Struggling to cope after third miscarriage.

[Els_29]

I have recently miscarried my third baby at the age of 29. This miscarriage was the worst for a few reasons, I had a scan the day before I miscarried and all was good, when I miscarried it was the worst in terms of pain and blood loss. I then developed an infection and had to have an operation. I feel so angry that I had to go through the is again, why me??
To make things worse I have two pregnant sisters and I barely find the motivation to get up in the morning.
Everyone says time will heal but how can it, I've lost three babies. If anyone has any advice on how to get through this it'd be much appreciated,

 

[laurat]

Im so sorry for your loss! One mc is horrendous never mind 3. My heart goes out to you. I know there are a good few women on here who have been in your situation and have gone on to get their healthy bean.

Are they sending you for tests and to a recurrent mc clinic as you should be referred now. I know that may not seem a positive just now but it means that you are getting some answers and if there is a reason this has happened eg thyroid or clotting issues then knowing and getting some medication or help as soon as you know your pregnant could be the key. If you havent been referred when you feel stron enough then push to be investigated.

 

[Hopeful75]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I've had four and, whilst it never ever gets easier, you do get through it and get back to functioning normally (at least on the surface). Make sure you take the time to grieve, find comfort in your oh and when you are ready, get your doctor to refer you to a recurrent miscarriage clinic.
Big hugs - if you want any info about the tests or anything, just ask- there are a few lovely ladies on here who have suffered the same and we're all here for support.

 

[Cosmogirl7]

Aw Els I'm so sorry for your losses, it's just crap!! I as well have had 3 miscarriages and it's heartbreaking and soul destroying, especially when it seems to happen to those around you so easily. I agree that you should defs push for recurrent mc tests. I had them done after my 3rd and have discovered I have a blood clotting problem which could be affecting things. Having that wrong with me is making me feel a lot more positive about ttc again and my next pregnancy being ok as I know and dr says we can treat it.

Good luck and hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[Clementine]

Hi Els29 I'm so sorry you have lost your baby for a 3rd time. I have had 2 MMC's at 11 weeks and 10weeks, the 2nd time I was expecting twins we saw great heartbeats at 8weeks but at 10weeks they both had no heartbeats. Like you I found it much harder to deal with as I thought everything was ok. It is crap and does seem very unfair and I felt upset, angry, disappointed however I coped by deciding that Mother Nature knows best and that perhaps my little baby beans just weren't strong enough to make the journey. Give yourself time to grieve and then like the others said request you get all the recurrent miscarriage tests they check for clotting disorder, thyroid function, other immune related tests and also your hormone levels. Take care and stay strong xxx

 

[Els_29]

Thank you so much to you all for your kind words.
I was referred to a recurrent miscarriage unit and was told nothing was wrong even though they didn't do any tests. I have now been referred to another hospital and for counselling.
I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply to my post.
I wish all you ladies the best xx

 

[MissyD]

Your story is so similiar to mine, i too am 29 and just had a third miscarriage a few weeks ago. Its heartbreaking i know.
I know people are tying to help by offering there advice such as times a healer and don't give up hope. I honestly find this unbearable. A lady in my office announced her pregnancy the other day i was gutted. You want to feel happy for people but cant help feeling a little jealous.
I actually found my last pregnancy nerve racking, i envied everyone that was enjoying it as deep down i new that it wouldn't last.
It's a sad place to be and Counselling sounds like it will be good for you.
Take care of yourself and focus on you for now x

 

[Lozzaste]

Hi. I had three miscarriages in 18 months. It was really really hard, mine were at just under 12 weeks for two of them at discovered at 7 weeks for the last. At that stage I did feel it was hopeless, and I didn't want to try again. However, life had other plans and I'm now 24 weeks, which has been very scary and still is, but I'm proof it can happen. I also had two chemical pregnancies in that time so essentially five miscarriages later!
Take the time you need to heal and I wish you the best of luck xxxxxxx