This is sooooo embarrassing - really worried! Not a thief!!

[Miss.Monroe]

i cant belive they did that. i work in superdrug and we get people stealing £40 worth of stuff, they get caught and brought back in store, and nothing ever happens. tap on the hand and off they go, i think the most that happens is they get an £80 fine, which they pay. but people never get banned!

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies - I appreciate every single one of them! I think ordering on line is the safer option - at least you can't be accused of stealing - unless you highjack the delivery truck!!!!

They took my name and address - why do you think they did that? I have a vision of the police calling at my house and carting me off in handcuffs!! (my hubby says I have got the most vivid and dramatic imagination ever!!!)

 

[DebbieM]

Oh I feel for you. I wouldn't worry too much. It was a very honest mistake and I'm sure it could happen to any of us at any time - especially with a child in tow!

As for not opening packages before you pay... hmmm.. I don't agree with that. I see Mum's in stores all the time who open sweets and stuff for their kids before they pay and the stores don't seem to mind at all. I have even opened a pack of Curaheat heat pads in Tesco (very recently) as I was walking around simply because I was in agony and REALLY needed one and not a thing was said. The pack was paid for at the tills and all was fine.

Try not to stress over it. It was an honest mistake.

 

[kellysomer]

Goodness i should be in prison by now the amount of times that Isla has put things in the trolley. I normally take them back and explain when i realise, but last week she picked up a tub of playdoh for 78p from asda and i didnt realise until i got home, 30 miles away. I was worried and said to hubby about it, he found it funny that i was worried over a 78p tub of playdoh but i can just imagine the embarrasment of it all if they had seen.

I would definatly write to the shop to explain things and apologise. How they can class a child eating soemthing in the shop as stealing i have no idea. I always give Isla something to eat to keep her happy while i shop, normally grapes. I then tell the shop assistant and they scan the empty wrapper, i also did this when i felt rough with morning sickness. Nothing has ever been said as i always pay for the item and infact once or twice they have just smiled at me and put the wrapper in the bin and said dont worry.

I know how silly little things like this can eat you up, i would have been mortified and played it over and over again in my head. Try not to worry though, i am sure the police have better things to do with thier time, if you look at it like that the thought of them calling over a sausage is a bit funny.

Dont worry it'll soon blow over, i once walked out of BHS with a whole load of clothes on the buggy as my little one was screaming, new mums dont like to get flustered. Needless to say i took the clothes back and the security guard that didnt notice me leaving with them did notice when i brought them back to explain!!!

 

[Hypnorm]

Treat it as a learning experience... i bet you won't put anything inyour handbag again lol!

i think the sausages was a bit ott you had the package so you were going to pay.

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies girls!

Another day has passed and I feel a bit better again - still going over it in my head and still hate being labelled as a shoplifter! (even though it is shoplifting putting something in your bag!!). Had a good night's sleep last night which has helped. Myself, DH and Ffion are going to go to Porthcawl Beach this afternoon for a walk along the sand.

Do you think that the Police will still come 2 days after event?? I know I sound paranoid about it and it is ridiculous but if you knew me you would know I was born with a "worried stress head" on my shoulders.

Have not told my parents because it would upset them!

Keep advising please - it is doing me the world of good!!!!!

 

[michaels]

Can you say which supermarket it was?

First, don't worry about it, the 12 month ban nonsense is just that, nonsense. It's a scare tactic that they use. Go back in three months and they'll have totally forgotten about it. they also won't call the police. You'd need to be a repeat offender or to have stolen something big. Plus they would need to have called the police straight away,

Second, if it was me, (or my wife it happened to) I'd raise hell! Not only would they be getting a strongly worded letter they'd have me picketing the store and having calls to their CRM manager in their head office on a daily basis. I'd probably also use every medium I could to advertise the fact that they simply picked on someone vulnerable to make a point.

