so desappointed in m little girl!!!

[melhoney]

and quite ashamed really!!!

Today at nursery, Maheen has bitten another toddler, and scratched her just next to her eye, and the poor mite was bleeding a little bit!!!


The ladies there said that she did it as she got jealous that they were caring about this little girl, and maheen got mad at her!!! I am in a complete shock!! I cannot believe my daughter has turned into this little monster for a few seconds!!!

She was told off, and I told her off, and I am sure she has understood why I told her off, as she made her "oops, sorry" face, but I am so desappointed in her...I even cried, as it made me feel so crap! Surely I have done something wrong, but what!!??

She has shown signs of jealousy at home, she doesn't like OH and I getting too close to each other, she starts screaming, and tries to separate us, ut she never got that violent!!!

Has anybody experienced anything similar (violence towards other toddlers, or extreme jealousy?)

I feel her actions automatically reflect on me, what kind of mother am I....

I feel really bad, quite shaken really...
Where is my sweet little girl, who gives cuddles and kisses every 5 minutes???????????

Mel x

 

[Vicky]

aww hun, its a fase they go through,

Kacy used to get jelours alot if i was holding another baby younger then her, or if my parents or my sister had her and they had hold of another baby she would scream and give us all dirty looks.

Kacy does the same about pushing as away if we are having a cuddle.

I can't give much advice i'm afriad hun, but i'm sure shewill grow out of it

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Josh went through this phase too. Every time I picked him up from nursery they would tell me he'd bitten someone and I felt so embarassed, the staff must have thought I couldnt control him

He did grow out of it within a few weeks and luckily we've had nothing like that since. It was mostly over the usual kids things - not wanting to share toys etc.

He used to get quite jealous at home as well, if me and his dad are talking he talks over the top of us and wont let us have a conversation. He's not so bad now but he used to be!

I know its hard but dont blame yourself, nothing you've done or didnt do has made her act like that, its just what kids do and eventually they learn its not acceptable.

And please dont feel ashamed. If kids didnt do bad things every now and then they wouldnt learn whats right and whats wrong

 

[Dee1985]

Dior dont do it at nursery but if we are at home and i hold a friends baby she will push them off my lap of try hitting them, she dont do it with Harley but any one else child she will, dont worry yourself its just a phase it wil pass i am sure she is just learning all these different feelings

 

[Baileysmummy]

was you at the nursery when it happened..

my son has been biten at nursery before and they couldnt tell me which child had biten him due to some regulation act or something.. i would have liked to have known...

 

[melhoney]

Thanks for your replies, girls!

I feel a little bit better, but it really shook me! I kept on thinking about it for the whole weekend, and I can't help having it at the back of my mind!

It was really terrible, when the dad of the little girl she scratched and bite came to collect her! I just did not know what to say!
I don't think I ever felt so ashamed!

I was not there at the nursery when it happened, but apparently, the staff was 100% sure it was her who did it, and tbh, when I spoke to Maheen over there with a stern voice, Maheen looked like she knew what I was going on about!

I am not sure if it's related, but this weekend, she has been ever so cuddly, and loving, so much that it made me feel she wanted to make up for something! and during the night between Friday and Saturday, Maheen woke up twice at night, crying! Usually, if she wakes up at night, it's because she has lost her dummy and can't find it herself, but this time, she had it in her mouth, and it took her a few minutes to calm down in my arms!
So I felt guilty even more, that I was too stern maybe??

Anyway, we had a good conversation involving daddy, mummy and Maheen, and she "promised" she won't be naughty again!!!

We will see how she behaves in nursery this week, but at home we are gonna try and make her overcome her jalousy...any tips for doing it?

We were going to create situations where we know she gets jealous and explain her each time she reacts that it's not good...what do you think?

Mel xx

 

[muppetmummy]

When James was around that age he went through a stage of biting at nursery. Every single day I could guarantee that he'd have sunk his teeth into someone!!

