trixipaws
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- Oct 13, 2006
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ok, our pregnancy was not planned. my boyf and i had talked about having kids but we'd thought it'd be something we'd do when we're older, however we're both excited about this one.
the thing is, now we're having this one earlier than planned i kinda feel pressure to plan for another one in a few years, because i wouldnt want too much of an age gap.
but, my boyf has said he doesnt want another one, and he seemingly feels quite strong about it.
to be honest, i dont have a big urge to have any more either, the MAIN reason is that i'd worry about not loving the second one as much- i ALWAYS have a favourite cat! (lol, its ok with cats as long as u love them both but i think with kids u cant have a favourite?)
there are other reasons too (such as not enough money, 2 would be more hard work, i'v been told its the 2nd that permanently ruins ur figure etc etc etc but those reasons are minor really) so at the moment i wouldnt mind having only this baby.
but i sometimes wonder is it unfair on the child to deny her siblings?
but then i think it'd be unfair on the second sibling to bring it into the world just for the purpose of 'being a sibling' for the first child?
people with children hav said b4 their 1st theyd said they only wanted one but after their babies born they wanted more. this may happen with us and after she'd born maybe we'll both really want to have more- in which case none of what i'm saying here will matter?
but for now, what do u think?
i'm unsure about whether i want more, like i said- i'm just worried i couldnt love it as much. but my boyf seems more sure of what he wants and at the moment its NO more! but then i feel this pressure to make plans! need advice!
the thing is, now we're having this one earlier than planned i kinda feel pressure to plan for another one in a few years, because i wouldnt want too much of an age gap.
but, my boyf has said he doesnt want another one, and he seemingly feels quite strong about it.
to be honest, i dont have a big urge to have any more either, the MAIN reason is that i'd worry about not loving the second one as much- i ALWAYS have a favourite cat! (lol, its ok with cats as long as u love them both but i think with kids u cant have a favourite?)
there are other reasons too (such as not enough money, 2 would be more hard work, i'v been told its the 2nd that permanently ruins ur figure etc etc etc but those reasons are minor really) so at the moment i wouldnt mind having only this baby.
but i sometimes wonder is it unfair on the child to deny her siblings?
but then i think it'd be unfair on the second sibling to bring it into the world just for the purpose of 'being a sibling' for the first child?
people with children hav said b4 their 1st theyd said they only wanted one but after their babies born they wanted more. this may happen with us and after she'd born maybe we'll both really want to have more- in which case none of what i'm saying here will matter?
but for now, what do u think?
i'm unsure about whether i want more, like i said- i'm just worried i couldnt love it as much. but my boyf seems more sure of what he wants and at the moment its NO more! but then i feel this pressure to make plans! need advice!