You could leave it, nothing more will come of it but on principle I wouldn't be able to

You'll probably find that a good letter with the threat of going public with what you feel was an attack on a vulnerable women will get you an apology and a voucher. (Depending on the store) If you use a Nectar card or a similar store scheme such as a Tesco loyalty card make a note of the number and show how much you have spent in their store over the years. Let them know that as well. They don't want any bad press or to be bad mouthed by a mum, most of the large supermarkets are very sensitive to that kind of thing.

Here's a funny story to cheer you up. This happened to me a few months ago.

I went to a large Sainsburys one lunchtime to buy a bottle of red wine for that evening. I was going to be home late and wouldn't have the chance later. This is also my local store at which I do all of my shopping.

I got to the till to pay.

Till person: Do you have a passport?
Me: Erm....what?
Her: I need ID to prove your age
Me: Strange that you would ask for a passport, I don't happen to carry mine around.
Her: Well do you have ID?
Me: No but I'm 30 years old! I'm in a suit, I look 30.
Her: You look under 18.
Me: Well thanks, but I'm not. Do I look older than 17?
Her: Well...yes
Me: but not 18?
Her: No
Me: So 17 and a half?
Her: Maybe
Me: I don't have any ID but I do have 5 credit cards with my name on
Her: They could be your dad's cards
Me: This is getting silly, You won't serve me? Okay, I'd like to speak to your supervisor

Supervisor arrives

Him: What's the problem?
Me: How old do I look?
Him: 25-30
Me: Well she thinks I'm under 18, could you please sell me this bottle of wine?
Him: No, I have to support her, I can't overide her
Me: SO WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING A SUPERVISOR?
(I was getting angry at this stage

Him: You could try another till to see if they will serve you.
Me: WHAT? So I could try every till until one of them serves me?
Him: Yes.
Me: Do you not think that's a bit silly?
Him: Well...
Me: Could I speak to the store manager please?

Now please remember that I spend a lot of money in this place, I have never been turned down before and it's not like I was buying a can of diamond white to get drunk on. It was a £15 bottle of wine.

The store manager arrived. I told him what had happened. he aplogised as he saw that the situation was a bit silly. He said I should try another till! I said that I would come back later, with 50 photocopies of my passport and I would like him to put a copy at each till so that I'm not going to turn up at his supermarket and not be served. He said that he wouldn't do that but saw that the situation was a bit silly.

As an apology he would let me get a 6 bottle wine carrier, choose any 6 bottles of wine and have them for free. (I think he realised I wasn't likely to leave until the problem was resolved)

Not a bad result. Complaining does work sometimes I'm not usually as abrasive as that but I shop there almost every day, I spend a lot of money there and I don't want to go in not knowing whether I'll be served or not. I've actually turned into good friends with the guy, whenever I see him we have a little chat and laugh about the situation.

Of course technically the store was right to refuse me. I didn't have ID and the till person was unsure. But sometimes policies are enforced with little thought and without putting the situation into context. It sounds like the same thing has happened to you.

 

[purple13]

michaels - i had a similar thing happen to me at sainsburys - a trolley full of yummy and expensive organic food, and a v cheap bottle of plonk to cook with - but no id, so no wine! the wedding ring, pregnant bump, mercedes car keys, credit cards etc weren't proof enough... and i really (sadly) don't look under 18!

i know the guilty feeling well though - i went to a high street shop a couple of years ago and was trying on tops, but i needed a bra for one of them and wasn't wearing one. so i got one from the rail and tried on the tops, bought one of them, and went on my way. it was only when i got home that night that i realised i was still wearing the bra! and i didn't feel like i could take it back cos it was summer and i'd been on the tube and was really sweaty...! i felt soooo bad for ages.

you'll be able to laugh about this in time to come honey

 

[abcd1234]

I'm in total shock that they did that!!!!
I was told by our security that it's fine to open things before paying as long as they pay for them, and they must have been watching you for a long time to notice a tiny thing like nail polish!!
Everywhere i've worked before would have let you off after you'd explained. However my friend was caught stealing (she was actually stealing though so bit of a difference) and made to pay then send away, 4 months later the police turned up and arrested her about it!
Like someone else said i'd just go back in a few months as they wont notice you at all. up to you whether you want to do that though after treating you like that

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies!

