To multiply or not multiply...that is the question...

[Jayceesmumma]

Cut to the chase here..
We're thinking of having a baby.. but im not 100% sure one min, but the next i am.. on the one hand, getting all the kids out of the way early means the sooner we get our lives back LOL, but then we're okay at the moment, we get to go out, not very often at all, but we do maybe once every 4-5 weeks? and we can have weekends without the girls once E is older (easier for 'rents) and having another will prolong this.. but if we wait say a year or so, we have to do the whole baby thing (i love it tho) all over again and take longer to get time for us if you know what i mean? Plus he's not the father of my first two, we've been together a year and a bit, we dont live together at the mo, but he's moving in after xmas and before new yr lol. He works local to him and he wont change his job so he will be commuting via car about 2 hours there and 2 back. hes moving because i found out the day before our 1yr anniversary (27th oct) that he cheated 4 months into our relationship with his ex. alot of lies were told before and even after i found out. we're working on it. My girls love him, E asks for him every day, as does J. (we only see him at weekends) He's been around since E was 5 months old and he is all she knows. I couldnt bear to take him away from her. And he loves them as his own. My girls dont have their real father (for those who know me, you know why!!) and id hate to take him away from them, they love him.
So.. i was only gonna do a short post but as always i ramble lol
Do you think it would be a good idea or bad idea to have another baby?
I dont want much of an age gap between my kids, and if i spend the rest of my life with him (which i plan to regardless of what happened) we're going to have kids anyway, as i cant deny him of his bloodline lol!

Whats ur opinions? Honesty is valued

Thanks
xx

 

[CoreysMummy]

Living with someone can be a total different kettle of fish to jsut seeing them of a weekend!

Havning said that - if you are in a safe, secure, happy relationship then go for it. I want a small age gap, so will be getting up the duff again in about 6/7 months hopefully.

Its up to you, but you dont want to be left with 3 childeren to two fathers and find yourself on your own, or with someone else who decides that he wants his own baby too...!! Just my opinion remember

If I were you, and u were happy and goign great in 6 months, then id go for a baby!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks hun,
He will never leave us high and dry like their dad. if we split up he would still wanna see my girls, he's bonded with them so much. so i know that wouldnt be a problem with his own child.

Yeah i may leave it for a while..

Living with someone is totally different, your right..

im still in two minds though.. lol i do plan on spending my ife with him and he feels the same. he's begged me to stop taking the pill but i cant bring myself to do it just yet til im 100% sure.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Ooooh where in hertfordshire are you?

 

[Tillytots]

I voted no baby BUT I mean at the moment. I decided that within reading the first sentence. You're not sure. If you're not sure then wait until you are totally 110% for a baby Then I read you and your OH are working on things, another definite reason to wait. I had a baby with my OH when we were working on things and when we'd only just moved in together (6months) and it went pear shaped and he isnt here now. We'd been together 5yrs too. Thats not to say the same will happen to you, I pray it doesnt but Im just sharing my experience with you The whole moving in together put on a massive strain and then we got pregnant and that was it - even though we planned it. Id wait a while, probably a year hun and then you'll know exactly what to do

 

[Squiglet]

I hadn't lived with my ex before I got pregnant and if I'd known then what I know now, I'd never have had a kid with him. Never. I'm not saying your oh is the same but you don't really know a person unless you live with them first. Technically, your oh asn't even managed to go a year with dedicating himself to you and your family....so at the moment, I'd say no.

I know how easy it is to get all broody and want to have a baby with a man in a new relationship...I knew I would spend the rest of my life with DH, wanted a baby with him in the first year...but waited...and we got to spend time together (like our honeymoon, weekends away) just the two us before lil miss came along, got to know each other as a couple before we expanded so to speak. Since shes come along we have been out together just 2 times...once to the cinema in June and last Saturday for our second wedding anniversary... and yer its hard and it impacts our relationsip...

Just mjake sure your relationship is solid and you trust your OH before you have kids because if you don't have these things babies have a great way at chipping away at what you do have...

 

[mummykay]

live with him first hun then make up ur mind

 

[CoreysMummy]

Im in Stevenage Hun!!

Not far at all from Watford... infact, im going shopping there today - I NEED a dress.

Sorry to go off topic. I hope everyones helped

 

[farls]

i would wait and work on your relationship for now. small babies put pressure on even the most secure relationships. i would wait 6 mths and see how you feel then. if your not 100% sure i think it would be best to wait. hope this helps

 

[Clydesdaleclopper]

I'd wait a while. Give your relationship a chance to settle before putting such a big burden on it.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thank you all so much for your replies, i see now i have to wait. i had a moment of weakness i think lol!
Im not 100% trusting him yet so its best i wait. hes a great guy and i love him to bits and so do my kids, im gonna work it out first and see if i can stand his pants all over the floor lol!!
Thanks so much!
xxxx

 

[trixipaws]

ooh jo, hello! nice to see u again! i think go for it, but wait awhile first. establish trust, and try living together first, then have a bab! look forward to it maybe u might be ttc in summer- we could b ttc buddies!
xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Hiyaaaaaaaaa!!


yeah i was thinking of planning to concieve in maybe july/august then ill have a april/may baby, J is june and E is may, so an april baby would be cool. I like summer bdays!

Plus it will give us time to settle and rebuild what we had..
Yeah ttc buddies!!
How r u doing? Bubs okay?
xxxxxxx

 

[Gem & Leland]

Im in Stevenage Hun!!

Not far at all from Watford... infact, im going shopping there today - I NEED a dress.

Sorry to go off topic. I hope everyones helped

you went shopping in watford and didnt come to see me did you go into the elc ? thats where i work , well at least till xmas lol



as for your post hun , id deffo live with him for 6 months first , so much you learn about them when your together like that . and for what its worth , relationships can work out really well even if one person has cheated , me and hubby are proof of that

 

[Jayceesmumma]

as for your post hun , id deffo live with him for 6 months first , so much you learn about them when your together like that . and for what its worth , relationships can work out really well even if one person has cheated , me and hubby are proof of that

Thanks hun for the advice on the cheating bit, may have to talk to u more about that..
its gonna be a strain him living with me anyway as he will be commuting 2hours there and 2 hours back everyday via car..providing the traffic is ok, and he drives all day too...hours at a time. plus the whole money thing... i dont know. sometimes i think hes just making excuses not to move in.
we've decided not to have one now. he decided for me. when he was the one that put the idea in my head in the first place by asking me to stop the pill twice. but this was before i found out he cheated. so im thinking it was all either guilt, or to trap me for when i did find out.
Im too accusing i think, but then i was right before.. i think the worst in situations before the best, as i dont wanna be let down any more.ive turned into such a negative person through no fault of my own. believe it or not lol. every bloke ive been with has cheated and worse. its awful. it must be my fault somehow?