Starting to panic.......

[littlemonkey]

I no doubt sound utterly ridiculous but I'm really starting to panic about having this baby.

When I had my son, he was born by emergency section and I then went onto have a difficult recovery. This was mainly due to my own naivety about recovery and trying to be super woman. My son was also hard work due to having reflux and crying a lot. He also never napped much in the day. With everything I ended up with PND and the first few weeks of my son's life were really dark days.

I'm terrified of it all happening again and that I won't be able to cope. I tell myself again and again, that having been through it all, I know what to expect, I'm a much more confident mother this time. I also know my own warning signs in respect of the depression and I'm not afraid to ask for help. Every one also reassures me of the same, but I'm still terrified of history repeating.

Does anyone else feel the same or is it just me?!

 

[Jessiecat]

I'm only going to repeat what you already put so im sorry if it's no help at all but I agree with you that this time round you are so much better prepared!
I really struggled after my son but I wanted to keep the house clean, still make nice dinners and be a perfect housewife dispite barely seeing my pillow for weeks on end. I also had a section and I tried to ignore the fact that i'd just had major surgery. This time I wil not punish myself if the washings not done or we end up having a take away because I havn't made dinner. I think the biggest thing for me though is knowing that my family is already established so this baby (and I mean this in a loving way) will have to fit in with us and not the other way round. What I mean by that is at 10 to 9 every morning we HAVE to be dressed, fed and ready to take my son to school, same again at 3pm. We have to eat dinner between 5-6 because my son needs feeding and if im already doing one bedtime routine at 7pm it will be easire to just put the other in the bath and pjs at the same time. The point being, you already have a routine so your LO will adapt and you will keep that control. I think this is what will keep me sane, last time I lived my life around the baby, obviously that will still happen to a certain degree as baby's need a lot from you but my routine is already there and I think that will make things a lot easier.

 

[littlemonkey]

Jessiecat, you've described in so many ways what I was like, trying to still carry on like life was like before having a LO. There was a point where I wouldn't leave the house without my make up on and I didn't dare put LO down in his basket awake so I could shower. I also think the same about having an established routine already and being less revolved around the baby this time. I just sometimes get afraid I'm being naive about life with two.

 

[Jessiecat]

I've always heard it's easier going from 1 to 2 than it is from 0 to 1 if that makes sense. And things like showering, with my first I daren't put him down for a second so I'd wait until someone else was in the house before i'd even dream of it but this time round I have realised that life goes on and you can't put everything on stand by for a baby. I know I sound really harsh but i really think thats what will keep us second timers going. Also we know its tough, sleep deprivation is a killer for anyone but at least we know to expecgt that rather than thinking baby will sleep really well at night or we'll catch up in the day etc which we now know is not always possible.
This time i'll also make use of visitors, i don't mind poeple visiting but only for an hour or 2 and if they want to put the dishwasher on for me or bring me a home made meal then i'm saying yes lol, no trying to save my pride this time!
You'll be ok, you've done this before, you know what you're doingand as you said you know what the warning signs are. I think it would be normal to worry but you sound like you've got your head scfrewed on xx

 

[littlemonkey]

Thanks for the reassurance. You're so right in what you say about life going on and it's not mean really. It's something that never really clicked in my head until LO was about 4 months, when I thought hang on I'm the grown up here! Now LO is more than happy to amuse himself while I'm busy or even better come and help out with housework etc. I'm just hoping he's as happy to help with the baby!