As Im sure a lot of you know Ive been really struggling with the cesarian, and I thought I was the only one I knew being a total wolly about it all but I told my mum how I was feeling and she had gone through the exact same through our births (she had to have 3 c sections) 
why did I wait 10 weeks!!!
Anyway she gave me a book she bought which really helped her. It talks about why women grieve after c-sections and the feelings of failure etc.. then sends a lovely message as follows;
Wild animals, such as deer, know when there is danger around and tend to keep out of the way of danger. The only exception to this is when they are looking after their babies. They will often 'take on' a preditor they know they cannot beat, they deliberately distract the preditor and even sacrifice themselves to protect the lives of their babies, they love them that much.
A woman who has been told that her babies life is in danger during labour, who then consents to the very scary experience of having surgery while awake, do this to protect their child. They act utterly selflessly and have not failed, but succeeded at being a natural mother who would do anything to save the life of their child, even before that child is even born.
I just loved that. I consented to c-section without hesitiation, even though it is the furthest thing from the birth I had planned, and I was more scared than Ive ever been lying on that table, because I was so worried about my boy. That makes me a real mother, and a real woman
why did I wait 10 weeks!!!Anyway she gave me a book she bought which really helped her. It talks about why women grieve after c-sections and the feelings of failure etc.. then sends a lovely message as follows;
Wild animals, such as deer, know when there is danger around and tend to keep out of the way of danger. The only exception to this is when they are looking after their babies. They will often 'take on' a preditor they know they cannot beat, they deliberately distract the preditor and even sacrifice themselves to protect the lives of their babies, they love them that much.
A woman who has been told that her babies life is in danger during labour, who then consents to the very scary experience of having surgery while awake, do this to protect their child. They act utterly selflessly and have not failed, but succeeded at being a natural mother who would do anything to save the life of their child, even before that child is even born.
I just loved that. I consented to c-section without hesitiation, even though it is the furthest thing from the birth I had planned, and I was more scared than Ive ever been lying on that table, because I was so worried about my boy. That makes me a real mother, and a real woman
in a nutshell, I was saying how beautiful and true that is, and how you should be proud of yourself for doing it for Morgan, instead of beating yourself up hun 
my SIL is going through the same thing atm, she gave birth a few days ago, induced, 18 hour labour, 2 hours of pushing ending in a section. She's v emotional and down atm and I will be passing this on, thanks for sharing 
xxxx 
but to deliver a breech baby (which she wasn't 4 days prior) was risky, they said she might push on the placenta with her head and be deprived of oxygen and could end up brain damaged. 
