Still waking in the night.

[Freya]

I know this is not going to be a popular answer but here goes.

Have you tried not feeding and letting them cry themselves back to sleep (controlled crying) or whatever it is. It worked for me with my daughter we had 2 bad nights and then she slept through. I would only do this on children who are older than 6 months though!!

 

[Hypnorm]

I might try it but it would have to be when my hubby is away on nights as otherwise he gets up early around 5-6am and has a lot of driving to do so i don't think he'd appreciated afew hours of crying. i'm trying to reduce the amount of milk i'm giving him at night , he was having 8oz now he os down to 6oz,

Little sod woke 2x last night.

 

[Freya]

Yes I understand that problem it is difficult when OH works - mine drives 1 1/2 hours to work and somehow I feel than men cope less well with

a) a child crying
b) lack of sleep.

It is really difficult because 5 mins of crying feels like 5 hours (if you do the go in and sooth thing starting at 5 mins, then 10 etc.) BUT I promise you it will be worth it in the end!! I think that woman of tiny tearaways uses this approach as well.

Good luck let us know how you get on.

 

[Lucy]

Hi Freya

Can I ask you a question about the controlled crying you did with your daughter? Did you use a dummy to soothe her? My HV has advised me to do controlled crying with Olivia but I am confused whether you can use a dummy or not?

Thanks

Lucy

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

tried it and he just refused to sleep he slept at day and not at nite and was advised by HV to stop as it was making me ill lol

last nite he went down at 7 very early for him woke up at 12 had some milk n went bck till 6 so not ot bad made a great change lol

 

[honey7733]

i was also advised by the health visitor to try controlled crying, which i did and everytime i went in the room she cried more and for longer. the hv then advised me not too go in the room unless her cries where really bad (ie.. starting to to get hysterical or a pain cry etc) so after two nights of crying for 1 hour max, Danielle started sleeping through.

although at 8 months she started to wake once a night for milk, i was then advised to let her settle herself, she had her dummy. again this only took 2 nights of crying for about 20 mins.

she is now sleeping from 8pm til 6am she has a bottle and comes in bed with me for a cuddle til 8am ish.

i really feel for all you ladies that are having broken sleep. hope this helps

 

[Urchin]

Brody is now better at GETTING to sleep alone, last night he was asleep in his cot from 8.30 till 1am. Trouble is, at 1am, if I let him cry he'll wake Mason and OH up, Mason gets upset etc.

I worry that by letting him cry he gets scared that I'm not going to come back. He cries for about 5 mins, then I go in and bring him into our room. Big mistake I know.

 

[emilia]

Brody is now better at GETTING to sleep alone, last night he was asleep in his cot from 8.30 till 1am. Trouble is, at 1am, if I let him cry he'll wake Mason and OH up, Mason gets upset etc.

I worry that by letting him cry he gets scared that I'm not going to come back. He cries for about 5 mins, then I go in and bring him into our room. Big mistake I know.

I'm also having this "catch22" situation. I don't really want to leave O to cry, but I never seem to get the chance anyway. DH needs his sleep and ME TOO.... I haven't got the energy to sit up all night NOT feedling. The easiest thing for me to do, is to feed him whilst beside me.

Last night was a shocker! Oscar honestly grazed all night and when he wasnt doing that, he was just lying there moaning! I found it a bit stressful, because DH needs his sleep!
Beanie has suggested a couple of sites for "No Cry Sleep Solutions". Might be worth google-ing for it too.

Oscar is asleep now - should be for a couple of hours at least ... even 1 hour will do!!

Emilia xx

 

[Urchin]

I know what you mean Emilia.
For now I am concentrating on getting Brody to sleep on his own in his own room. Hopefully when that's done he will be better able to get to sleep from his night-wakings.


I bet some people are reading this thread thinking we are right nutters and should just let them cry it out, but that's not for me I'm afraid.

 

[Hypnorm]

I bet some people are reading this thread thinking we are right nutters and should just let them cry it out, but that's not for me I'm afraid.

Nor me, if he cries for a little while, but some times he will get hysterical. So i just tend to feed him,

Last night he woke at 1 and he had 5oz then he woke really suddenly and screaming at about 4, so i just went in and he was stood up, so i picked him up and he instantly fell asleep on my shoulder... so laid him back down and he was fine till 8 this am.

Wonder if if he is starting to have night terrors, he really screamed loud last night, gave me a fright too!!

 

[Jadie]

oliver has settled down now and only woke once the last two nights. but i dont think i could leave him to cry either. i have tried it but it just cauesd a fight between me and dh as he needed his sleep too get up for work.

 

[Freya]

OK - In answer to you Lucy my daughter sucked her thumb so we didn't have a dummy for her. (I am a mean mummy because we stopped her sucking her thumb at 2!!) BUT I dont whether I would see if she could get to sleep alone or put the dummy in. I think I would start by putting the dummy in.

OK now really unpopular bit (So sorry not trying to be judgemental honest!!!) I know it is really hard to do controlled crying especially when you have another child or a husband who needs sleep. Can your other children stay somewhere overnight or something.

I honestly believe that for me two/three nights of no sleep is better than however long of feeding a child in the night. Will the problem sort it sef out on its own? If so when? But this is only a personal opinion and I know that I am not always right. Dr Tanya Bryant from tiny tearaways seems to use this approach a lot for children who wake in the night or find it difficult sleeping.

