Toddler hitting ... A lot!!

[Mrbump83]

This last week my 20 month old girl has started slapping us, her baby brother ( 7 months) and children at soft play!

We have never hit her! Not even a tap!

I have no idea but it's when she gets angry or upset ( not getting her own way etc) she will slap us, the table, anything in arms reach.

We've tried ignoring it, walking away saying nothing, explaining its not nice and teaching her to take deep breathes, say sorry when she's slapped ( she does every time once calm) but nothing is stopping the slaps if anything she is getting worse!

I tried changing her nappy earlier and she said no, so explained it was night night etc she exploded and slapped her brother who my OH was holding, then the door, the table

At soft play a girl pushed past her, much older girl and she slapped her. The girl was so shocked she just walked off.

Any advice on how I can stop this?
It's so upsetting because she was a cuddle bum before this and loved other children x x

 

[Sharmon]

I have no advice, but just wanted you to know ur not alone. My 21month old girl has also started slapping us when we say no to something & enforce it. I have been putting her on time out & explaining its not nice to hit people & asking her to apologise which she does, but I'm not sure we're getting through, really unsure what the best way is to handle this. She has also recently started pinching me! I think she may have picked some of these behaviours up in nursery (from other toddlers) as we have never slapped her & we certainly have never pinched her? I would also be interested in any advice people have on how to handle this situation. X

 

[Mrbump83]

It's horrible isn't it!
She used to cuddle so much too,
I wondered if soft play was to blame as she got pushed around a lot but I've only ever seen one bite and she doesn't bite us ... Yet! X

 

[Sparklisam]

My LO slaps out of anger and frustration. Usually if I'm not quick enough to understand to know what he wants. When he slaps not relating not to frustration more for a reaction I ignore it. However if he does slap others through frustration I pick him up and remove him from the situation and sit him down. I then ignore him for a few seconds. Take him back to who he has hit and rubs it and I say sorry. He's started to say this back. I don't think it's about what they've seen / if they've been hit. I am completely against hitting children - my very own opinion and don't judge others who do. So when he did it changed my mind as I wrongly assumed kids hit because there parents hit them. How wrong was I !! All a learning curve as a parent tho. Now he talks a bit more he doesn't do it as often. I usually ignore any bad behaviour so when I do pick him up and remove him he's really a shocked so think that's why it's worked so well for him xxx

 

[queenriccy]

Been though this Hun. Best advice is to remove them from the situation , don't talk to them because you are giving them the attention they want, sit them down and explain that it's wrong and give them time out - facing a wall or something. But you have to stick to it, I know it's easy to jump and tell them off but I found Olly was doing it for attention.

They do grow out of it, Olly is 28 month now and we still get the odd time where it comes from no where but I am confident dealing with it now.

Big hugs xxx

 

[littlemonkey]

Definitely sounds like attention seeking, especially going for the baby. Also how is your LO at talking? I found my eldest stopped all the physical tantrums once he could communicate better. Then it just turned into shouting and screaming instead!