sex? and ur changing body?

[lisa&alex]

ok girls! this may be tmi. but i gotta get it off my chest..

me and alex have been married for 5 months.. we got pregnant after our honeymoon, before we got married i lost about 2/ 2/12 stone..and ive now put all that bk on again..and obviously my bellys grown.. basically naked i just look really fat..and a little bit pregnant..

well for about 10 weeks my hubby hasnt been able to....c*m, its really getting to me..i asked him yesterday, do u still fancy me.. he said course i do..

then i said is it coz ive put on weight, (theres weight thats not pregnancy weight) he said no,. maybe.. oh i dunno..i just felt crushed..

i know im gonna get bigger and im dealing with it..
but i put myself in his shoes.. if he was the one who put on 2 stone and i could see all his flab jiggling about i dont think i could orgasm either,

its not that the babys in there.. coz hes not soft when hes doing it..he takes care of my needs too..so hes not going for it being selfish..so im guessing hes just put off?

are any of ur partners going through the same? i know a few partners have mentioned fatty comments and stuff.. but what about ur sex lives? are they better or worse?

 

[**C**]

First of all you need to give him a firm telling off! We don't all go through pregnancy looking like Jordan did. Remind him that he married you because he loves you AND that YOU are now carrying HIS child.

If he's having problems then it's not your fault. Personally I'm off it completely at the moment!! My poor OH is really good about it though, I was like that with my last one.

The pregnant body is a strange thing....I lost a load of weight after my first and had wanted to shed another stone before getting pregnant again, but it didn't happen in time! Losing weight makes you feel great and when your pregnant and start to see it all going back on again it is a little disturbing!!

Listen to your body and go with it, after all its doing something incredibly special and amazing for you over then coming months. Weight comes off so don't feel down about it.

Your OH was probaby just being a man pig, and make him apologise

 

[Marmite]

I would have to echo what **C** said about his problems not being your fault, I also lost alot of weight before I got pregnant, I have now put the majority of that back on, and im sure theres more to come.

I do feel quite self concious at the moment of my body, have you told your OH how you feel about your body? Pehaps he doesnt realise that you feel down about how you look?

My OH wasnt able to c*m for about a week, I didnt actuly mention it, and he seems to be ok now, im sure it will pass for you OH aswell

 

[lisa&alex]

tbh.. i dont really think its his fault..i really dont...

i dont think he ment to say maybe. coz he said oh i dunno after it..the outward signs are there arnt they.. hes obviously stuggling with my changing body, i know he loves me and hes trying, he doesnt say bad things to me..and i truly do think he is trying.. but he cant help it if he isnt turned on by me can he..

 

[LinsG]

Insesitive men aren't they!? It sounds to me like he has no idea how you feel about your body, and that you might feel a little insecure.

My DH and i are going through a similar thing but the opposite way! He thinks my bump is really sexy and i have no interest whatsoever in sex. I think it's because i just don't feel comfortable in my body and not the slightest bit sexy!

I don't think that he would've meant to hurt you at all and he just didn't think about what he'd said. The fact that he hasn't c*m in a while will be playing on his mind too, and he may be putting pressure on himself, which in turn will make it even harder for him, vicious circle!

I hope it sorts itself out soon luv x

 

[kelsey]

Lisa, my o/h won't come near me and it's me who's the horny one He was the same with my last pregnancy too. He used to keep making excuses all the time until in the end I completely lost my cool with him. He then told me the real reason - he finds its too strange to have sex knowing theres a little person in there.

I'm accepting more this time round but its still frustrating. Maybe you two could sit down and have a chat about it.

 

[BabyLove]

.

 

[kelsey]

Carly - that's like reading my mind lol. Men hey

 

[Gruntie2]

I feel exactly the same way as u... I feel as though my DH does not fancy me anymore..... I too lost 3 1/2 stone.. haven't put a lot of it back on.. but now my tummy is growing feel really fat.... DH and i haven't done the deed since i found out i was preggers.... I want to.. its just my DH doesn't... i feel neglected... been 11 weeks now.... i'm allowed to do other things to him.. but he won't don anything for me .... feel so depressed about it sometimes.... feel unattractive...

 

[BabyLove]

.

 

[**C**]

I can't believe you're all saying these things

Men, especially younger men I'd say, don't know much about women at all and ESPECIALLY pregnant ones! I'd almost guarantee that the reason some of your blokes are behaving this way is because they're actually worried about hurting the baby, and the transformation from normal woman into pregnant woman with another human inside before their very eyes, is rather complicated for their tiny brains to process properly at times....and with men being men their ability to put their worries and emotions into words get's mixed up in the long, long distance from the brain to the mouth.

Having a child is the most amazing thing, and not all women are lucky enough to be blessed with this, so don't be hard on yourselves about your changing bodies!

Believe me, 10 years from now you'll look back and think "oh my god I was so thin and hot!"

 

[laetitia85]

mmmmh... i have mixed opinions when i read this. i am a bit mad at your DH, sorry!!! you're pregnant, therefore bound to put on some weight, even if it does get a bit out of control, it's not really your fault. he needs to understand that. but on the other hand, i think it's a physical thing that can't be controlled and even though i'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you in any way, physically he can't control this whole thing. i am not expert enough to tell you what you could try, especially because in my case, I'm the one who has gone off sex TOTALLY! it's a difficult one, he just needs to be more understanding and maybe the two of you can find new ways to satisfy each other. good luck

 

[lisa&alex]

thanks for the replys.. i spoke to him earlier..he said he didnt say it was coz im fat...im just gonna let it go, he said i love you, i love the baby stop being silly. so that will do for me...

 

[ella]

I think your right Lisa, I guarantee its nothing to do with your body, its just he is a little freaked that there is a little being inside you, and he is probably a little embarrassed too, give him lots of reassurence and you will both be fine. My DH is gone a bit weird about sex too, .

 

[BabyLove]

.

 

[Gruntie2]

Glad to hear u guys have discussed it and u feel better about it!!!!!

 

[Linda]

both my o/h and i are over weight,

i lost 2 stone before getting pregnant and in the last 10 weeks i've put a stone back on.

i suppose i'm lucky really, he has always know me to be big and loves me all the same no matter what size i am.

i do think your o/h was quite harsh but i think his 'problem' could be more psychological than him not fancying you because you have put some weight back on, it could be that he's scared of the wonderful changes that are happening to your body and doesnt quite know how to deal with them so he's used that as the first excuse he could think of.
if he takes time to satisfy you and gets aroused, he must still fancy you.

i wouldnt take it to heart, men are funny creatures at times, it happens to my o/h from time to time too but i doubt it's because he doesnt fancy me.

i hope it sorts itself out soon.

 

[**C**]

I think this sums it up nicely!

 

[BabyLove]

.

 

[lisa&alex]

lol.!!! i figure dont have sex till hes really gagging and let him take the lead with it..be all oldfashioned and womanly...im prettymuch always the 1 who starts things off, coz i probably want it more.. so i figure leave him take the reins if he wants it then come get it..hes bn talking aobut sex for 3 days solid.. so im guessing it wont be that long, we usually only get chance to do it at weekends these days, due to pregnancy, work, charlotte and tiredness (im usually in bed by 9 lol) so i shall update u when he finaly... lets go lol... and then throw rocks at him for the final resort