The nursery staff didn't seem too bothered. They said that it was very common and a lot of children go through that phase.

After a month or so he did grow out of it and he actually became a victim of being bitten himself. It sounds horrible but I was so relieved when he started being on the receiving end! I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[Duds]

oh dear im sorry to hear that Mel, it must of been awful, i sympathize.
You cant believe its anything you have done though cause it isnt its just her learning how to behave and control her emotions. She will learn not to do it again. Were you there when it happened or was it daycare?

Aimee hasnt bitten or anything yet but to be honest i wouldnt put it past her sometimes, she tried to bite my finger once then thought better of it.
I have a slightly different problem with her not wanting to socialize or be anywhere without me. Im worry she wont ever make any friends.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

aww hun sorry this happened i think every child goes through a stage like this at some point
Katrina

 

[melhoney]

Thanks Girls, your words are reassuring!
Maheen went back to nursery today and she has een a good girl!

I have to say I was dreading to go and pick her up!!! And it must have shown on my face ecause the lady who looks after her at the nursery said, "hi, don't worry, she has been a very happy bunny today"

I know that kids must learn what's good and bad, but I think I kind of imagined that it woyuld be an instinct for my little girl, you know, i kind of idealised her really!!! And that's probably why it was such a shock!
I'll just have to watch her jealousy, being a single child myself, I think I know the problem inside out!

Duds, I sympathise completely with you, Maheen is not like that, but her cousin is!!! He won't do ANYTHING, even sleep, if his mum is not right next to him!!!!!...she can't even leave the room when he is asleep, he'd wake up straight away! I did not even imagine that could exist! But having said that, most pakistani babies are like this, it's the culture, you know, mums raise their kids, and they all grow out of it, so I am sure Aimee will as well.

I know it can be a pain, but look...in a few year, it might be the totally opposite, and you will regret those old days when you meant the world to her!

It must be really draining though, all my to you!

mel xx

 

[budge]

don't be disappointed. shes only a little girl .
she will get over it.

 

[lauramumof2]

Its no big deal, if I were you though I wouldnt go on about it to her. Ive seen these things as the childs way of getting attention. If the person who she is trying to get attention off of ignores the biter and comforts the bitee then the child is less likely to do it as they are not getting the attention that they set out to get.
She hasnt got the undivided attention at nursery that she gets at home.

 

[frangelle]

Kieran went through a phase of biting at nursery after another child bit him. I'm sure its just a phase hun, it's not a reflection on your parenting skills, it's not like you bite her!!!

 

[Duds]

Dont think it should be ignored tho, i know how i'd feel if aimee did it & if you leave these things without teaching them then they dont learn right from wrong.
I know it happens alot but i think Mel is dealing with it the right way.

Mel - your poor cousin ! Aimee isnt that bad, she has just become really clingy when we go out as she has recently started nursery herself once a week which i think has caused it, i also think she has picked up about the baby arriving soon and knows something is going to happen... being a parent just seems full of guilt sometimes!

x

 

[melhoney]

She's done it again today!!!!!

And the surprising thing is that she did it to the same girl again!!! They really don't get on well, these two!!

I certainly don't bite her!!! Actually I kiss her all the time, I just can't help it! but I do my big stern eyes, cross my arms (you know, the true French way!!! ) when I want her to understand she's done something wrong, and I tell her so. I have sometimes, but not very often really, tapped softly on her hand when she was trying to be naughty with her hand. usually that really scares her, and she stops straight away, but again, that's really not often...I just wonder if maybe it's because of that?

Duds, it must be hard for Aimee to deal with new environment where mummy is not around and the feeling that something is coming up!!! I am sure she's understood there is another baby on the way, and as you said, it's probably why!
How are you feeling anyway? do you know the sex? (maybe you've posted but I don't have much time to read through all that is going on here! )

Thanks for all the replies, I am just going to continue what I am doing and hope that consistency will have a postivie effect!

Mel xx