telling people.... I told the mother update

[flexilexi394]

Sorry she didn't react well i sometimes think if people are caught unawares they react really strangely and then they realise they shouldn't have, i hope this is one of those times

I've told quite a few people already.. I have had past mcs and i always think it's better to have support.

Hope you're ok xxx

Yeah shes always been a Knee-jerk reacter unfortunately, I am sure she will get over herself in a few days and realise that it's not really up to her!

I am fine because I knew she would react like that and to be honest I expected slightly worse so its all good ha! xx

 

[Siskin]

Jesus, how rude! Well done for just walking out and not engaging with it. Presumably as you said she'll calm down, think it through and apologise later. But really, what a thing to say to you! Families eh?!

 

[russellmuscle]

My mum is like yours Lexi, anytime I mention having another baby it seems to be the worst idea in the world to her. As if its stupid to have a child now even though she had me and my wee brothers younger than me and like 4 year apart. She sometimes doesnt entertain itll happen, ever. That pisses me off tbh because she doats on Jackson. They have such a good relationship.

I told my mum first time round when I was like 6w because I was shitting myself, I thought, what the hell bite the bullet. She took it ok, only because I told her and my dad together. I was 21 and have been with my partner since high school, we had a big enough flat etc. However she then wanted me to tell my auntie who was over from America and I ended up telling everyone early, which now I totally regret. I asked her the week before we got onto the subject - both her and my dad says that they would hope that I would wait because there is more to life, that kind of hurt and upset me at the time, but now I see what they mean. But at the same time, its my life and I live with each sacrifice. Jackson was the best one Ive made, so now their comments dont and wont mean anything now?

It is a very personal thing, some tell family straight away, esp their mum. But if your mums like mine then I get why you might wanna wait. Personally if it were me Id wait then surprise her. You dont need any extra worry than you have up until your scan if she gives you any negative feedback and you can always change your mind. Plus considering people will soon know from 12 weeks on, its nice to have something nice for you both to have during your engagement celebrations also..

I told my mum about my MC, incase she had to be there for J when we were at the hospital, she was fine about that but then she asked if Id get my coil back in and when I says I dunno (not wanting to tell her no) she was like oh so is this your plan now? pop out baby after baby? I says hang on, I have had 1, who is now 3, and I have always lived and looked after myself and I dont need any of your comments right now. She hasnt brought it up since. And I was older than her when she had her first (me at 17 I was 21 with J). Some say they are just worried but I dunno what my mums problem is, shes just so negative.

Next time I wont be telling any family until 12 weeks, keeping it off Facebook and away from immediate friends until like 20w. And no due date either. I learned that first time round.

xxx

I am glad I am not the only one that has a deluded mother!

Well, I just told her.

she replied with "oh god why would you do that" and "i suspect you did that on purpose" and "dont you think youre selfish making your daughter share a room with another child' like I am the only person that has ever had 2 children even though I have a brother lol!!

I said thanks for the well wishes and I walked out. so no doubt I will get an apology later because she knows she has upset me!

Oh well, its done now.

Yeah friends aren't knowing for a while, and i am not making the due date mistake again either!! I had people hounding me every day I went overdue so I will just say "early August" instead of the actual due date!

I don't know if I would announce it even at 12 weeks I reckon I will probably wait til 20 weeks because by then all the important people will know.

Mannnn I feel sick today! nerves and morning sickness setting in i think!! xx

Sorry it didnt go down well hun. We are all stoked for you though I will be like a closed box during pregnancy except on here. I just dont want everyone elses opinions and stuff taking over again? Or my name being stole again. Thats another thing I wont be telling..

Oh god how dare them babies HAVE to share a room lol. We got a 2 bed before TTC1 but just moved to a 2 bed and wont move again for a while yet so our bubs wilo be sharing. Your not the first and wont be the last. I dont understand why such irrelevant comments are made.

