The only thing on my mind

[EFAR]

How on earth do I stop thinking about my miscarriage and my stupid HCG levels and when I'm going to get my period
Is this normal?
I think I've cried almost everyday in the last 3 weeks since it happened
I feel like others are handling it better and I don't know how to
All I have to do is see something remotely baby related and I'm really down again
I feel like everyone around me just thinks I should kind of move on

It's strange because I want to talk to most people about it when I thought I'd want to hide it from everyone
Am I alone?
I thought I was stronger than this

 

[TORino]

You poor love. Be kind to yourself. It’s still early days.

I felt the same when I had a mc..y hubby wanted to put it behind us and I wanted to talk to people about it. It gets easier eventually.

Lots of people have miscarriages and then go on to have a successful next pregnancy. The odds are in your favour. Xx

 

[candymycandy]

You are strong. Crying and being affected doesn’t make you weak. What you’ve been through is massive and you’re dealing with it in a totally appropriate way. I know some women who get over it within a few days, don’t take time off work etc. Whereas my first mc I was off work for a month because it sent me into a depression. It can indeed consume your every waking thought, but I promise things get easier. Really hope you get your rainbow baby soon. Look after yourself and take all the time you need x

 

[BunnyN]

Honestly I cried every day for the first couple of months. For the first weeks it was just about all I thought about and I was crying inside even when I smiled and looked normal to others. I think around 3 to 4 weeks after was the very worst time for me. The first few days I was just in a kind of numb shock. It only seemed to fully sink in for me about 3 weeks after which seemed to be about the time everyone else around me was getting back to their normal routine and had stopped asking me how I was coping. I was incredibly miserable and lonely. From there it got gradually better. Eventually I had moments in the day i would forget about the MC and feel happy. Then I would remember again with a jolt. As time went by I found myself spending more time thinking about other things and it wasn't quite so crushing when I remembered. I really only began feeling like myself again about 5 months after. Although I was desperate to feel better part of me was terrified that feeling better would mean I had forgotten my baby. Over two years on I can say I will never forget. The experience has changed me forever, not all in bad ways. The loss with always be felt and I cry occasionally but I don't get that crushing sadness anymore. I even have memories from the pregnancy that make me smile like the day I got my bfp.

Huge hugs and I promise it does get better.

 

[xMillie]

How on earth do I stop thinking about my miscarriage and my stupid HCG levels and when I'm going to get my period
Is this normal?
I think I've cried almost everyday in the last 3 weeks since it happened
I feel like others are handling it better and I don't know how to
All I have to do is see something remotely baby related and I'm really down again
I feel like everyone around me just thinks I should kind of move on

It's strange because I want to talk to most people about it when I thought I'd want to hide it from everyone
Am I alone?
I thought I was stronger than this

It is really hard and it's totally normal to feel sad/upset/frustrated. It's so hard to just forget about and move on! Ill be honest and say its been 7 months since I miscarried and I still have days where it really drags me down and I have a good cry. Everyone is different of course.

While I was going through it all it helped finding ladies on here who were going/have gone through the same thing.

It does get a lot easier. Its just takes time. It's still early days. Hope your rainbow bfp isn't too far away, wishing you all the baby dust in the world for when you are ready to try again xx

 

[EFAR]

Honestly I cried every day for the first couple of months. For the first weeks it was just about all I thought about and I was crying inside even when I smiled and looked normal to others. I think around 3 to 4 weeks after was the very worst time for me. The first few days I was just in a kind of numb shock. It only seemed to fully sink in for me about 3 weeks after which seemed to be about the time everyone else around me was getting back to their normal routine and had stopped asking me how I was coping. I was incredibly miserable and lonely. From there it got gradually better. Eventually I had moments in the day i would forget about the MC and feel happy. Then I would remember again with a jolt. As time went by I found myself spending more time thinking about other things and it wasn't quite so crushing when I remembered. I really only began feeling like myself again about 5 months after. Although I was desperate to feel better part of me was terrified that feeling better would mean I had forgotten my baby. Over two years on I can say I will never forget. The experience has changed me forever, not all in bad ways. The loss with always be felt and I cry occasionally but I don't get that crushing sadness anymore. I even have memories from the pregnancy that make me smile like the day I got my bfp.

Huge hugs and I promise it does get better.

Felt the exact same! At the start it wasn't so bad I guess I was numb too and couldn't believe it and I was being strong for everyone else and I also didn't know anything about HGC levels and how long it would take to try again.
As time went on it hit me more . Thanks for your post it has helped to know I'm not just being over sensitive or abnormal.
I was ecstatic when I got my BFP too and the loss has made me more appreciate of the time I had my pregnancy symptoms etc.