Sarah how long ago did you try controlled crying with son and have you thought about doing it again?? Cruel mum that I am I would try my hardest to stop B from falling asleep in day!! But every child/parent is different.

 

[Dee1985]

i have never had to do controled crying with Harley thank god, maybe im just lucky??

but with Dior she used to cry about being alone in the end i done controlled crying it was hard work but worked in the end.

i watched on a baby show that by doing controlled crying its not good as it can break the bond between mother and baby. as baby looses trust in mummy?????

i dont agree though it worked a treat for me my babies love me
and i have a 18month old sleeping 14hrs a night and 4month old sleeping 13hrs a night

not bragging though, just saying that you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes

 

[Freya]

OK just had a thought about this - feel like I am harping on now sorry!!

I would think that children who are 1 should be getting enough food in day so that they don't need feeding in the night!! I understand what people are saying about not likin their children cying but here is a quik question/analogy for you.

Are your going to give you child sweets every time they cry in a shop?? Are you always going to give into them because it is easier?? (I do sometimes again not trying to be judgemental honestly!!) You probably have answered no to those questions so why do you feel that you have to GIVE IN TO THEM at night to the detrement of yourself. I think you have to teach children certain behavious if they cant do them themselves. Just my opinion!!

 

[beanie]

Brody is now better at GETTING to sleep alone, last night he was asleep in his cot from 8.30 till 1am. Trouble is, at 1am, if I let him cry he'll wake Mason and OH up, Mason gets upset etc.

I worry that by letting him cry he gets scared that I'm not going to come back. He cries for about 5 mins, then I go in and bring him into our room. Big mistake I know.

I'm also having this "catch22" situation. I don't really want to leave O to cry, but I never seem to get the chance anyway. DH needs his sleep and ME TOO.... I haven't got the energy to sit up all night NOT feedling. The easiest thing for me to do, is to feed him whilst beside me.

Last night was a shocker! Oscar honestly grazed all night and when he wasnt doing that, he was just lying there moaning! I found it a bit stressful, because DH needs his sleep!
Beanie has suggested a couple of sites for "No Cry Sleep Solutions". Might be worth google-ing for it too.

Oscar is asleep now - should be for a couple of hours at least ... even 1 hour will do!!

Emilia xx

Emilia, what were your other 2 like at Oscar's age. Do you think that some babies sleep through and other's don't? I have been doing quite a bit of reading around the No Cry Sleep solution and it does look pretty good. It is more for older children (about 1) but there might be some tips in there that you could use for Oscar. We had a much better night last night, Seren woke up at 3, and again at 7 so I think her frequent waking last week was due to her teeth, poor bab.

I am thinking that perhaps Seren isn't one of those children that sleep at night. Am ok as long as its like last night If I give her some water she has a slurp then sleep, same as if I offer her the boob. I think it may in part be thirst and its just as easy for me to give her boob then water

 

[Freya]

i watched on a baby show that by doing controlled crying its not good as it can break the bond between mother and baby. as baby looses trust in mummy?????

Yes I have heard something about this too - but like you say Dionne you have to be cruel to be kind for everyones benefit. Sometimes life is tough and tears need to be shed before things get better.

Also what did women do years ago when they had much larger families with children close together?? i would suggest they were definately cruel to be kind!! My mum stopped feeding me during the night at 6 weeks (a bit harsh!!) she just popped a dummy in my mouth instead. Do I still love her Oh yes yes yes yes we have a very close bond. In fact I live 2 minutes away from her. If you think that your child will stop loving you because you let it cry for a long time you are going to have a very very hard guilt riden road ahead of you!!!

 

[Tara & Liam]

we tried controlled crying but i cant stand it. i think its the same as eating, i would not force liam to eat and i am not going to force him to sleep. we have put the boys the same way for all three. kieran slept from 6 weeks, joshua 3 years and that was a hard 3 years most of the time waking 3 - 4 times a night. liam wakes once really.

we tried controlled crying last night and he pulled himself up and then fell over and shocked himself which made him sob.

i would rather be kind then cruel

 

[Hypnorm]

If i leave ewan to scream he will get in such a state, he stands up so i have to go in anyway as he hasn't figured out how to lie himself down again, if he is just wimpering then i will just listen to him,
But i won't leave him to scream, and make him self sick, thats just not kind and baby doesn't know.

Controlled crying can work but i would rather find something less harsh.
Babies cry for a reason not just to keep you awake

 

[Tara & Liam]

i dont mind it now, i am quite prepared to go another 3 years with liam. we dont let it go further than tha. joshua knows how it is for bed time. he goes to bed quite happily at 7.30, then its story time and sleep. sometimes he goes asleepin our bed then we transfer him over, but more often than not he sleeps in his own bed.

we did have some tears at one point keeping him in bed, but overall he has been fine.

anyway just think of the revenge when they are teenagers.

 

[Lucy]

I'm sorry in advance, I have my brother staying with us this week on holiday so I have limited internet time......

Beanie - do you have any links to sleep solution websites that have helped Seren? I'd love to read up on that

Freya & Honey, I guess I am half cruel mummy as well because I *think* I will be able to do the controlled crying if these sleepless nights continue. Basically with my brother staying I wont do CC this week but if I'm still up 4/5 times a night on Sunday then I will seriously consider doing it. Any tips? If they wake during the night did you go in at all or just leave them to cry?
I asked my Mum if she did CC with her kids (she has eight) and said to a degree she did it with all of them at various ages.

THanks

Lucy