Telling people...

[splashmonkey]

I think most people in a situation like that will find it more upsetting to find out later that you couldn't tell them becuase of their situation. They might find it painful but I think would rather know than feel like your happiness was affected if that makes sense.

 

[buddabun]

I would too...

 

[niblet]

It's very difficult, but I think it's best to tell her sooner rather than later. Because we were having fertility treatment and had been trying for 3 years, people tip-toed round me a lot and when I got married in October one of my husband's friend's girlfriends dropped out and didn't come at the last minute, saying she was ill. I found out later (much much later, like two weeks ago) it was because she was 5 months pregnant and didn't want to upset me. I found it a lot more upsetting that everyone was keeping their happy news from me, it made me feel all lonely and like an outsider. She might want to have a little cry when she first finds out, but then I'm sure she'll be glad you told her and will be dead chuffed for you. It just hurts a bit at first because it reminds you so much of what you want, but can't have.

 

[buddabun]

Niblet, see previous posts. I did tell her and she was fine about it.

She even brought me flowers

 

[niblet]

Aww, I know! That's lovely! I was replying to Fairy.

 

[buddabun]

Sorry

 

[splashmonkey]

that's ok budda, don't forget we can blame it all on pregnant brain now

 

[fairyM]

Thanks for your advice, I will tell her next week after my scan, i might send a msg(shes not like a best friend, friend)some one at work. I work in a school so we are on half term next week so i wont see her so will have to be a msg. I feel better expressing how i feel in a message.
At the end of the day she will find out so best to be the first to find out at work then pounce on her after half term shoving a pic in her face.
Yes i will do that ...deep breath i can do it!
Whatever her reaction is , will be, i cant change the way she feels.
Thanks everyone

 

[buddabun]

I think you've hit the nail on the head there fairy. A message means she can sit there and cry, or scream or whatever without upsetting you or embarrassing herself. Plus she's not caught off guard by a cute scan pic in front of all her colleagues.

Good luck!!!