To have a 3rd baby... or not to have a 3rd baby...

[Glitter2707]

I'm currently having a dilemma. We have two beautiful girls and it goes without saying that they are our whole world & we adore them. Hubs feels we are complete. I'm not sure I do :-/
The thought of not having a tiny baby ever again makes me feel so sad. Yet my head is saying, you are already blessed, think finances, holidays, car, practicalities! Would 3 always mean one is left out etc. I'm just not sure I'm ready to be done. I know no one can answer this for me but would welcome any pearls of wisdom from anyone who decided to stop at 2 or who is having/has got 3!
Thanks xx
P.s. Not sure I could definitely convince hubby to have another anyway haha but I hate this feeling! And would hate to have regrets!

 

[kumber]

I was in the same position as you, two wonderful boys, hubby was happy to be done, but at the end of it I needed another baby. All sensible thoughts went out the window, and they're still out there. We will manage somehow, and will always make sure no one is left out. I'm sure you'll be the same. We aren't ones for doing big holidays, so that was never really a consideration for us, although we are massively struggling on the car front. We're working out what the slimmest car seats are to see if we can squeeze them in until we're able to upgrade to a bigger car.

It did take hubby a lot of convincing, as he was very against it, but he saw how upset I was having to get my head around being 'finished' and he relented. We've both agreed this is our last, we're definitely both done now!

 

[CARNAT22]

Decision was taken out of our hands as pregnancy number 3 is unplanned (very much wanted - although took us a while to get our heads round it!!)

I won't lie, I'm very nervous but the consensus seems to be its harder to go from 1 to 2 than it is going 2 to 3.

X

 

[candymycandy]

I am pg with no2 and he will be my last baby. Makes me a little sad but practically speaking it's the right choice for our family for a few reasons. I am one of 3 and don't remember anyone feeling left out if that's any help?! I also think you can never afford a baby - I remember panicking we couldn't afford my lb but you do make these things work. May include some Compromises and sacrifice down the road but it can be done. Think you have to consider if you're prepared for life as a mum of 3 and all the things that involves? If you're not in a rush my advice would be to think about it for a few months and discuss it with DH and ask him to do the same x

 

[Glitter2707]

Thanks all. Congrats on your pregnancies! Kumber that sounds exactly like our situation - you will have 3 very close together though by the looks of it, hats off to you haha. I do feel I will always feel sad at not having another. Yeah I'm not in a rush, my youngest is only 20 months so would wait till she was a bit bigger anyway. I'm only 30 so should hopefully have a few more baby making years in me yet
Yes the car thing is tricky, we have a Kia ceed estate so I was hoping we'd get an infant carrier, toddler car seat & HBB across the back but I'm not convinced! The seats are just so huge!

 

[kumber]

Yes, very close together! My eldest is delayed in speech and understanding so it will basically be 3 under 3! It'll be an adventure anyway we have a Kia Rio and will be getting car seats soon, so I can let you know how we get on if that helps?

 

[Glitter2707]

Yeah that'd be great, thanks. Is the rio a small-ish one?
Good luck I'm sure you will have great fun. I think I would wait until my eldest is around 5, youngest 3 & at nursery so not quite so crazy... hopefully...

 

[kumber]

It's about the same width as the Ceed, possibly slightly slimmer

 

[kanga86]

Hey Glitter, I'm in a similar situation except I have 3 boys and yet I can't shake the feeling for baby number 4! Hubby is in the no camp, and is the very sensible one regarding finances, practicalities and chaos we already have but I feel as though I would regret not trying for another. I had a chemical pregnancy at the start of July and it has set me off into a crazy I must have another baby and be pregnant now phase. Ideally I would love to try in oct/Nov time this year then hold off for a while, just need to talk to hubby when the boys are behaving at their best lol xx

 

[first_time_mum]

I'm currently in my 2ww to see if I am pregnant with my 3rd, my little girl starts nursery in September so I know there will be a few days where it would just be me my son and the baby if I am so not worried to much. Worrying about finance and space more but I know we can make it work xx

 

[Glitter2707]

These men just don't get it kanga do they? Haha. Ovaries can shout very loudly when they want to
Yeah I'm thinking if we waited till next year to get preg by time bubs arrived my eldest would be in reception, middle in nursery every morning... so could have a nap with bubs. Space not too much of an issue as we have a spare bedroom anyway (although it is currently the laundry room!) I've spent way too much time thinking about this & going over it, hubs would be like WTF if he could see inside my head haha.
He was talking about having a vasectomy after our youngest was born though and it's not happened yet I'm going to work on convincing him gradually I think...

 

[kanga86]

Haha they really don't! My hubby has been threatening to get the snip since I was pregnant with Alfie our 3rd but I had to convince him not too. He knows I really want to have another but I think he is hoping I will just forget about it as the kids get older but I don't see that happening. I need to try for a baby girl as I haven't swayed girl yet and if we still have another boy then I will be surrounded by 4 amazing boys I have done similar planning to you haha. From next sept, Harry will be in school, James in nursery full time, Alfie will be doing 2 mornings a week so will be so much easier. Even worked out if we conceive oct, I would be due July just as the schools break up, so for the first 6 weeks of baby being here I wouldn't have to do school runs haha I think hubby would freak out if he knew the planning I've done haha

 

[Glitter2707]

I'm a teacher so have been planning when to get pregnant so that I can take less mat leave but still get paid (I.e. 'Return to work' at start of summer hols) to be fair I think my hubby just hasn't done it coz he's a scaredy cat haha. My mum has thrown a spanner in the works today though... I love her dearly & she is always my go to person for advice but she reckons 3 is really awkward - I've got no chance of convincing hubby to have 4 (much as I would totally go for that!) I wish I could just turn off the hormones haha. You should defo have 4 kanga
P.s. I take it you already have a 7 seater car

 

[kanga86]

I can totally understand wanting to time maternity leave ending at the school holidays, that would be awesome to get extra money for time off with the baby when I had my 3rd everyone thought we were crazy even my grandma did and she had 3 girls of her own, so don't get the judgement from her! I wish I could turn the hormones off too, it would be so much easier! Yep we have a vw touran with 7 seats so that's not an issue, plus we still have everything and I mean everything for a baby so it would only be a few clothes we would need to buy if a pink one and even then my los lived in sleepsuits for the first 6 months so not many outfits will be needed either! xx