Some bad news! :(
- Thread starter jenna
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im very sorry for your loss this is s crap thing to happen
here is my story
i had 2 mc about 4 years ago, we were told it was just one of those things and were unfortunate that it had happened twice, i found it so hard during this time i felt like such a failure i wasnt even sure if i would ever have children, everywere i went there seemed to be pregnant women everywere which i started getting really bitter about, after a few months of grieving we decided we were ready to try again i fell pregnant pretty soon this pregnancy was fine and i had a little girl, i then fell pregnant verry soon after this and this one was fine too i had another little girl. This year we decided to try for another but i had another mc in january, im now 9 weeks pregnant again and this seems to be going fine too. i havent forgot the babies i lost but it does get so much easier in time. Im sorry for going on a bit here but i quess what im trying to say is dont blame yourself and dont give up hope im sure you will be holding a bundle of joy in your arms soon. The mc forum is very good you will get loads of support there.
here is my story
i had 2 mc about 4 years ago, we were told it was just one of those things and were unfortunate that it had happened twice, i found it so hard during this time i felt like such a failure i wasnt even sure if i would ever have children, everywere i went there seemed to be pregnant women everywere which i started getting really bitter about, after a few months of grieving we decided we were ready to try again i fell pregnant pretty soon this pregnancy was fine and i had a little girl, i then fell pregnant verry soon after this and this one was fine too i had another little girl. This year we decided to try for another but i had another mc in january, im now 9 weeks pregnant again and this seems to be going fine too. i havent forgot the babies i lost but it does get so much easier in time. Im sorry for going on a bit here but i quess what im trying to say is dont blame yourself and dont give up hope im sure you will be holding a bundle of joy in your arms soon. The mc forum is very good you will get loads of support there.
claire30 - Im so sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean, at first i thought it was all my fault. Driving home was awful, we hugged before we set off and sat in silence most of the way. I just didnt know what to say to him, felt like it was all my fault that we'd lost it. About 30 minutes later i just said 'sorry' and he got upset and said it wasnt my fault it was the 'skinner luck'. He said even if we got pregnant again we'd lose it or it would be an awful birth and nothing is ever stright forward for us.
I think after iv given my urine sample next week and we are told everything is ok we will be able to start to 'get back to normal'. I know iv had the chemical pregnancies and it was a horrible thing to go through but this was futher on and going and looking and seeing nothing there was so harsh
Thanks for the comments and PM's it means a lot to me
I think after iv given my urine sample next week and we are told everything is ok we will be able to start to 'get back to normal'. I know iv had the chemical pregnancies and it was a horrible thing to go through but this was futher on and going and looking and seeing nothing there was so harsh
Thanks for the comments and PM's it means a lot to me
mrs_tommo22
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Jenna, I just want you to know how truky sorry i am about yours and your DH loss. Theres no words to desribe it.
Please dont give up hope of becoming a mum, becasue no one deserves a baby more then you and all the other wonderful ladies on here.
Big hugs sweetie and I hoper you get your head around this soon and come to terms with whats happened.
Please dont give up hope of becoming a mum, becasue no one deserves a baby more then you and all the other wonderful ladies on here.
Big hugs sweetie and I hoper you get your head around this soon and come to terms with whats happened.
Thanks
Im feeling a lot better now, i think now iv had some time to think has really helped. When i got in work this morning i sat at my desk inbetween 2 people who i wouldnt say hate but really dislike. They were both chatting away about why they dont want kids and how selfish some parents can be and about people loseing babies. Im sure it was all for my benefit.
My manager and friend at work that knows are being really nice. My sister emailed me to ask if me and craig have cried yet... shes still too imature for me to have any sort of conversation with right now. My mum is trying to ask me how i am with out asking. I still feel like shes keeping something from me. Last night its all i could think about. I just dont understand after she knows about all this all i want is the truth. Afterall shes willing to discuss it with my sister and shes like a 5 year old!!