My mum told me when I was admiring my pregnant boobs just after my MC "dont get too used to them, theyll be gone soon" I laughed it off bt I was raging. Now I dont rise to nothing because I wont let someone who doesnt concern about my emotions see me get annoyed. Likelyhood she wouldnt care. Its a sad truth for me.

I always vow never to have a relationship with J. Id hate for him to dread tellin me things.

Just keep positive. You and your OH wanted this, your wee girl will love having a sibling and thats all that matters.

xxxx

 

[flexilexi394]

Thanks you two, yeah she is bloody rude Siskin! but to be honest, I know what she is like and I know exactly what to expect of her. She was always a good mum to us as kids but as me and my brother have grown up she lets him get away with murder and I am the bad one all the time which drives me nuts as I have my own business, and all my brother does is smoke a tonne of weed every day!

Oh well, like you say RM we can just make sure that our children have a better relationship with us in the future and not judge and be mean like our mums haha!

On the other hand, fiance told his mum and she is over the moon so thats always nice. xx

 

[Emmam1982]

My mum was very similar Lexi, basically told me to have an abortion and that how would I cope as a single mum when Chris leaves me...also that he won't support me or the baby if we did split up. She's come round to the idea now tho. I was more relieved that she knew so her comments dodnt bother me too much x

 

[russellmuscle]

Its usually MILs that take it bad as thts their precious boys lolol. Thats nice.

Now you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

xxxx

 

[flexilexi394]

Yeah at least some people were happy!! Mothers, eh! She came in last night to say congratulations to Adam so that was nice.

We are going out with her and her boyfriend on Saturday night so I'm sure it's a conversation that will come up!

As for everyone else.... Well I'll tell people as and when xx

 

[umbongo]

Shame she was like that but I guess you expected it. Families can be very odd! My in-laws just don't seem that bothered. They're nice enough but not excited or anything. They're more interested in going on fancy holidays.

 

[russellmuscle]

Shame she was like that but I guess you expected it. Families can be very odd! My in-laws just don't seem that bothered. They're nice enough but not excited or anything. They're more interested in going on fancy holidays.

Sounds like my inlaws. They don't bother but they bother to like buy him clothes or bring him things back from places as if thats quality time.

When OH lived there for a bit they seen him quite alot and posted pics on facebook "look who we have for the weekend" which annoyed me because actually, he was with his dad. Now OH and I are back they never ask, considering they saw him like 3 times a week youd think theyd miss him?

I don't force it anymore, at the begining I was annoyed, because I wanted J to have a good relationship with both grand parents, but I think we all have one side we are closer to? I was closer to my mums mum.

MIL has a habit of asking Jackson at 2 years old "ohhh when am I going to see you overnight?" ummmm how about asking me? she never does. We had a great relationship before, but now we are out the house and grown up shes not interested.

xxxx

 

[YorksLass]

Lexi, what a reaction! I suppose if you knew it would be like that, best to get it done, like ripping off a plaster then you can relax heheh... will she eventually come round to it and be supportive though?
I have our first scan today, and planning to copy the pic for both sets of grandparents if all is well. Will go visit both this weekend and give it to them in the guise of a Christmas card. Have no idea what my folks will say, it's their first grandchild. Was going to wait until Christmas, but I'm showing quite a lot and a few people who see me a lot have already guessed, dammit! X

 

[flexilexi394]

Lexi, what a reaction! I suppose if you knew it would be like that, best to get it done, like ripping off a plaster then you can relax heheh... will she eventually come round to it and be supportive though?
I have our first scan today, and planning to copy the pic for both sets of grandparents if all is well. Will go visit both this weekend and give it to them in the guise of a Christmas card. Have no idea what my folks will say, it's their first grandchild. Was going to wait until Christmas, but I'm showing quite a lot and a few people who see me a lot have already guessed, dammit! X

Hey!! Good luck on your scan! It's incredible you'll love every minute.

Yeah when I was pregnant with Sofia my mum was awfully horrid to me about it and now she loves her to pieces so with any luck a few days will go by and she will get over it. I think once we have had our first scan she will be better about it at that stage because of course it's that much more real.