Thank you xxxx

 

[EFAR]

How on earth do I stop thinking about my miscarriage and my stupid HCG levels and when I'm going to get my period
Is this normal?
I think I've cried almost everyday in the last 3 weeks since it happened
I feel like others are handling it better and I don't know how to
All I have to do is see something remotely baby related and I'm really down again
I feel like everyone around me just thinks I should kind of move on

It's strange because I want to talk to most people about it when I thought I'd want to hide it from everyone
Am I alone?
I thought I was stronger than this

It is really hard and it's totally normal to feel sad/upset/frustrated. It's so hard to just forget about and move on! Ill be honest and say its been 7 months since I miscarried and I still have days where it really drags me down and I have a good cry. Everyone is different of course.

While I was going through it all it helped finding ladies on here who were going/have gone through the same thing.

It does get a lot easier. Its just takes time. It's still early days. Hope your rainbow bfp isn't too far away, wishing you all the baby dust in the world for when you are ready to try again xx

I Think that's the thing. . After a couple of weeks everyone thinks you're fine I'm not surprised it still affects you 7 months after it's so life changing . I suppose if you haven't been through it yourself you wouldn't know.
Thanks for posting - you're right reading others' experiences has helped a lot xx
Thank you xx

 

[Pinkz]

Sounds just like me. I felt so strong for everyone when I had the hospital appointments and really stiff upper lipped when the nurse gave me the news. I felt sorry for them having such a crap job! Then a few weeks later when my HCG wouldn't go down and I just wanted it all to be over I cracked. I had painted the smile on for too long, I ran out of strength and couldn't sleep because I would sit and just cry all night... I would sneak out the room and go to the furthest away room in the house so I could cry without my husband hearing. I couldn't get out of bed. When I did I would cry in the toilets at work. It was a truly awful time. It DOES get better though... this coming from someone who was so low I did consider checking out more times than I would like to admit.

Am I sad now? Yes. It's my due month and I'm still not pregnant but y'know what... that's ok. I can see how far I've come and it makes me feel a lot better.

Don't feel like you have to bottle things up either. Come here. Have a rant with us lot who are going through the same thing!

Eventually your HCG will be normal. I promise! And the relief you have will be enormous!

 

[Princess81]

I spent a long time crying after I miscarried my first pregnancy. I got pregnant 8 weeks later and now ha e a 6 year old monkey, but I still think of that first pregnancy and feel a pang of sadness. It’s grief, it’s real and it’s a process that you need to allow yourself to go through. x

 

[EFAR]

Sounds just like me. I felt so strong for everyone when I had the hospital appointments and really stiff upper lipped when the nurse gave me the news. I felt sorry for them having such a crap job! Then a few weeks later when my HCG wouldn't go down and I just wanted it all to be over I cracked. I had painted the smile on for too long, I ran out of strength and couldn't sleep because I would sit and just cry all night... I would sneak out the room and go to the furthest away room in the house so I could cry without my husband hearing. I couldn't get out of bed. When I did I would cry in the toilets at work. It was a truly awful time. It DOES get better though... this coming from someone who was so low I did consider checking out more times than I would like to admit.

Am I sad now? Yes. It's my due month and I'm still not pregnant but y'know what... that's ok. I can see how far I've come and it makes me feel a lot better.

Don't feel like you have to bottle things up either. Come here. Have a rant with us lot who are going through the same thing!

Eventually your HCG will be normal. I promise! And the relief you have will be enormous!

That's so sad and I'm so sorry but glad you're doing better xx
I teach so I can't even run off for a cry there's always a pupil calling my name for something. But it's better than being at home where I can cry.
Have 2 pregnant women at work at the moment and kills me to see them.
You'll have another due date to celebrate soon I hope xx thanks for posting x

 

[EFAR]

I spent a long time crying after I miscarried my first pregnancy. I got pregnant 8 weeks later and now ha e a 6 year old monkey, but I still think of that first pregnancy and feel a pang of sadness. It’s grief, it’s real and it’s a process that you need to allow yourself to go through. x

Really? I guess it's a connection and feeling that just stays with you. Happy that you had a successful pregnancy after xxx
Thanks for posting x

 

[Princess81]

How are you doing now? Xx

 

[EFAR]

How are you doing now? Xx

I started what I hope is my period a couple days ago so feeling a bit better about that
Still no negative pregnancy test :/ I'm going to take one next week . A digital one
The cheap ones are still showing a very very faint line
If that's still positive I know I'll be a mess again
I Just want to start trying again
Thanks xx

 

[Princess81]

How are you doing now? Xx

I started what I hope is my period a couple days ago so feeling a bit better about that
Still no negative pregnancy test :/ I'm going to take one next week . A digital one
The cheap ones are still showing a very very faint line
If that's still positive I know I'll be a mess again
I Just want to start trying again
Thanks xx

Yeh the wait must be really frustrating. Be kind to yourself - sometimes it takes longer than we would like xx