Should be a mummy today (

[longingforabump]

After a long journey, ttc for a year, a missed ruptured live ectopic which was removed on 11/09/10 at almost 13 wks and a miscarriage 9 weeks later at almost 6 weeks today is when my first bean should have been born.

Since my partner has left me as he 'cant cope with the stress' and i was made redundant. I moved to the area for him so am on my own. Feeling very lonely.

I have horrible scars from the operation and severe pains every month during ovulation

i feel very unsettled and lost and im not entirely sure what to do with myself. Im struggling and I dont want to feel like this anymore

I had the most perfect life and everything I ever wanted and now its all gone

 

[Nurse 26]

What a terrible time you have had hun. Can you try work things out with OH, sounds like you have both been through so much.

I would go and get that pain checked out hun, just incase. xx x x

 

[hayels]

sending u some massive loves xxxxxxxxx

 

[laurat]

Im really sorry honey! All I can say is I hope things get better for you soon! On here is a great place for support! Big Hugs!

 

[Cazza]

Sending lots of your way hunny xx

 

[kedi376]

I'm so sorry to hear you've had a terrible time. Where abouts do you live? Maybe some ladies on here live in your area? Or can you go visit some family and friends for a bit? Sending you hugs

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

I agree with the above post ^
Where abouts do you live? I'm sure one of the lovely ladies on PF doesn't live too far from you?
As for the OH, can you not work things out?

I understand you've been through a hell of a lot and my deepest sympathy and prayers go out to you.
Have you seen a GP? Perhaps you can be referred to counselling? I did and it helped me a lot when I was going through a rough patch.

I really hope things turn around for you.
Please don't wallow in your sadness any more, do something about it and turn your life around, only you are in control of that.

Also, scars are nothing to be worried about, I have one on my nose, loads of stretchmarks on my thighs which have now turned into scars, and a scar on my wrist from when I was a silly teenager. All very visible. My Dad also had two huge scars from the top of his neck going right down to his belly button, and the same on his back because of major heart surgery. We all live with scars so it seems! And it is possible to live with them. I thought my boyfriend would hate the scars on my thighs, but he doesn't at all. Plus he can't talk because he has scars all over his arms

Giving you very big hugs and lots of luck for your future.
Get some help sweetie, it's no good feeling like this.
xxxxxxx

 

[longingforabump]

Thanks all

Im in Swindon

He doesn't want to work things out, he wants to join the army and 'make something of himself'

Just wish he'd decided this before putting me through all this, making me leave eveything to move here for him!

 

[cosmicgirl]

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Then all I can suggest hun, and take it lightly if you would, leave him to his dreams and ambitions of 'making something of himself' and start your new life fresh.

Make new friends, find a new man and start a proper life all over again.
It is possible. The amount of men I thought were the 'one' and they never were, I went through a lot of pain and hurt and now I've found the one I'm about 99.9% he is the one anyway

Like I said in my previous post, you're in control of what happens and when. Start fresh and make so many new memories with your life. It's very well worth it trust me. xxxx

 

[1986princess]

so sorry hun what a shame you are going through this, ul get plenty of support on here xxxx

 

[Princess81]

loads of love hun what a horrible time you've had xx

 

[LouiseB]

I'm so sorry lfab

It's horrible having to read such a sad update.

Don't hang around and let yourself fall into a dark place, retreat back to your roots and surround yourself with the people that love you and they'll get you through.

You have nothing to lose, so go pack your bags.

There is nothing to stop your partner gettng in touch and attempting to rebuild your relationship if he changes his mind, but you can't hang around for that to happen

 

[Annie050408]

So sorry for your losses hon. xx

 

[weggi]

So sorry for you losses hun!

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh you have been through so much, so sorry Hun X

If your relationship is def ended and no hope to continue, It will be hard but a fresh start is what you need as some have mentioned. Choose where you want to go or go back home to where you came from and star again. you never know it could be that blessing just around the corner and be just what you needed.

If you like swindon, and it's quite nice to be honest , go for it, try to get your base there on your own and get out meeting new people.

Keep coming on here , there will be other girls on PF in or near swindon for you X

 

[longingforabump]

thanks all.

how do i find people from swindon on here?

Im sorta struggling at the moment and just need a bit of support, from people who will understand. My mum keeps saying ive gotta 'forget it and get over it' and that my tattoo with the date I lost my first baby is 'ridiculous' and that im being 'stupid' for getting upset about it. Oh and i 'shouldnt be thinking about having a baby' I should be focussing on my career even though ive been told by doctors to try to concieve sooner rather than later due to the condition of my other tube.

Even though my mum went through several miscarriages and i remember when i was younger her getting upset about them even though they happened before I was born so Im not getting much family support

I need help

 

[kedi376]

Maybe you could post a message in the lounge asking if there is anyone around the Swindon area? If you do find someone, just remember to be sensible, this is the internet after all.

I'm sorry your family are not being very supportive. xxx

 

[longingforabump]

Thanks. I've tried that. Nothing yet.

Maybe you could post a message in the lounge asking if there is anyone around the Swindon area? If you do find someone, just remember to be sensible, this is the internet after all.

I'm sorry your family are not being very supportive. xxx

 

[PrettyFx]

My heart and prayers are with you. No-one deserves to go through this; and I'm sorry to say this but your partner is selfish, your better off without him anyway, who needs someone who is going to desert them in their hour of need?

In regards to your Mother, I know you probably feel that she is being cruel, but it sounds like something my mum does when she wants me to get over something, which is try and make it seem like a small deal, even though she knows its a big deal, and is probably hurting for you.

Please don't let anyone make you believe your tattoo or grieving is pointless/ridiculous. Everyone handles grief differently, and you can't let anyone belittle you for it.

I don't live in swindon, I live in London, but I am happy to exchange email addresses/telephone numbers if you need any support my love.

I am so very sorry x