To know, or not to know??

[Jayceesmumma]

This is my third child, but my partners first..
I found out what i was having with my first two pregnancies, but we were deciding whether to find out or not with this one..
He's impatient so kinda wants to know but is happy to wait and have a surprise..
Recently i've been wondering if we may as well find out to be prepared.. but with my first two i did kinda regret finding out in a way..
Has anyone had a surprise AND found out? What was the better experience? or was it all the same?
Also if youve had a surprise previously was it worth waiting for?

Coming up to the 16 week mark makes it harder as i could find out if i wanted to... he will be happy to go along with whatever i want to do..

Help!

 

[Cazza]

Oh my goodness what a difiicult choice for you and your OH!!!

I think it's a very personal choice, go with your heart.

Me personally, I don't do suprises!!! I need to know!!

Good Luck xx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

I never found out with my little man but I have with this pregnancy and I think its lovely not to know but its also lovely to find out, as i feel this time I can be alot more organised. So I think its down to everyones personal preference either way you have a lovely bundle of joy to love at the end of your journey x x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I know its a minor thing to be concerned about..
I just want everything to be perfect this time round.. I had alot of troubles while i was preg with my first two (people who know me from before will know it all ) and i was unable to enjoy it.. but now im with a loving partner and want it all to be perfect for us both

 

[Kay1987]

I didnt find out with my son but i have this time and i can honestly say i wish i didnt. Its meant i could buy things in the right colours but it doesnt compare to that moment at birth in my opinion. Everyone is different tho, i think the majority of ppl are happy they found out! x

 

[ISH]

I need to know as soon as possible, I'd like some time to get used to the idea, think of names, buy the right things... I imagine I'll be too exhausted to care whether it's a boy or a girl by the time they come out, as long as they're healthy.

 

[kedi376]

I don't really want to know, would prefer the suprise. But OH's brother is having a baby 2 months before us and said he wanted to use his Dad's name if it was a boy (which it is), but as my OH is the eldest he gets first chance at that name. If we wait until our LO is born then it's a girl it will be too late for them to use the name they want. The decision is too hard to make at the moment, so I'm waiting.

 

[Jaxx01]

Im going to find out I cant bear to not know plus Im on my own so want to be prepared xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I don't really want to know, would prefer the suprise. But OH's brother is having a baby 2 months before us and said he wanted to use his Dad's name if it was a boy (which it is), but as my OH is the eldest he gets first chance at that name. If we wait until our LO is born then it's a girl it will be too late for them to use the name they want. The decision is too hard to make at the moment, so I'm waiting.

Oh thats a tricky situation to be in! Keep us updated on what you decide to do! I suppose it depends if u really like the name in question.. as if you dont.. its a good excuse to bypass the name...

Dont worry about doing it on your own, ive brought both my girls up single handedly and its hard work yes, but rewarding knowing you can take all the credit for your amazing children

I just came to realise why i may fear finding out the gender.. with my first, her father didnt talk to me for a week as he wanted a boy and the relationship went downhill from there and he turned nasty then as things got better (with the help of the law-anti molestation order) we decided to have another.. found out the gender and we split up.. for the best really as he was a ****...

I know my new partner will never change due to the gender as he will honestly be happy with either one... just dont want to get his hopes up for a specific gender only to have to go thru the 'getting used to it' after its born..

I know its a very minor thing to be concerned about and i do read into everything and think about things too much and too deep lol but i think its just a fear of history repeating but still knowing it wont... *sigh* sorry for ranting.. i hope someone understands lol its hard to explain!

 

[Binzy]

I can see both sides of the argument, but as this is my first, I think someone handing me a real live baby is going to be a big enough surprise! I like knowing I am expecting a little boy.
However in your situation maybe it needs to be your OH who has the final word as you have done it twice before whereas it's completely different for him. It must be quite tough on him, but don't let your ex tarnish what should be a magical moment.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

exactly, i want this to be so special for him (and myself too as ive never had anyone be happy about my pregnancies) and ill never let my ex ruin it, but i think thats one of the reasons why i would prefer to wait.. not a big reason but maybe a subconscious one...
My OH and I are both undecided.. If he really wanted to know i would totally find out, but hes very unsure what he wants to do.. I will follow what he says, but as we both dont know what its actually like to have a surprise, we agreed to post on here and ask people with experience (and without) what they thought of the surprise.. is it really worth the wait? is it better to be prepared? (NO unisex clothes anywhere makes it tough!!) we have the essential clothes in white/grey/cream and bedding etc is all humphreys corner neutral..
just dont want to find out and regret missing the moment some people talk about when they have a surprise...

 

[Binzy]

If your oh isn't set on finding out then maybe a surprise is best then (although if you have 2 girls already this may alter the surprise a bit!).

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thats the thing... he really cant decide lol and its kinda driving me mad lol! one min he says, ok lets find out.. so then i have to get used to the fact we are going to find out.. then he says, well actually... and its starts again!

 

[Binzy]

Fair enough! That would do my head in too! I suppose you have to give him an ultimatum before the 20 week scan!!

 

[suzzi]

this is my third pregnancy and id quite happily wait and see but OH wants to find out x x i didnt find out with my first but did with my second x x funnily i guessed right both times x x

 

[hopefulmummy]

Your ex partner sounds like an absolute knobend. No offence...

I waited and I am so glad we did. I can't wait for that moment when baby is born and hubby announces sex. Magical. Xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

this is my third pregnancy and id quite happily wait and see but OH wants to find out x x i didnt find out with my first but did with my second x x funnily i guessed right both times x x

So what did you prefer... Knowing or not knowing?

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Your ex partner sounds like an absolute knobend. No offence...

I waited and I am so glad we did. I can't wait for that moment when baby is born and hubby announces sex. Magical. Xx

Knobend puts it mildly! He still hasnt seen the girls since the second one was born, but he's all over his boy with his new wife.. Which I'm very happy about as it keeps him away from me!!