Should I push for/demand the birth I want?

[Rosie's Mummy]

I am really torn and also feel a little bit alone in this.

I really want to have a normal easy, relaxed birthing experience. This to me means no interference for one and being able to labour in water if I feel like it. Both of these things have been taken away from me before I have even gone into labour and to be honest Im really really upset; probably more upset than I was after having my C-section. I wont have another chance to do this VBAC or no VBAC as I wont have another baby.

My consultant has said I cannot labour in the water because of the continuous monitoring and I dont have the backing of my OH to tell them to piss off - I really want to do it my way and since 99% of VBAC'ers don't have a problem with uterine rupture I feel pretty confident in my body - my body is incredible!! My consultant shot me down when I mentioned this and told me she had seen it twice; not good in front of my OH.

The other thing is that she told me if I go a week overdue they will take me in. I have a humungous problem with this in that my date is a week past the scan date - MY date is correct without doubt, we did not BD a week earlier so its practically impossible. I just feel like everything is stacked against me, no-one close to me understands about 'natural childbirth' and I know I will be accused of putting the baby at risk. Everyone (mainly my OH) is so terrified after my emergency section, which I can understandl; that they want to take every single precaution -ie. continuous monitoring..which I feel is likely to lead to another section. I also have to have IV antibiotics in labour due to GBS so Im not sure if I will be attached to a drip or wether it will be inserted via a canula

I am desperate to have a natural birth and I feel like Im running out of time; I need to bolster my strength and reasons to give to them all..I dont want to be medicalised!

I think I just really need some support and to know that I am feeling the right way, that I can do this and my body can do this.

 

[vixforever]

Oh Hun I really hope you get the birthing experience you want x

 

[AugustMum]

im sorry this is turning out so stressful for you.

I still think you should try and push to labour in water. You could get some good facts and just throw them at them. Maybe ask for a second opinion?

Im really not sure how you'd go about changing their opinions but deffinatly worth keeping going with it. Really hope you can get the natural birth.

xxx

 

[mummynmummy2b]

Hey, we're in a similar situation.... I had an emergancy sec in 2008 and am due on 1st sep and am DETERMIND to have the VBAC I want! If you want any support or just a listening ear then you know where I am......

My first consultant appointment was a disaster... consultant made me cry and im really not a softy but she basically told me, in very broken english, that I was putting my child at risk and that the most she would allow was a trial of labour where basically i think they will seize any excuse to section me. At my next MW appointment I told her that I would be booking a section and she asked me to explain what had changed my mind after previously being so positive about VBAC. When I told her what the consultant had said she was disgusted and actually rang the hospital to complain on my behalf. She basically said that it is very difficult when you are labelled 'high risk' as you are immediately placed under the care of a consultant and basically a consultant is there to manage a medical process in what they deem to be the least risky way possible. So basically in order to remove my baby from my uterus she considered a section the safest as it could be 'managed' at every possible second. Consultants are very clever doctors but that is all they are. They arent educated in holistic care, they dont look at the situation as a whole, just the medical process.

My MW told me to transfer my care to a different hospital, something you are entitled to do at any stage of your care, even if your already in labour. I have been put in touch with the head of widwifery at the new hospital who is massively supportive of VBAC, herself having had a home birth after a section. I have written a birth plan with my wishes expressed. I would also like to labour in water, not be subjected to hospital time constraints etc. I am meeting with the HOM in the next 2 weeks to discuss all the points on my plan. My MW said that what she usually does is sign it off to say she supports your decisions then she will attend all my consultant appointments in future to back me up.

There is so much evidence to show that medicalised VBAC has a lower sucess rate than a natural VBAC. Probably because the targets set by hospitals for things such as how many cm's you should dilate an hour are completely ridiculous. How many women do you know who have had a natural birth have dilated at 1 cm and hour, pushed for 1 hour..... had a text book birth??? Not very many! I definately dont and I point blank refuse to be made to feel like a failiure because my body and my baby want to do things on their timescale!

So many of the problems from my previous labour arose because the hospital intervened!! I was dilating very slowly and got stuck at 4 cm... hospitals answer was lets break her waters. They never even looked into WHY i was dilating so slowly. Turns out my LO was back2back and hadnt tucked his chin to his chest.... given time to crawl about possibly get into a pool on all 4s (great ways to turn baby) he may have turned in his own time. They broke my waters which caused him to become wedged in a very awkward position and reduced my chance of a natural delivery to 5%. All because it was upseting their targets!!!!! FUMING!!!!!

Any MW/doc whatever who tells you that you arent allowed to do something can go and take a running jump. Any woman in labour has a 2.5% chance of something happening that would require an urgent section. ie. cord prolapse, severe distress, cord around neck, uterine rupture, placental abruption...... they arent continually monitored, strapped to a bed with consultants waiting with scalpels at the ready!!

Sorrt this has turned into a proper old rant hasnt it but This is your birth. Dont let them bully you. If your consultant isnt supportive then ask MW to transfer your care to one who is. There are plenty who are.

Your not asking to be allowed to give birth in a river 600 miles from a hospital just to be treated like any normal woman in labour, not a ticking bomb!

xxxxxx

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Thankyou so much for that, you have made me feel empowered! I really appreciate the time you took to write that - I will be standing my ground for sure now, I will be in touch if I need to ask you anything xxx

 

[MrsR]

I would 100% push for the birth you want x it's a womans right x x I hope you can have the vbac and that you get the experience you deserve x

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

My consultant is 100% for the VBAC but not for labouring in the water or intermittent monitoring..Im going to see her next week so will talk about it again.

