Termination

[Flossy82]

Hi all well i dont know why im even putting this because i can never really feel or understand what most of you may have been through but here goes 5 years ago now i found out that i was pregnant and i admit that i was a complete shock as i was so young at the time but in someways i was happy about it and really wanted to go through with the pregnancy but who i was with at the time his parents were like really happy one moment as were my parents and then all of a sudden everything seemed to change he was the same aswell telling me one thing and saying another after both parent had been in discussion one evening they all (inc my ex) decided that it was best for me to terminate the pregnancy and that was the end of it i had absolutley no say in the matter. After i had app etc with the docs the day came around for me to go and have the termination and secretley i was in bits i tryed so hard to hide my upset at this but all to soon before i knew it the precious life i had growing inside me was gone and that was it. for days, weeks after this i couldnt forgive them for what they made me do and really at the end of the day im sure thats what put an end to our relationship. but i often sit here and think on each anniversary of what would have been his or hers birthday about what could have been. also thinking today he or she would have been 5yrs old this september. i always think of myself as having 3 pregnancy's that one being the first but then i never got the chance to se what things would have turned out to be like. ( But all in all now i have 2 beautiful children and an adoring o/h but i do often think about this and what it could have been like but there again that i'l never know). Sorry to bore you all there as im sure you dont really want to be listening to me go on about that now. Thanks for listening anyway

 

[rach]

awww hun that must have been awful for you ((((hugs)))) xxxxxxx

 

[Flossy82]

It was at the time rach and there's not a moment that really goes by i dont think about what i did if im honest and it was more upsetting for that decision to be taken away from me and made by everyone else. It was so bad for me at the time that i nearly took an overdose because of it (although i never went through with it) there me stupid talking is now over again Thanks for your reply. -xxx-

 

[Dee1985]

Flossy babe i no how you feel, although now i have forgot about it and dont no the aniversery ect

i had an abortion when i was 17 to my ex boyfriend he was horrlble and a controll freak he hit me and never let me out the house he used to have to read my texts before i could ect it became the normal to me untill he battered me when i was preg for saying hello to a male!
it was so hard but i knew i couldnt bring a child up around him and was to yung to think ild have any support, the abortion really messed me up and took me months to come to terms with it, i then went on to have 2 M/C to my current partner kris, but it didnt hurt me as much as it did knowing i killed my child

 

[Dreamer]

((((hugs))))

 

[Flossy82]

Im sorry for saying all this now but it's something that i had to say and im sorry for burdening you all with something that happened ages ago.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awww babes u were pushed into something u didnt wanna do there is no reason to apologies im sending u loads of ((((hugs)))) and if u ever need to tlk im here

 

[rach]

awww hun dont be sorry we are all here for everyone no matter what the circumstances you felt like you needed to talk about it and if it helps you to do that then get it all out hun its not good to keep things inside what happened was beyond your control (((hugs)))) im so sorry you had to go through this hun xxxxx

 

[violet-glow]

Like dionne my ex partner was a bit of a control freak, he used to drink alot and pretend he hadnt had anything. We were arranging our wedding and had booked mostly everything, when he turned nasty. I was pregnant at the time when he punched me. As soon as he had done that I wanted nothing more to do with him. I new I couldnt keep the baby because that would mean their would always be apart of my ex in my life. I had an abortion, my mum went with me. Without her support I would have sat in my house sobbing all day. But I think of all the great things I have now. I adore my partner and my little boy. I am so happy and now that im pregnant again I know that this baby will get so much love. I dont think about my abortion alot, I do sometimes when looking at my son, wondering what it would have been like. But im a big believer in fate, it just wasnt meant to be. I think it changes you and you look at the world and your life differently. Your not alone hun, and your sooo not a bad person for doing it. I know its hard to forget but its what needs to be done. Take care ((huge hugs)) xx

 

[HayleyB]

I understand what you mean exactly.
I got pregnant when i was 16, my best friend raped me, i wanted to go through with the pregnancy, but my mum talked me out of it (she didn't know how i'd got pregnant) And i decided to have a termination. I still think about her every day, i had a name picked out and everything, and she is still referred to by that name. Every year on her birthday the 12th April i take the day off work cos i can't get through the day without being able to have a big cry about it, and i light a candle. She would've been 7 this year. Christmas and her birthdays are the hardest for me. I find myself blaming my mum, when she was doing what she thought was best. And as my dad doesn't know that my mum was there with me i can't really talk to her about it cos she's scared she'll lose her marriage for keeping it a secret from him. (He knows about it, but he doesn't know that mum took me to the appointment)
I still haven't managed to bring him to justice, as when i reported it the police said "i was an upset little girl, wanting revenge on a man who got me pregnant, nothing more"..... One day I hope I will have the strength to go back and bring justice, that way i feel that my baby will finally be able to rest.

xox

 

[Flossy82]

Oh hunnie im so sorry to hear what had happened to you although i can never begin to think what it must have been like for yourself given your circumstances. if ever at any time you want to talk etc just pm me or e-mail me [email protected] . take care -x-

 

[HayleyB]

Thank you for that hun
It was a long time ago, but i miss my angel everyday, just like you.
You can e-mail/PM me too [email protected]

xox