Should I let it go over my head?

[lisey27]

Ok, so I love my OH but sometimes he really does drive me up the wall. I am a very independent person who likes my own time and sometimes I just want to sit and not talk-just quiet time.

My OH is a full on chatter-box, he doesnt stop, even when I am watching my fave programmes He has a tendancy to start talking and then rambles on for ages and goes into every detail of what hes telling me I find it draining sometimes as he will go into detail about an I.T problem (may as well be talking a different language). I try to put it politely sometimes that I dont understand or that I am not very keen on the conversation but he is very sensitive at times and I dont want him to feel I am putting him down. We went out for dinner tonight, I was really looking forward to it after being in by myself in the day for the past couple of weeks (off work for summer holidays) but I left feeling more stressed, he just went on about people at work that annoy him and ALL the reasons why...I just wanted a chilled and relaxed evening...

I know I probably sound like a right mean woman but I have so much stress and intensity in my life (my son has severe autism along with sensory issues and learning difficulties) that sometimes I just want a nice positive, relaxed conversation. I have been feeling a bit low this past week so things could just be getting on top of me and things annoying me more but it is getting to me, I am sick of all the whinging and moaning but at the same time, I know he needs to express his feelings and how his day has been-just wish he would reign it in a bit.

Am I being unreasonable, do you think I should say something-I have told him before that he needs to think about if I will be interested in a conversation sometimes as he speaks about the workings of computers and cars (I am not interested in computers and cars, as long as mine works-I'm happy) but he gets a bit huffy and then that annoys me more LOL.

Sorry for the big long rant just need some outsider opinions if I should say something or just let it go over my head and someone please tell me their OH drives them up the wall too x

 

[Titch85]

Yes my OH drives me up the wall, I'll ask how his day went and he'll launch into some big technical story about what he had to do, it goes straight over my head and I end up switching off while he waffles on! He's a sensitive type too, and would get in a strop if I told him he was boring me! Does he ever ask how my day was?! Nope!

No advice, but you're not alone!

 

[lisey27]

Yes my OH drives me up the wall, I'll ask how his day went and he'll launch into some big technical story about what he had to do, it goes straight over my head and I end up switching off while he waffles on! He's a sensitive type too, and would get in a strop if I told him he was boring me! Does he ever ask how my day was?! Nope!

No advice, but you're not alone!

Thanks for this, its so good to know other people feel the same way I do the same, zone out xx

 

[LikeJohnnYoko]

My husband talks about a lot of things I don't understand or have much knowledge of (from music recording, to guitars and the details of his job). I listen with patience and interest because obviously these are important things to him. Sometimes I have no interest in them whatsoever but I engage with him and ask questions to gain a better understanding.

 

[lisey27]

Yeah I do the same sometimes but he can go on for an hour or more (not exaggerating). I sometimes feel that he doesn't consider what I would or others are interested in listening to, I wouldnt talk to him for hours about childcare laws and legislations (i work in childcare) or about hair and make-up cos he wouldnt be bothered or interested-I think I get annoyed as I feel he doesnt consider this, Its all ok in moderation but sometimes I am exhausted and my toleration levels are lower I guess.
I know its all part and parcel of relationships

 

[LikeJohnnYoko]

Yeah I do the same sometimes but he can go on for an hour or more (not exaggerating). I sometimes feel that he doesn't consider what I would or others are interested in listening to, I wouldnt talk to him for hours about childcare laws and legislations (i work in childcare) or about hair and make-up cos he wouldnt be bothered or interested-I think I get annoyed as I feel he doesnt consider this, Its all ok in moderation but sometimes I am exhausted and my toleration levels are lower I guess.
I know its all part and parcel of relationships

Well, have you tried guiding the conversation, for instance asking him about something he is interested in that is slightly more interesting to you?

Otherwise I guess saying something like "I'm very sorry, but I am trying to concentrate on X [tv/the internet/reading a magazine] would it be possible that we talk about this some other time?"

If he doesn't take the hint, perhaps removing yourself to another room to do the activity you are wanting to may help.

 

[lisey27]

I have tried the steering the conversation but we will talk about the other thing and then he instantly goes back to the exact point he was at before lol, his parents are the same so I think its just how he has been brought up-they are all chatter boxes and go the longest way around a description. Don't get me wrong, we have lovely conversations that I am completely interested in but there are just times when my brain can't cope with the intensity. We are very different people in that sense, I am quite quiet and fairly laid back and he is talking from the second he wakes up and quite intense, I am sure sometimes he goes into a zone and isnt aware that he is going into quite so much detail.
I feel bad cos he is so lovely and I am so happy to be with him, its just this is the one thing I am finding quite difficult, I just wanted to know if its normal to feel this way. We have been together over 2 years but I my last serious relationship before him was 8 years before (I had other relationships in those years but no long-term) so I sometimes wonder if its just me still adjusting to being in a relationship and all the things that come with it, although, I thought I would be adjusted after this amount of time x