severe insomnia

[Kholl]

Ok, I've basically just copied this from my post in the Feb mamas thread, but I am desperate for any input or advice or even just commiseration here...

I am really, really struggling. My insomnia has reached a level that is starting to scare me. it takes me 2-3 hours to fall asleep every night, without fail, no matter what I've had that day or whether I've had caffeine or not or how exhausted I am. Then I wake up 5-10 times to pee overnight, and can usually fall asleep in a reasonable time, but when my daughter wakes me at night (another issue I've been emailing HER doctor about today) I'm awake for anywhere from 2-3 hours AGAIN until morning. Last night, for example, I finally fell asleep around 12:30 or 1am. My daughter woke me at 2:15am, and I have been awake ever since. I have had two opportunities to take a nap during the day today; both times I lay there for over an hour, exhausted to tears and unable to sleep. My body just refuses to sleep.

I am scared. I hate who I am these days. I am a terrible mom, a terrible wife. All I do is yell at my kids and cry. My daughter has missed gymnastics two weeks in a row because I am physically unable to drive. I am seeing stars, I am forgetting words constantly, my mouth and brain don't work. It's like pregnancy/mom brain on steroids. I'm terrified. My head is throbbing and I can't eat from sheer exhaustion. My husband works A LOT and very late, and I am on my own with the kids almost all the time. I am completely failing them and virtually unable to function from desperate fatigue. And yet whenever I get a chance to rest, my body won't sleep. It just won't sleep.

I have tried a (very expensive) weighted blanket, high-dose magnesium, whole30 diet, breathing exercises (4/7/8), sleep meditation recordings, 5htp, apple cider vinegar, melatonin, light therapy, cutting out caffeine completely, cutting out all screen time for a few hours before bed... nothing helps. Nothing does anything. Literally nothing does a single thing to help and I am in a desperate place. I can't do this until the baby is born. I can't.

All I've done today is weep and be horrible to the kids. This is my nightmare. I am dizzy and nauseated and have to force myself to eat. It's gotten so bad. I don't know what to do.

I just emailed my midwife and I hope she'll have advice. I am absolutely desperate at this point and ashamed of my horrible sleep-deprived behavior... I feel like I have done immeasurable and irreversible damage to my relationships with my husband and kids, and I don't see how I can make anything better when I'm feeling as utterly destroyed as I am right now.

Has anyone experienced this, and has any advice? Or can even just relate?

 

[WinterWolf]

Oh no, I feel for you. That must be horrible. It sounds like you've gotten worked up to the point where you're so stressed about needing to fall asleep, that you can't manage it anymore. I used to get like this all the time.

Sounds like you're mostly keen on natural remedies, but have you tried any proper sleeping tablets? It sounds like you're desperate enough and there are definitely ones that are safe to take when pregnant. Sleep is important for both of you so I'd say its worth giving them a shot. You'd have to ask a GP/Pharmacist which ones are best. The other thing I'd recommend you try is a cup of peppermint tea right before bed, that helps me. Its pregnancy safe too

I always find if I take a nap its much harder to sleep at night. So try and push through without having a lie down if you can. Easier said than done at 20 something weeks pregnant, I know!

If you do decide to try the sleeping tablets and they work, but your daughter is still waking you up - maybe she could have a sleepover with her grandparents for a night or two? It sounds like you need a break. Good luck, I really hope it improves for you x

 

[Kholl]

Thanks. I'm waiting to hear back from my midwife about what I can do...

I'd give anything to let the kids stay with grandparents or family for overnights but we don't have any family nearby. They're a 12-hour drive/2-hour plane ride away

 

[WildatHeart]

Hi Kholl,

I have experienced severe insomnia before so I honestly can sympathise with you and know just how horrible it is. From my experience, what I would say is that it was a mind thing; the more I fixated and worried about not sleeping the worse I would sleep, and the more I lay in bed willing myself the just sleep the less it would happen. I would just get myself more and more distressed.

I ended up reading a book called the effortless sleep method by Sasha Stephens which was brilliant and explained how powerful your mind can be influencing things like sleep. Some points from the book;

Don't look at the clock during the night and don't count how many hours you did/didn't sleep
During the day keep saying affirmations like. 'I am a good sleeper' ' I'm going to sleep really well tonight' (sounds weird but it helps!) every time you start worrying about sleep, say these.
If you wake up in the night, don't lie in bed awake for more than 20 minutes; get up and do something (I bought a puzzle book) and calm yourself down and then go back to bed when you start feeling sleepy

If you do get sleeping tablets just be careful and only use them for a couple of days as they can be really addictive (as I learnt)

I hope some of that helps. X

 

[alwayscoffee]

Girl, I feel ya. I think I'm starting to get a little bit of insomnia myself. I can usually fall asleep fast, but I pee at least 5 times a night and then by the 5th time, I'm awake. This morning, for example, I woke up at 2:30. Wide awake. Couldn't fall back asleep because my back was killing me. So I decided to just get up and do laundry and get ready for work. I haven't a good nights sleep since the second trimester started. I have no idea what to do either. Every single night I go through this routine. What has helped me though is not looking at the clock and not going to bed until I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open.

Maybe try benadryl? I haven't tried that yet, but I was told it's safe for pregnancy. I know that stuff knocks me out cold. It sounds like you might be to the point of seeing someone and getting a prescription since you've tried everything.

Hang in there. Hope it gets better for you!