The right time?

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by M1chelle, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. M1chelle

    M1chelle Well-Known Member

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    So my hubby and I have been planning TTC for a number of years to get me (and us, really) to a point in our careers where I can comfortably afford to have a baby and without it negatively affecting my career progression. It has been great trying but now I've just started my new job and part of me now wants to wait until I'm settled in and working properly and I always have that fear that I'll be a burden on the rest of my team. There are only three others so I will definitely be! I'm not going to stop TTC but I do feel torn about it at times. There just has to be a time when you put yourself first.

    Has this affected many of you?
     
  2. MrsLaw

    MrsLaw Well-Known Member

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    Can I ask why you are worrying about burdening your team? Having a baby I believe is a woman's right and whilst your new team will be pressured if you were to go on maternity leave, they will be have to be supportive and will probably be happy for you anyway. If you and your hubby feel you are ready then I say continue to TTC. So many couples end up spending time trying to gage the right time to have a baby and then find the actual process takes more time than expected and it becomes a cycle where it just doesn't happen?. My advice would be to keep TTC but the decision is always down to you though, and what's a priority to you. good luck!!
     
  3. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I found out Id be moving teams in November. We were already trying.

    My partner has been covering my desk for a year before I moved over.

    I found out I was pregnant in January and moved teams February. I was nervous telling my partner bt actually she was thrilled.

    As its a planned absense your employer should get cover for you.

    But mainly, Id never stop ttc for work unless it were totally uncovenient. I would never get tha level of considertion from an employer. You cant put your life on hold for a job, you work to pay bills, thts it. Its every womens right too.

    Imo there is never "a right time".

    Good luck on what you decide though.

    xxxx
     
  4. M1chelle

    M1chelle Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies and great to hear your perspectives. Yes I am continuing TTC but it is funny how the mind works.

    The team have already been pretty pressured before I arrived due to being undermanned and they were looking forward to a bit of slack and as my plans won't give them that, I feel bad!! But it is absolutely the right time for me and my husband so I need to just do it. Like you say, there will never be the perfect time!
     
  5. Little_Pip

    Little_Pip Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel. I didn't TTC until I was a year into my new job and have proven myself. Yes, it is our right to be pregnant but if you've ever covered for anyone properly, you'd know how much work it is so I did feel bad. More importantly though, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to function properly even during the pregnancy itself.

    Thing is though, there is never the right time and most people will work til retirement and if you wait til then, you'll never have a baby;) also, who is to say the first try will work? You never know how long it'll take too so I say try away;)
     
  6. M1chelle

    M1chelle Well-Known Member

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    They've got plans for me for the end of the year which I almost certainly wont be able to fulfil if I'm pregnant by then.. Why can't it just be easy?? It will be a good opportunity if I'm not though so I've always got the bright side to look on if TTC is slower than hoped!
     
  7. sammielou

    sammielou Well-Known Member

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    I lost interest in my job as soon as I started TTC over two years ago. I remember filling out my performance appraisal and personal development plan that year, making up a load of rubbish about what my career plans were, all the while knowing my one and only secret objective was 'Get Pregnant and hand in my notice'. It made every day at work such a drag, and the misery of every failed cycle worsened by looking at the calander and adding on another month of work that I didn't want.

    Seriously - your problem is a good one to have! You are more likely to succeed TTC if you aren't pinning your entire future on it happening immediately.
     
  8. M1chelle

    M1chelle Well-Known Member

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    That's an interesting perspective sammieou, thank you. As expected, AF arrived a few days ago and I'm pretty sure we won't get a chance this month, so I'm already looking towards April.. I have got a goal of TTC before September now as that is when a key part of my work will kick in that I don't want to be/can't be a part of if I am pregnant. So fingers crossed.

    I am not sure of your situation now, but thanks again and I wish you luck with your journey xx
     

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