Terrified of tearing!

[Annie050408]

Girls, I'd say not to worry because if you listen to the midwife and stop pushing when told you'll greatly minimise your chance of tearing- I did EXACTLY as I was told and only got a minor graze and therefore no stitches. Also if you are that worried about it then get the epidural so you won't feel it if you do tear.

To be honest afterwards you will be in a bit of pain and uncomfortable because of what you've been through but people wouldn't do it more than once if it was that awful and trust me- having your little bub there will keep your mind off the discomfort. X

 

[Momma`Kat]

Pain isnt what bothers me.. its the thought of ruining my sex life LOL

 

[mumofmany]

i would definately say listen to your midwife and do what she says, my 1st 4 children i never even had a graze so no stitches nothing, but with my 5th i had him on induction ward with no midwife there hubby was there, and i got a 2nd/3rd degree tear, when midwife turned up baby was already half out she only caught him, she told me because he was so fast he just shot out, an 8 minute labour from start to finish if that, she basically checked me i was 3cm dilated then she left the curtain and i was pushing. BUt my others were very fast but i was on labour ward and midwife never left me so I had alot of instructions of dont push pant and i do believe it was that. poor hubby had no clue to tell me to pant just holy crap the heads out help. Also afterwards dont do too much about a week after the birth it was snowing so didn't want to drive in it so I walked pushing the pram its a mile to the school so i walked 2 miles and i was in agony afterwards, and i had been fine recovering well. so really take it easy and if you need help with anything ask for it dont do a me and think i can do it alone cause i regretted it afterwards.

 

[midnight]

You def don't want a section, as that's aftercare pain too hun.
I heard a tear is better for healing than a cut, but I really have no experiance there myself

i had a tear and to be honest i had no problems with it at all so this could be right i healed pretty quick and was able to walk sit lie normal without being in pain

 

[PinkPunch]

With DD I didn't really realise the pain of delivering the head at the time and I had 2nd deer tear. I remember putting my hand down and felt her head coming out! Your body opens and stretches to allow the baby to come out so it won't be just coming out of it's normal size. And please don't worry that your bits will be widened lol I thought that too but everything heals and shrinks back to normal!

 

[x.Lilly.x]

I felt the same as you hun, birth didnt scare me but tearing did.
I had a 3rd degree tear, nearly ended up in theatre and 100% honestly I dont even remember tearing.
At the time i was so gone on gas and air and was in alot of pain anyway you dont even feel it when it happens i promise, well I didnt at all.
When they do the stitching you get to have the gas and air and its bareable and im crap with coping with pain.
And look, Im doing it again 18 months later so it cnt be that bad haha.
Youll be fine hun

 

[Pudds86]

Girls, I'd say not to worry because if you listen to the midwife and stop pushing when told you'll greatly minimise your chance of tearing- I did EXACTLY as I was told and only got a minor graze and therefore no stitches. Also if you are that worried about it then get the epidural so you won't feel it if you do tear.

To be honest afterwards you will be in a bit of pain and uncomfortable because of what you've been through but people wouldn't do it more than once if it was that awful and trust me- having your little bub there will keep your mind off the discomfort. X

Oh god no! I dont want an epidural Id rather feel the tear! lol x

 

[Momma`Kat]

I dont want an epidural either, I wanna feel baby come out! Lol

 

[tinkerbell86]

I had a 3rd degree tear and i didn't realise but i agree i think it was the gas and air more than anything!! Apparently they tried to take it away from me and i promised to be a good and not have anymore.....i lied!!!!! lol!!!

I had to go to theatre and be stitched but it's not been too bad - it's been uncomfortable but not like i thought it would!!! Fingers crossed it's all healed ok!!! But my friend who also had a tear said hundreds pay for a designer vagina and we've got it for nothing lol!!!!

Also don't be afraid of the epidural - i had to have 2 within two weeks !! one with fixing my broken ankle (i was 38w+5 and couldn't have any other way of doing the op) and then after i had Harvey as the epidural was safer with the medication i was on for my ankle!!! And i was worried after the horror stories but it hardly hurt and the recovery was fine - i was able to move my leg (as the other was in plaster) within an hour!!!!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

When I had my DD 16 years ago I was induced.....cut a long story short they checked me at 8.12pm I was 5cm Dialated.....she was born at 8.23pm and as I dialated another 5cm within a very short space of time I tore too. But I never felt a thing...everything is so taught anyway you dont realise until they say oh you need a few stitches....honestly try not too worry too much you dont feel it and the stitches afterwards are nothing to worry about either...xx

 

[Countrybumpkin]

I am so scared of tearing, even though they say it doesn't run in the family, all the women in Mum's side have had nasty tears. Plus like Mum (who was the worse) I horse ride and did until well into about 26 / 28 weeks, which means everything stays a little firm and doesn't give the same. I am so scared of giving birth.

I did speak to the MW about it a little on Monday at my appointment and she did say it is very important to listen to the MW and push when told and stop when told to reduce the risks of tearing.

I have to admit i have just order some hypnobirthing CD, anything to try and relaxe me, i will give anything a go at the moment.

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

I know what you mean Cbumpkin its a horrid thought but honestly when everything is stretched to capacity you dont feel a thing....just the recovery afterwards and thats not too bad either! Just stings a bit when you pee and poo lol!

But yeah the hypnobirthing stuff might help anything is worth a try isnt it xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

i have a bit of a fear about the tearing thing too, and i am worried about having stitches for some reason! so pathetic really, but i am a little concerned about the birth and stuff, but ive accepted i absolutely have to do it and am gonna do my best to just get on with it when im there. so hope it isnt too horrid but i agree as long as you listen to midwife your less likely to do damage i think x

 

[Rheych]

well clever me has been watching birthing videos on youtube and i can now say i am also TERRIFIED of tearing or being cut getting on to the perenial massage from tonight while OH is out (is it easy to do on yourself?)

 

[isobel84]

i was cut all the way to my bum n honestly, i didnt know, n i found the contractions in the end was worse then the ring of fire...

 

[isobel84]

and i suggest that u tell your birthing partner to be firm wit u as i didnt listen to mws but i did listen to demba and did what he told me to do, i coulnt even hear the mws.. i love the way he was with me in the last part of noas birth he helped me so much x

 

[Momma`Kat]

Re: Perinial massage

My family nurse said dont bother, Chances are that you will end up bruising/traumatising the flesh before you actually do any good stretching on it.

 

[Rheych]

a woman at my yoga class this morning was saying she would stand up in public to swear by it

i know OH will not be keen on doing it and imagine it's fooking hard on your own

 

[xxbeckyxx]

My OH is well keen on doing it but I really don't want to! I'd rather a nice back rub but for some reason that doesn't appeal to him as much

 

[tinkerbell86]

I didn't know I tore either I think your concentrating so much on the baby you don't think about anything else!I must admit its sore but nothing like what I thought!the hospital stay was more painful for me as I just wanted to go home!