So called friends!

[NavyLouise]

Excuse my rant!

Friend of mine sort of invited herself and her bf round today, so I said we'd make lunch etc. told her to get here for 1 and she's just text saying they'll be late and it'll be closer to 2:30!
For a start they only live 15 mins away, I have a sodding quiche in the oven and nibbles out ready and I am peed off!
She did this before when my husband was making us all pizza, she was 3 hours late! We also arranged to go to the Harvester with them when lo was just born and they made us wait an hour and a half like idiots in the restaurant with a 3 week old baby!

Does anyone else have friends like this? I'm getting to the end of my tether with them now as its always me making effort and they can't even bother to get here on time and don't even apologise!

 

[Little_angel]

Wow, for me that's 3 strikes and they're out! I can't believe you waited in the restaurant. I would have ordered and they could have joined in when they arrived.

I have a friend who tends to be late, but she doesn't do it when it matters. Ive learnt with her that if she's coming for dinner I tell her an hour earlier. If I'm meeting her for drinks, I make sure I don't mind waiting, or meet another friend at the same time. I find it does nobody any good to get worked up about it. She's been this way her whole life, I won't change her, so I either accept her as she is, or stop meeting her. This particular friend is worth it, there have been others asking the way who weren't.

 

[NavyLouise]

Thanks for that, I'm going to have to evaluate it because I can't help get annoyed!
She's done it a hundred times before, excluding cinemas trips etc!

I think it's worse because I'm just not like that and find it so rude!

 

[Little_angel]

It helps (not getting angry) if you understand the motivation. My friend doesn't mean to be rude and she doesn't do it because she doesn't care or thinks her time is more valuable than mine, she's just one of those people who thinks they can fit twice as much as they can into a time frame. So she knows she has to leave at 1pm but gets caught up in other stuff and then realises she has 20 mins to shower, pack a case and feed the dog. It's still not a valid reason to keep me waiting, but I know it's not deliberate. She also has many good points and is a kind and generous friend.

I would be more angry though if it affected J. Like when you were waiting in the restaurant.

I hope you sort it out. Perhaps if you have a chat to them today it might help xxx

 

[kat1988]

I used to have a friend like this ^^^ for a long time my circle of friend would just tell her we were meeting an hour earlier than we actually were and even then she'd still be late but it annoyed us less. then she started getting worse, she'd send a text last min cancelling dinner plans when I was already at the pub/restaurant with no reason or apology, she'd ditch one friend for another without any reason. it came to a head when, in the same day, she ditched a mutual fried to come meet me (I didn't know at the time) turned up nearly an hour late to meet me for lunch, then ditched me after less than 10mins for her new bf! after that a group of us sat et down and told her straight she took the pi** out of us and we weren't going to put up with it any more, the next time she ditched anyone of us or turned up late without a bloody good reason that was it, 2days later (friends birthday meal) she showed up as we started dessert, the birthday girl stood up and told her there wasnt enough seats for her and there was a charity shop across the road for her present!

that was probably a little harsh, but I think it gets to a point where u either accept that friend will never change (if its just thier bad time keeping and personality) or thier just too selfish and they really don't care enough to change!

 

[CARNAT22]

I have a friend who is a terrible time keeper (how we've been friends for 17 years I'll never know as I am a very punctual person)

If we're in a group it's fine, as we'll just do our thing and she'll join us. If I am meeting her one on one I'll purposely be half an hour late.

Year's ago we were practically neighbours and OH worked away in the week so I'd cook for her every Thursday. She was late every single time, and I'd be half drunk by the time she arrived as I'd start on the wine although it made me a lot less angry LOL!

As L_a says as long as the intention is not to cause you inconvenience then it may not be worth falling out over but I'd limit socialising with her to events she can come and join you so you are not left hanging around waiting for her.

When James was 3 weeks I was barely leaving the house so I'd have been livid to have been left hanging around for a friend in a restaurant.

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