So bloody annoyed - I have to return to working

I am SOOOO pissed off at the minute. We had worked out a way for me to stay at home and it involved us getting a consolidation loan, but we were refused so now we can meet our monthly payments but not afford to eat or have petro or anything for Damienl. My maternity pay runs out on the 5th of May and after that I have to work again.

Gutted, absolutely bloody gutted. I don't want to leave Damien with anyone. I'm too unstable to work plus I am too tired, I'm in bed by 9 or 10 and asleep by 11 most nights. The tablets are knocking me out. As soon as I go to work our tax credits will drop too which means I will have to work even more hours to cover that aswell as childcare. I am so upset, I really thought I could afford to be a SAHM

Sorry for the moan, I just feel like everytime things look good, they turn shite again.

 

[hearts81]

awww bless, i know how you feel. I was hoping not to go back to work but we're in so much debt that in the end i had to. Still dont make enough to pay everything though


Good luck and make the most of your month left

 

[lucylou]

Aaah I'm really sorry Sami, that sucks! I hope everything works out for you hun, I am staying off but only because my work has just gone into liquidation, it's going to be so difficult and we won't have any money ourselves at all, life is so hard sometimes isn't it! x

 

[Manda]

Sami im going bavk to work too absolutely gutted cos i want to be with Abi we're basically moving back to the uk from Australia cos we cant afford our debt, dan is moving in with mates and im going back to my mum and dads i'm gonna work full time as it means i can pay my debts off quicker and then stop working again and maybe try for baby #2.

If you work under 16 hours you can still claim some things plus you can claim upto 75% of your childcare we were reading up on it the other day go to the job centre website and all the info is on there.

Manda x

 

Life is a bloody *******. Grrrr Frikkin suffragettes screwed it all up for us, if women were never allowed to work there wouldn't be this problem

 

[Manda]

lol Sami, i'm just trying to think positive things out of it like i'll be able to buy abi nice things and stuff dont know how i'll be when it comes to it tho

 

We won't even be able to buy nice stuff with the money, it'll all go on sodding childcare and bills and the basics to live. I am sat here balling my eyes out because I feel so hopeless. I'm not in a fit state to work, the thought fills me with dread and I don't know how I am going to do it. DF got a warning at work yesterday for something he cocked up (first time in the 4 years he has worked for the company) and he is on probation for the next 3 months everything has all gone very Pete tong.

Sorry I know there isn't alot anyone can say to make me feel better I just needed to get my rant out. I am gutted.

 

[lauramumof2]

Hi sami,
I really feel for you, it cant be great feeling like you do and knowing you have to go back. What is it you do? Is there any chance that being back in a working environment might make you feel a wee bit better. I dont know really, just thought maybe.

Ive been back for a while now and I like it, I can do what I want at lunch and eat what I like. Once they get to the eating more solid food stage you cant sit with a pot noodle as they want a bit too. I aint sharing my pot noodle. lol.

Money is always a problem, there is never enough.

 

I was only working as a temp so I will have to find work all over again. I did boring Customer Service/Admin type roles. Definately not something I miss! Grrrrrrrrrr

 

[Hypnorm]

have you even thoought about doing some work from home or some thing like that?

 

[Manda]

im lucky in the fact ive got a job lined up for when i return from oz as admin for the police it's 15 thousand a year plus shift allowance. Sami would you be able to work evenings or weekends when oh can look after baby? you can still claim job seekers if you work under 16 hours and you wouldn't be paying for childcare or another option is someone you know with a child if you look after there's 2 days for them to work and then they do the same that way you're not paying anyone either I'd do it if i lived by you hun unfortunately i live to far away.
have you tried contacting your lenders and lowering your monthly payments i rang mine and made them an offer and they've accepted but it has to be reviewed every 2 months and it cant be long term.

If you really cant face going back can you get signed off sick with depression afetr a while you can claim incapacity benefit not sure how tho

Chin up hun.

 

Can't claim Incapacity - too young.
Live in Isolated villiage and know no-one here with kids or to look after Damien. Working weekends and evening seems my only option but these tablets are knocking me sideways and come 6pm I am so tired I could crawl into bed. Can't stop the tablets though because otherwise I won't sleep.
If we reduced out monthly payments we would get a bad credit rating and with me already having one from cutting my payments down before, it's not good for DF to have one too.
Not sure what jobs I could do from home. Was doing Avon but it's making virtually no money for the effort I'm putting in.

 

[Manda]

Not sure what else to suggest, i did avon over here and earned crap money not evenworth having

 

[lauramumof2]

Im sure you know best but my sister was getting i/b and she was under 20. It might be worth looking into, if your tablets for depression are making you feel tired and without them you feel really ill then medically you should be unfit for work.
Im so angry for you, there should be some way out of this without going back. What about citizens advice?

 

I'll have another look into it then hun, thanks for letting em know. That's what they said to me before (when I was signed off when pregnant) - I haven't paid enough NI contributions as I was too young - there must be another way!!

 

[Dee1985]

it totaly does my headin the help a mum gets if she has a father for the baby, if u were to say didnt no who the dad is u would get help with every thing....

i struggled real bad on mat leave with Dior i was working for a crappy agency got £100 a week, i went back to work when Dior was 6months i got a private childminder thou which both Dior and i love, luckly now i work for a brill company that are giving me a yr off 6months full pay 6months £100 a week Dior is only one so i can make up for lost time still while she is still a baby,,

its horrid thou as we no these yrs are not replacable

 

I think we are just going to have to write to our debtors, cut our payments down and risk the bad credit rating (if that happens). I'm not fit to work and I don't wanna leave him with anyone, he's a bit of a pain. Nor do i think I could be up in the night with him, look after him in the day, then go to work in the evening when Mark gets in, it would near kill me.

Bloody life is such a pile of steaming poo sometimes eh

 

[Dee1985]

its crap, but ild risk having bad credit rather then leave my baby when im not ready...

take care of your self wait untill u are ready, can your doctor not sign you off as unfit to work due to depression?? or does it not make a difference?

my credit is terrible i HATE paying council tax always have always will £150 a bloody month!!!!!!!!!!!!

so thats why i cant get a mortgage

 

Same. As annoying as it might be, and it may set us back for a couple of years with the credit side of things, but after a few years your bad credit is wiped clean to start over again. As long as we are honest with our debtors we should be okie. The one's we will cut down are all classed as non-priority debts. Things like the rent and council tax will get paid in full as you can be taken to court about them.

Thanks for listening to me moan, sometimes it's hard to see a way out. x

 

[lulu]

Hi Sami,

You should get Income support if you are off sick with depression, I did (not sure if you do already?)

A great Charity to contact about paying your lenders and for some advice would be the Consumer credit counselling service (charity, so its free).

Its a crap system isnt it? especially when there are people who cant be arsed to work and get all the help under the sun!!!!