Seeing the only friend who knows tomorrow

[babyphoenix]

My male-to-female transgender friend, one of my best friends, was the only person I told about my pregnancy because me and her spoke a lot, like were on skype every day, and she was the only one who knew we were trying at all. But when I told her, I was overjoyed and then later that night she told me she took an overdose because of it. I nearly ended up in A&E with her that night getting her stomach pumped but she ended up just throwing it up instead and not going.

Then when I miscarried I told her but we haven't really spoke since. I honestly just feel bitter about the fact I spent the 5 days I knew I was pregnant feeling guilty about that instead of celebrating. And tomorrow I'm going to go to my friends house as he is leaving the city and it will be my last chance to see him and also I'm buying a bass guitar off him. But the above friend is going to be there. And I've not been speaking to her and she knows I haven't been speaking to her.

This is gonna be awkward but I don't want to miss up on seeing my friend for the last time. I could just bank transfer him the money and he could leave the bass behind for me as his friends live in that flat with him and I could collect later, but it'll be the last chance to see my friend for a while so I want to go .

Not looking forward to this awkwardness. I don't hate her I just really feel like shutting myself off for a while y'know?

 

[MrsHttc]

I would still go if I were you. Don't let anyone stop you from going, especially when you've done nothing wrong.
To be honest, I'd be really quite mad with your friend for making you feel that way. I mean, I don't know her so I might be jumping the gun, but you shouldn't of been made to feel guilty for being pregnant x

 

[babyphoenix]

I am angry. I just can't show it because that would also be unfair. I still want to go and I know I shouldn't feel like I can't go, but I don't want to now

It's also her birthday tomorrow. :/

 

[Lou1103]

I agree, u should go.
It's one thing doing that but why did she have to tell u that was the reason :s xxx

 

[babyphoenix]

I can't remember if she actually told me - she wrote it on her online blog that she knows I read about how she was so jealous and wanted to self harm.

 

[hopewishdream]

oh sweetheart that is so sad

I think you should go. This friend already robbed you of the joy of your pregnancy don't let her rob you of your chance to see your friend.

Does she want a family of her own is that why she responded the way so did? You never know she might be pleased to see you?

I hope it goes well xxx

 

[babyphoenix]

That's exactly it, she does want a family of her own but obviously can't naturally. It wasn't exactly something she ever talked about so how was I supposed to know it was a touchy subject? I'd been talking to her all along since September when I started TTC and she was excited and "couldn't wait" til I got my positive.


She prob will be pleased to see me, it's just a bit awkward for me is all ._.