Xxx

 

[GillM]

I'm sorry it didn't go well I told my own mum today and she was great but my twin sister and my parents in law will be a nightmare with our first my mother in law responded with 'it isn't the way I'd have planned it' despite us being settled and married for 5 years!!! My husband told her in a rush and she went in one of her 'moods' and avoided seeing us for weeks. Even in the day of our 12 week scan she was doing our garden and when we came back didn't ask to see the photo or enquire his we got on. Our son also has additional support needs so he's also never lived quite up to her expectation. My husband is going alone to tell her tonight because if I got another negative reaction there will be no salvaging the relationship my twin sister on the other hand has a 14 year old but has just had the only round of IVF her and her husband (not my nephews dad) can afford which failed so I feel like crap about telling her it's kind of taken the shine off a bit xx

 

[GillM]

Sorry to hear her reaction flexilexi my hubby is going to tell his parents himself as they're reaction with ds1 was upsetting. Despite us being married for 5 years apparently it wasn't what she'd planned for us so avoided us for weeks, refused to talk about the pregnancy and didn't even ask he our scan went even though she was at our house at the time!! Ds1 has additional support needs so he's never quite lived up to her expectations either also dreading telling my twin as although she's got a 14 year old she's just had a round of IVF which resulted in miscarriage and they can't afford any more rounds. Not quite sure his she'll react it's kind if taken the shine off things xx

 

[flexilexi394]

I'm sorry it didn't go well I told my own mum today and she was great but my twin sister and my parents in law will be a nightmare with our first my mother in law responded with 'it isn't the way I'd have planned it' despite us being settled and married for 5 years!!! My husband told her in a rush and she went in one of her 'moods' and avoided seeing us for weeks. Even in the day of our 12 week scan she was doing our garden and when we came back didn't ask to see the photo or enquire his we got on. Our son also has additional support needs so he's also never lived quite up to her expectation. My husband is going alone to tell her tonight because if I got another negative reaction there will be no salvaging the relationship my twin sister on the other hand has a 14 year old but has just had the only round of IVF her and her husband (not my nephews dad) can afford which failed so I feel like crap about telling her it's kind of taken the shine off a bit xx

Blimey if only you could choose your family eh?!

I wonder why people are so negative about babies sometimes? I do wonder if it is a jealousy thing with your Mother In Law? Such a strange response if you are settled and married!

Maybe it is a good thing that your Hubby is going on his own just in case she is mean or something!

I have a few friends in similar IVF positions so it does worry me about telling them to be honest because I really don't want them thinking I have rubbed their face in it or something!

My Mum hasn't mentioned a thing today, I have seen her twice (I am self employed and I rent her garage for the business) so that surprised me as I thought maybe she would have said something by now but no.

I haven't told my Dad yet either, he was told by my mum last time but that day that I told my mum my dad told her he was divorcing her so there's a little bit of anxiety there as well I think as last time it was just so negative!!
xx

 

[YorksLass]

Hey!! Good luck on your scan! It's incredible you'll love every minute.

Yeah when I was pregnant with Sofia my mum was awfully horrid to me about it and now she loves her to pieces so with any luck a few days will go by and she will get over it. I think once we have had our first scan she will be better about it at that stage because of course it's that much more real.

Xxx

Thanks - scan was a weird experience, but in the best way
Hope your mum comes round sooner rather than later and enjoys it with you!

 

[flexilexi394]

Hey!! Good luck on your scan! It's incredible you'll love every minute.

Yeah when I was pregnant with Sofia my mum was awfully horrid to me about it and now she loves her to pieces so with any luck a few days will go by and she will get over it. I think once we have had our first scan she will be better about it at that stage because of course it's that much more real.

Xxx

Thanks - scan was a weird experience, but in the best way
Hope your mum comes round sooner rather than later and enjoys it with you!

Yeah it is pretty surreal isn't it!!

Thank you, I am sure we will talk it out saturday night xx