seriously lazy teen boys

[pregpixie76]

ive got a13 and a 14 yr old sons and they are so god damn lazy.thier room should have a bio hazard sign on the door its that disgusting and when i get sick of the mess and stink i need gloves and lots of bleach and disinfectant spray to sort it out.
they make meals and dont clean up behind themselfs or think to wash the items used they still pee on the toilet seat and chuck everything at thier backsides.
when they are in a mood i end up with smashed doors or they break things.( i need to buy new solid doors for the whole of my house and thats gonna be an expense.
i told them they would be 10 quid a week pocket money if they started cleaning and doing as they should.not gave them any yet cause they havent changed.
i have fibromyalgia so im quite limited in what i can do but im the disabled one so whats thier excuse.
if anyone has any tips id be greatful.all i seem to do is shout at the mess and it goes in one ear and out the other.i want an organized house by the time the baby comes.and while ive been told in the past they have organization issues from a school psychologist the high school here has never followed up on it.
id so appreciate any help with this as i feel like im

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh dear Pregpixie, I wish I had the answer to help you, but I'm muddleing through myself, I do understand what your going through.

I have two boys 12 and 10 and a daughter 9, (they all have their birthdays Jan, feb and march so I will have a 13,12 and 10 then, plus I have a nearly 1 year old baby. (congratulations on your pregnancy by the way).

They all do just the same with their rooms as yours, there a right mess. We stand there and make them do it, giving instructions with each and every peice of bedroom rubble where needed!! (boys!) and if they do it in the two hours or so when asked , they get pocket money, if not we keep it! We got to the stage that they did it at the weekend, took the pocket money, (which we put up to give more incentive), they only get £1 , £2 and £3 a week for 9, 10 and then 12 year old, going up by 50p each birthday, my daughters will go up a £1 tho on her birthday to match what we pay the 10 year old now. But then they trashed the room all week till the weekend, so they now only get a 5th split of the money each time they do their room, (have to do it 5 days ), eg for eldest gets 60p a time for times cleaning it, wed to sunday, as we are really busy mon and tues! Time will tell if this works tho!

My eldest who is always hungry, is the only one who is allowed to make snacks etc , and he always makes a mess, he is just not aware of the mess he makes! My biggest mistake was to clean up around him as i wanted it sorted, now I call him back to sort out any mess , plates not taken out, messy counters, etc, he will get it in the end , but it's a bit painful and slow at the moment! You might want to try this, he needs to see what he is doing, as he has no idea till I point it out.

I can't get mine to sleep , the two boys share a room and fight all the time, so any tips on that would be gratefully recieved!!, they always end up waking the baby at bedtime for them.. We play background noise cd for the baby in our room, to cover some of the noise they all make doing teath, going past his door and going to bed etc, well worth it as Ive ended up with a light sleeping baby!

I think it's the senior school age, as my second boy (10) is much better than the 12 year old, their brain seems to fall out and the attitude arrives....

Hang in there, any small changes you can make , can only help over time.

 

[pregpixie76]

its nearly 2am and my boys are still up.....its worth taking away thier fave things ie internet games from games console mobile phones ( doesnt work with mine but could work with yours)i used to start counting and my kids would get scared.i cant remember what the threat was with the counting but it soon got them moving.its hard being consistent.i threaten to turn the electric off when they are really annoying me and the youngest really hates that and that works...guess i should do it more often lol

 

[JJ Mum]

Ha yes, trying laptop ban the next day if they play me up at bedtime!! see how that goes.

Only one has a phone at mo, don't like them having too many electronic stuff yet, but they saved xmas and bday money for about year and a half for the laptops, so had to let them buy them....

My daughter is behaving at mo, seems to want to please me more , oh the boys....

What did you say the next morning after yours stayed up till 2 am?

 

[naima]

I know the feeling. My son is pretty lazy and it just a headache everyday to have to scold him forever before he does something. And I am pretty scared since he'll be starting boarding school soon and I shudder to think on what mess he'll be bringing there. He makes an effort now since I keep saying I won't be there with him when he goes to school and I guess he gets it but the progress is just slow. Hopefully, he starts to change his ways and not be lazy anymore. A parent can only hope I guess.

 

[naima]

Oh, and he even let me pack his stuff because he doesn't know how to do it. I really am worried for him there. *sigh*

 

[suzzi]

its so difficult with teenagers i have 2 a girl 15 who is so tidy and cleans her room to perfection and a 16 year old lad who has always been messy, we have taken away his xbox laptop etc, grounded him till its clean. the only think that we find works is telling him to clean his room and put things away and what he doesnt put away properly gets bagged up and thrown in the bin !!! bit harsh and we didnt really throw them away for real just put them in the bin x he went mental and fished them out but thought we were serious, he still isnt mega clean but he does tidy up better now if hes pushed.

the breaking doors etc hes done that to out of temper we went to mediation as it stemed from me and his dad splitting and his anger at his sister