoy your holiday - you never know, once he's in a relaxed state of mind (i.e. Chilling out in the sun!) he might change his mind Xx

 

[Kirsthar]

Hey, i spoke with my friend last night who is a counsellor and she interestingly said to look at it from his point of view.

You have a wife who you love very much. You decide to have a child together. You find out you are expecting a child and your love for your wife grows even more. You both make wonderful plans for this baby, even though it is only a few weeks old. You are so Happy. Then his wife is in pain, emotional and physically. She goes through the trauma of losing the baby. Both your worlds are tipped upside down. All of the time you are forced to stand by and watch your wife go through this and you are completly helpless.

Would you chose to put your wife through that again?

I think looking at it from that point of view really helped. I can understand why now he is so frightened, he does not want to put me through that again. I think maybe our husbands just need time. I think once your husband has the time and understanding from you, he will probally come round much quicker.

I hope this will help you, like it did me xxx