For any one who does know about that, basically when i started TTC i asked my mum if she had ever had a miscarriage (she gave me a clue one day when she got upset about a programme about miscarriages). She said 'no dont be daft' and i thought she was a little upset and wounderd why she made the comment earlier about miscarriages. I kept asking and she kept saying no so i left it. Later on i was looking though photo albums and realised my mum didnt have a picture of me till i was a few weeks. She said she had bought a camera to take pictures of me as they couldnt afford one when my sister was born and they had to borrow one so my dad traded his car for a camera. obviestly that didnt add up. And i was told (other than the fact she was going to abort me because the doctors said i would be disabled) my birth was fine, so why didnt she take pictures of me? She traded a car so she could!!. Anyway she kept deniying it. My sister asked her a few weeks later and she said she had. I was so upset that she'd lied to me that i emailed her at work and she replied saying 'its an upsetting subject' and 'it wasnt with your dad'. I still dont understand why shes keeping things from me. Even to this day when i ask she walks off and says she doesnt want to talk about it. I still believe i was a twin and my twin died at birth and thats why theres no birth or after my birth pictures and thats why my scans disapeared!
I know i should really talk to her and i think theres something wrong with me and she feels guilty and thats why she doesnt want to say. She sounds so suprised when i tell her im pregnant (not excited suprised kinda like 'wah how did you do that!!!' suprised) and when i say iv miscarried she sounds like she already knew.
I always thought i could talk to her but i dont feel like that anymore. Its so disapointing.
I know i probably should rest now but i cant stand to be alone. If i didnt come to work i would be sat at home with no one, at least i have company here, even if my mind isnt on my job right now.
Rant over
Im feeling a lot better now, i think now iv had some time to think has really helped. When i got in work this morning i sat at my desk inbetween 2 people who i wouldnt say hate but really dislike. They were both chatting away about why they dont want kids and how selfish some parents can be and about people loseing babies. Im sure it was all for my benefit.
My manager and friend at work that knows are being really nice. My sister emailed me to ask if me and craig have cried yet... shes still too imature for me to have any sort of conversation with right now. My mum is trying to ask me how i am with out asking. I still feel like shes keeping something from me. Last night its all i could think about. I just dont understand after she knows about all this all i want is the truth. Afterall shes willing to discuss it with my sister and shes like a 5 year old!!
For any one who does know about that, basically when i started TTC i asked my mum if she had ever had a miscarriage (she gave me a clue one day when she got upset about a programme about miscarriages). She said 'no dont be daft' and i thought she was a little upset and wounderd why she made the comment earlier about miscarriages. I kept asking and she kept saying no so i left it. Later on i was looking though photo albums and realised my mum didnt have a picture of me till i was a few weeks. She said she had bought a camera to take pictures of me as they couldnt afford one when my sister was born and they had to borrow one so my dad traded his car for a camera. obviestly that didnt add up. And i was told (other than the fact she was going to abort me because the doctors said i would be disabled) my birth was fine, so why didnt she take pictures of me? She traded a car so she could!!. Anyway she kept deniying it. My sister asked her a few weeks later and she said she had. I was so upset that she'd lied to me that i emailed her at work and she replied saying 'its an upsetting subject' and 'it wasnt with your dad'. I still dont understand why shes keeping things from me. Even to this day when i ask she walks off and says she doesnt want to talk about it. I still believe i was a twin and my twin died at birth and thats why theres no birth or after my birth pictures and thats why my scans disapeared!
I know i should really talk to her and i think theres something wrong with me and she feels guilty and thats why she doesnt want to say. She sounds so suprised when i tell her im pregnant (not excited suprised kinda like 'wah how did you do that!!!' suprised) and when i say iv miscarried she sounds like she already knew.
I always thought i could talk to her but i dont feel like that anymore. Its so disapointing.
I know i probably should rest now but i cant stand to be alone. If i didnt come to work i would be sat at home with no one, at least i have company here, even if my mind isnt on my job right now.
Rant over
Hi jenna so sorry for what you're going through.
As for your mum, it's hard to say whether she's habouring some deep dark secret or she just doesn't know how to express her emotions or deal with the situation. My mum is the same in that she would never honestly tell me how she feels, but then with me she was more than honest about her miscarriages and to the point of being totally tactless when I was first pregnant (telling me not to get my hopes up etc etc).
Maybe you should try to sit her down and get her to open up about what happened to her, and how what has happened to you makes her feel. It must stir up emotions for her that she doesn't want to deal with.
