Third time in a row :-(

[Daley]

Oh Hun, I've just seen this. Sending you a big hug, really sorry for your loss. You will have your rainbow baby soon, I'm sure xxx

 

[Natalilly1288]

Xxxxxxxxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh gosh im so sorry to see you in here again hun, you have absolutely the right attitude , you will do this througth your cast iron perserverance , and well all be here waiting with you to celebrate xxxx

 

[Lozzaste]

Thank you. It's been a week since the ERPC and I'm feeling better. Test almost back to negative so I will be back on the TTC train in a few weeks!
I lit a candle for my three last night as part of the wave of light. I found that comforting. Xx

 

[Daley]

Me too Hun. Hope your feeling better soon. See you in the TCC section soon x

 

[Lozzaste]

Daley, you'll see me there in a couple of weeks hopefully!
I hope you're doing ok? Has everything gone back to normal for you? Xx

 

[MissyCumming]

Couldnt read and not respond. Big big hugs Lozzaste, sending you love and strength to get through this. xx

 

[Lozzaste]

Thank you xxxxxxxx

 

[Clementine]

Hi Lozzaste, I'm new to the site and your post struck a chord, I'm sorry you have had to go through this 3 times. I got pregnant Sep 2012 and had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks - baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks, we were disappointed but thought that Mother Nature knows best, we got pregnant again in June of this year I was a bit worried initially so at 8 weeks we got our first scan & heard the exciting news that we were expecting non identical twins & we could see the little heartbeats, we told friends & family and as I'm 41 & we don't have any other children everyone was very excited & said we had a ready made family, sadly when we went back for our next scan both baby beans had no heartbeats. I went in for another D&C the next day. The consultant was lovely and the procedure was ok, but it's a weird feeling. Prior to meeting my husband 3 years ago I never imagined having my own kids - I loved friends children & my nieces & nephews, but I am surprised how attached you get to a baby bean in 10 to 12 weeks. I'm trying not to over think things as I'll be 42 soon we are trying again straight away. My consultant has done all the tests & he doesn't think it's age related and as we got pregnant quickly he thinks it's just bad luck. I'm an optimistic person so fingers crossed we will all get happy outcomes in the future. I believe what's for you doesn't pass you.

 

[Lozzaste]

I'm sorry to hear that clementine. The last one actually prompted me into some action. I was utterly miserable in my job (to the point it was making me ill) and I was so stressed about TTC.
I decided that I was done with being miserable so I found a new job which I start in January. Clearly that took some consideration because it would mean putting off a baby for a good while as I'm the sole breadwinner. That actually gave me some welcome relief from the whole TTC thing.
I know our situations aren't the same but you find a strange sense of strength to carry on and not lose hope. I don't believe that after 3 it's simply bad luck so I've been referred to a specialist unit in Birmingham. I won't TTC until I know if there is a reason. I can't go blindly into that again, I don't think I could take the pain again. If I know there are risks or I'm wrong and it IS just bad luck then I will make an educated decision at at least know what it is we are facing.
I really wish you all the best and I'm sure you will get your rainbow baby yet never forget the ones you lost xx

 

[Clementine]

Thanks Lozzaste, I'll never forget my little angel baby beans. (My user name is actually the name I had called my first baby bean before I realised they were gone). I think going through what we have gives you inner strength & it has definitely made me realise that Im stronger than I thought. Congrats on the new job from past experience I know how draining it is to be in a stressful job. Cos of my age after my 2nd MMC my consultant agreed to do the tests as I also wanted to try & get as much knowledge before TTC again, I was shocked when I realised that it's normally after 3, as the emotional toll is hard enough after going through it once. For me tests haven't flagged a cause but my consultant has still recommended that I take baby aspirin & progesterone pessaries if I get a positive HPT. Wishing you all the best xL

 

[Lozzaste]

Hi, thank you. I also was tested after mmc #2 as we almost lost our daughter, we had three threatened mcs at 5,8 and 13 weeks and also an extremely scary time after the 20wk scan when we were told she had a fatal condition. (After numerous MRIs etc we found she actually did have something but it wasn't fatal. She's two now and doing absolutely amazing)
So, I'm the same as you in that sense, I don't have any answers but I want some. I'm sure there is way more that can be done to see what's going on but sadly miscarriage is in no way a priority for the NHS. It's just seen as "one of those things".
I did take progesterone pessaries last time, just not the aspirin at the recommendation of my doctor. Obviously for me, it didn't work and that doesn't seem to have been the problem which just makes it harder to get my head around.
I would advise you to keep pushing for answers but try at the same time, which I'm sure you are doing.
Please keep me posted and I likewise xx