Some Honest Advice please

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Im nearly 12 weeks pregnant, and my hormones are running riot, so be gentle.

My hubby has had to got to be with his mum who is having a double heart bypass, his brother is there too, they dont get along and he was very nasty about our little lad when his was born (Said he was not bothered and never wanted photos) Big problems before that so no biggy. We have told his mum just to keep both lads life separate as we try, they don't and we have had enough. We went last year and see talked about him, so she got told off and we came home. It is his brother who said to my hubby he had no brother and told him to take a overdose to cope with there dads death.

They were there less than 24 hours and she told him we were pregnant, no accident, just told him, this upset my hubby and he called me and I too was pevved. So he told her she had but her foot in her mouth big time. She then called me and had a gobby. I asked her to explain but she didn't. And just insulted me saying we did not have a happy relationship. (trust me we do, before familys but in!)

Now she is in for her operation and I feel bad, but it did upset us. Should I just have kept stum. I have got so upset, because I hate her and I feel bad for that. (Prev had a great relationship, she just pushes his brother onto us too much and he is a jerk) My poor hubby!

Advice PLEEEEESE

 

[scottishterrier]

to be honest i think lifes too short, i think you should just live your lives and ignore the crap. Can i ask whats so bad about his mum telling his brother you are pregnant? Perhaps she told him as she knew he wouldnt find out from either of you that he would be an uncle.
Families fight bicker aned argue but at the end of the day is it worth getting yourself stressed about?
Plus the woman just had major surgery, im sure she could use her two sons pulling together and getting on with it right now x

 

[Becs]

Hello Hon,

I think I read that right that you are annoyed because your hubbys Mum told his brother (who he doesn't get on with) that you are pregnant? I can really understand why that would peeve you off and have recently been finding family can upset me with incensitivety too. It sounds as though your hubbys side are a little fractious and will react to any negativety. I know this has wound you up but I wonder if as you are nearly 12 weeks and nearly out of the uncertain phase, you should just try to keep calm and not react. They would have found out about the pregnancy at some point soon anyway. Maybe you could surprise your mother in law by sending her a big bunch of flowers and wishing her well with no mention of all of this. People are really taken aback when you do something sweet when they expect you to be angry with them. It would put you on a better footing with her and also shown yourself to be rising above it. Try not to let them draw you in and show them that that sort of pettyness isn't going to bait you.

Hormones are a nightmare - everything is harder to be reasonable about at this time. Lot's of . I hope whatever you do works out for the best.

 

[lisa&alex]

you cant control what other people do.. so as long as you and ur hubby are happy dont worry about other people.

personally i would just send ehr a get well soon card saying.. life is to short for arguments, we all wish you well get well soon and send ehr a bunch of flowers.

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Already sent a card went my hubby went over. M-I L has not had operation yet. And Brotherin law, will not let us have anything to do with there son (Trust me we tried) She told him on purpose, no slip up thats the problem, even when we have asked her several times not too because he tends to create problems. But he won't acknowledge it when it his born, because he never did with my little boy, actually turned his back to him!


Surley life is also too short to put up with peoples negativity, my hubby wants very little to do with any of them, just there for support.

ps I will not be sending any flowers, as she very rarely send our little boy anything, did not come over for our wedding or to see her grand child.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Get it out there and share your happy news and sod those that cant be happy for you - believe me i know what your going through!!!

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Thanks Mrs tommo22, Thats when my hubby says too, he just says it not us with the problem its them, and that they must have a really unhappy life if they never put other people first.

Whats happenning with you? I bet its family!

 

[Urchin]

TBH, I wouldn't give a hoot who knows. What difference does it make? So what if he blanks you when baby is born, you will be happy and shouldn;t care what he thinks.
It sounds like this guy is out to cause problems and is succeeding!

Ignore it, I haven't spoken to my brother in 2 years, he knows I am pregnant and it doesn't bother me, I am happy in my life and he is an absolute Arse**le so I'm not gonna let him bring me down.

I avoid talking to my other brother about it, he gets on well with the other brother and doesn't try and talk to me about him..if he does I tell him he's a tosser!
I know it's hard but just get on with your life and if MIL brings up the other son change the convo and don't get drawn into it.

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

lol I know . I wear my heart on my sleeve to much, I need a shorter sleeved top!

 

[Urchin]

Aww, you're a bit hormonal and maybe a bit touchy about it, but you need to try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy, don't let that guy succeed in causing problems for you.