 

[Mervs Mum]

You cant be MADE to do anything. They can only advise you. You may have a fight on your hands but it's your body and your right to the birth you want. I refused induction with Sid because I knew in my heart that it wasnt the right thing to do.

You need to be firm. I need you to read that book I was talking about on FB. If I dont get copies soon I am expecting my copy back shortly so I will try get it to you. You can do this and it's wrong that they are trying to take this away from you. You need to firmly explain to them that they have an obligation to support you and they need to at least negotiate with you.

 

[vixforever]

You cant be MADE to do anything. They can only advise you. You may have a fight on your hands but it's your body and your right to the birth you want. I refused induction with Sid because I knew in my heart that it wasnt the right thing to do.

You need to be firm. I need you to read that book I was talking about on FB. If I dont get copies soon I am expecting my copy back shortly so I will try get it to you. You can do this and it's wrong that they are trying to take this away from you. You need to firmly explain to them that they have an obligation to support you and they need to at least negotiate with you.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I was going to say what MM said, thry can't make you do anything, it's your body and they can't do anything without your consent, or make you do anything! As for the group b strep, I had my antibiotics thru a canula and once I finished the first lot they just unclipped me and j ws free to do what I liked! I was initially told I couldn't have a water birth cos of it, but I asked my mw and she said it was a load of crap and the only reason they say it is cos you get the plaster wet so they have to reapply it!! And as she pointed out, you sweat so much in labour as it is that they have to anyway!
I really hope you get the birth you want

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Its ridiculous isnt it, I only had a section because my temperature went up so theoretically I have the same chance of a problem as any other woman; its only because I have a scar they class me as high risk. IMO it was their fault my temp went up causing my section because they didnt test me for GBS - I have a feeling thats what caused it. I will just refuse point blank what I don't want to do - thanks for all your support, Lisa I would love to read that book

 

[evie_smith]

Omg!!!!! I'm absoloutally disgusted in her! I had issabelle by emergency section and when she was only three months old I found out I was pregnant 10 weeks pregnant with zander now that's no time to heal but my mw's docs ect were basically no you need a section so
I took it higher and higher till I found a great consultant who said basically if there is no
- and he ment no intervension and everything was really natural there is no reason for why the scar would rupture and said any gels and pessaries ect would only increase the risk of rupture - so saying a week late and your in is madness!! My consultant also said I could use the water as long as if they wanted to I co-operated and got ofthe pool for listening and I said I only wanted that like 20mins every two and a half hours and he said that's good and he said that the nance of things taking the longer route and not being interveened with only has a 0.2% chance of rupture whi h is much lower than anything else going wrong and to prove this zander wrapped his cord round his neck twice and poked inside me haha!! They even asked me if I wanted the water during delivery coz they knew who I was consulting with and I chosethe epidural instead coz zander was back to back so them saying that to you is madness and I had no rupture Nd after having my section with belle I had a womb infection for 2 months near enough coz they left placenta in me so I'm really shocked she isn't willing to help you out - I just chose the hosp I'm
at coz I wanted the same consultant - (I hate the hosp itsself) and my consultant only went and retired! x x

 

[evie_smith]

I ment poohed inside me lol!! Not poked haha!!

Oh and he also made sure I had a ward area to slow labour in at 3-4cm for three days before I was brought down to labour ward and that was my own dissision and only had to be monitored 20 mins morning and evening x

 

[titch]

Im so sorry this is happening hun.

Are your consultant appointments at the hospital in wales or your local service? It might be worth ringing around hospitals to see if you can find anywhere that will support your birthplan. I think youre right, even if you get to labour yourself, you will feel distrusting and feel that they will be looking for excuses to c section you. You have to do all you can now to make sure you can feel calm and looked after in labour. Going into it with mistrust in the back of your mind just wouldnt be fair on you

I dunno what to say about your OH, its so hard when you feel like youre fighting on your own

You have every right to have your baby how you feel is right, you dont have to stick to any of their deadlines. And about the induction...surely using drips to give you strong contractions will increase the risk of rupture? Have they told you what the risks of going overdue are?

 

[evie_smith]

Yea the drips to increase risks of rupture my consultant made that very clear and risks of overdue is baby getting bigger I'm sorry but zander was 8lbs 3 born and although it wasn't a smooth birth it was vaginally lol!

 

[titch]

so surely, allowing a VBAC mother to not go more than 1 week past the ESTIMATED date or delivery surely is putting her more at risk than allowing her labour to begin naturally?! Honestly, these people have medical degrees, I thought they were supposed to be intelligent!

 

[evie_smith]

Yep you would think that wouldn't you lol!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

RM - PM me you address. The girl who should have it tomorrow will read it and post it directly to you if my new copies havent arrived by then

 

[titch]

RM I was going through the affirmations in the hypnobirthing last night and this one mademe think of you:

"I feel confident; I feel safe; I feel secure"

This is exactly what I was trying to say in my post, you HAVE to do everything you can to feel safe and secure when you have your baby, mistrusting the people who are caring for you just isnt going to help. I think you just HAVE to push for what you want

 

[Toonlass]

You stick to your guns chick, you know your own body Xx