Thinking of you,
xxxx
p.s. if you want us to come round and sort out those a**holes you sit next to, let us know
so sorry for what you're going through.As for your mum, it's hard to say whether she's habouring some deep dark secret or she just doesn't know how to express her emotions or deal with the situation. My mum is the same in that she would never honestly tell me how she feels, but then with me she was more than honest about her miscarriages and to the point of being totally tactless when I was first pregnant (telling me not to get my hopes up etc etc).
Maybe you should try to sit her down and get her to open up about what happened to her, and how what has happened to you makes her feel. It must stir up emotions for her that she doesn't want to deal with.
Thinking of you,
xxxx
p.s. if you want us to come round and sort out those a**holes you sit next to, let us know
monster_munch
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hunI really wish I was in your work place right now. Some people can be utter cows
Lol its about time some one sorted them out
I just dont understand why she wont tell me but she told my sister. She told my dad about the chemical pregnancy in january and he asked her if i was ok (iv always been really close to my dad but really hated him at the same time so we find it really hard to talk to each other). She started having a go at him and said 'course shes fine she hasnt felt it kick or held it in her arms' i just dont understand why she would do that and she actually told me thats what she'd said. I was in too much shoke to say anything to her really. I dont want anyone to think shes a horrible person because shes the kindest person i know, well untill i bring this up and she goes all weird.
I can totally understand about hurting her feelings and bringing things up must be really hard for her too but lieing is only making it worse, i didnt tell her about the 2nd chemical pregnancy until a few days later and my sister told her and she made me feel like i was evil letting her know that way.
I just dont understand why she wont tell me but she told my sister. She told my dad about the chemical pregnancy in january and he asked her if i was ok (iv always been really close to my dad but really hated him at the same time so we find it really hard to talk to each other). She started having a go at him and said 'course shes fine she hasnt felt it kick or held it in her arms'
i just dont understand why she would do that and she actually told me thats what she'd said. I was in too much shoke to say anything to her really. I dont want anyone to think shes a horrible person because shes the kindest person i know, well untill i bring this up and she goes all weird. I can totally understand about hurting her feelings and bringing things up must be really hard for her too but lieing is only making it worse, i didnt tell her about the 2nd chemical pregnancy until a few days later and my sister told her and she made me feel like i was evil letting her know that way.
monster_munch
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TBH it sounds to me like something is eating her up.
Shame she can't talk to you about it though
Shame she can't talk to you about it though
Jenna
said all I could say yesterday hun- glad to see you back on today and having all the support, hope its making work a little more bearable anyway
On the subject of your mum - I was old enough to remember my sister who died, and we do have photos etc of her (she was a twin too)But for years Mum couldn't speak about her - and she would have been 28 this year. Only in the last few years has she been able to talk about her normally. Maybe your Mum just struggles more than most - at the time she would have lost this baby it wasn't as accepted to grieve for a stillborn or miscarried child, and I know one of the reasons my mum struggled was that although she lost one baby (born living) she had another to care for, so the grieving kind of had to be put on hold for a long time, and also she couldn't be unhappy and grieve properly as she was meant to be happy for the other baby too.
Hope that helps a little
said all I could say yesterday hun- glad to see you back on today and having all the support, hope its making work a little more bearable anyway
On the subject of your mum - I was old enough to remember my sister who died, and we do have photos etc of her (she was a twin too)But for years Mum couldn't speak about her - and she would have been 28 this year. Only in the last few years has she been able to talk about her normally. Maybe your Mum just struggles more than most - at the time she would have lost this baby it wasn't as accepted to grieve for a stillborn or miscarried child, and I know one of the reasons my mum struggled was that although she lost one baby (born living) she had another to care for, so the grieving kind of had to be put on hold for a long time, and also she couldn't be unhappy and grieve properly as she was meant to be happy for the other baby too.
Hope that helps a little
I know it must be awful, loseing a child at any stage is something that no one deserves to go through. I just thought we were close enough to share things like that. It hurts more that she told my sister and not me 
I know shes older but even my mum admitted that im more mature than her. .
I know shes older but even my mum admitted that im more mature than her. .Ginnymarie
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hi Jenna
it i such alot of posts but i had to tell you how sorry i was too
take care pet xxx
it i such alot of posts but i had to tell you how sorry i was too
take care pet xxx