Michaels - you should be a comedian!!! Sorry to laugh sooooo much about your event but as I was reading it I could actually see it happening in a comedy sketch!! It is ridiculous! Thanks for taking the time to write in such length about your experience.

To be honest, my husband is absolutely furious about the whole situation because we are lucky enough to have a very comfortable lifestyle and would never consider taking something which is not ours to take. He feels very angry about the whole thing - I am embarrassed more than anything!

We went shopping today and I am completely paranoid and very nervous just incase something else happens like the baby picks something up!

I am worried now that they won't forget about it and will turn up in a couple of weeks or months to arrest me!

My friend's husband is a solicitor and he said that the cctv camera would be wiped by then - it is on cctv that I put it into the front pocket of my bag on the front of my hip. I did it soooo obviously that other customers would have seen also because I had nowhere else to put the small item!!

I am never going to paint my nails again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Julia xxxxx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

The police wont bother you now I promise! just try and forget abouyt it, i know its horrible and embarassing and just try and put it out of your mind.

 

[kalia]

Why don't supermarket trolleys have somewhere you can put small items without them falling through?!?

Maybe write to the supermarket saying that you were embarassed and sad about the incident. Suggest that they should put sections in their trolleys for small items rather than banning loyal customers. Explain that you normally spend thousands there each year and this must have happened to others to so rather than losing the custom of whole families it may be cheaper to put a bit of plastic on part of the trolleys. Send it to head office so they can get annoyed with the store for losing them lots of money!

If you shop somewhere else for a year you will likely keep going to the other supermarket. As a result of them banning you for a nail varnish worth a couple of pounds they will lose hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds of profit from you over time. It's called cutting off your nose to spite your face - they wanted to show a big reaction and now make less profit.

 

[Julia]

Thanks - I really appreciate your replies...

You have spoken alot of sense, Kalia. I will write to them and inform them that I will never go there again (never mind a twelve month ban). I will never go to any of their stores again and I will also never get petrol from them again! Myself and my husband spend about £370 per month in there but I will take my business elsewhere. All for a £2 nail varnish...

Going to forget about it because otherwise it will start to drive me insane!!!!!!!! I am also going to try to get pregnant again this month so that it the last thing I want to be thinking about!

Thanks for all your help and support!!! Very much appreciated....

Julia xxxx

 

[michaels]

I spoke with my brother today, he works for a certain supermarket as a store manager. I told him what happened and he couldn't believe it.

First, opening a product in the store and then paying for it is NOT illegal. It's absolutely fine as long as the product is paid for. Of course some supermarkets don't like it but that's irrelevant. The reason that the store will never stop anyone inside the store is that as long as you are in there, you have not stolen. In fact, you could put 100 products into your pockets and they will still wait for you to leave first. If you open something then it's not a problem as long as it's paid for.

Second, unless you are a habitual shoplifter they only call the police if you steal more than £80 worth of product. The police themselves only give an £80 fine anyway. Below this figure the shop will just put a ban order in place.

Third, a ban order: they write down your name but do not take any pictures or anything. They'll probably send a letter to confirm. Normally, after 2 months the store will have forgotten it and most people come back anyway. If you explain your situation you'll get it rescinded.

Fourth, if you spend regularly at the shop, speak to the store manager because for the sake of a couple of pounds he does not want to lose your custom. He also doesn't want you to tell others of your experience and stop them shopping there. Most likely he will offer you free lipstick for life to come back

My brother laughed at the story and said that if this happened in his store he'd be very upset. He quoted the phrase "one unhappy customer will tell ten others". Unless someone obviously a criminal he'll just make sure that the item is paid for.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Hey, your story bugged me! Don't places get that mistakes happen! It i SO easy to accidently not pay for something!! I'd definately explain your side and do as others have said and point out all the custom they've lost.

But don't let it worry you, you know you're not a thief, we know it and i'm sure the security guards knew it too really. Grrrrrr on your behalf!!!