Second, third, fourth time moms.....

[Bubalu]

The advice we get is so conflicting. Medical science says that it's best to have your children younger but society has suddenly decided that women should have careers first. Then of course when they do have their careers, they are made to feel guilty for taking maternity leave and also guilty for leaving children to go back to work. I am a much older first time expectant mum and am now wishing that I didn't wait so long. My brother got married young and they had their kids in early 20s. Their kids are now at ages that are more independent and so bro and SIL are now getting their own lives back while they are still relatively young. They have done a fantastic job with raising 3 kids and SIL was also able to build a career.

For my mums generation, having kids in late teens early 20s was normal and my aunt was called a geriatric mum (or something like that) cos she didn't conceive til she was 27!!!

I wonder what society will decide next!

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi,

I think it's natural to feel guilty about the impact on your first baby of a number 2!!! When I was expecting my 2nd I wasn't entirely sure how I could love another child as much as my first baby, or see it as separate but believe me, once LO has arrived you do!!! I must admit, I felt a little confused when Rose was born as she looked just like Daisy, and when I first fed her it felt a little odd as I'd fed Daisy for 16 months but I very soon got over that!!! I'm not so worried about the love thing this time, am terrified of the practicalities though (am totally with you there Inkpen, ha ha!!)

As for young Mums, I really think it is down to individual choice but obviously as one gets older the risks do go up. I know someone who has recently had a hysterectomy at 26 due to a huge fibroid (luckily she's got 2 kids but if that'd been me I would never have had 1!!!) so these things can happen, and none of us really knows what is around the corner. I'd say the right time is when you feel ready.

 

[fuffins1981]

My son was not planned. But am glad I had him. I always said then, if i could not have anymore, at least I was blessed with one.

I agree with you Lucy (I know your name now ) Just has to be when the time is right for individuals. It should not be dictated by anything else.

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya,

Yeah, my username is the combined names of my girlies.

My first DD wasn't planned either (was in a stable relationship but we weren't living together). It's been tough and things are hardly ideal now but I am so so glad I had her too - goodness knows when and if I would have started otherwise!!!

 

[fuffins1981]

I ended up sinlge after 3 months of being pregnant. But have never regretted having him. It is hard at times. But, he is evidence that I was put here for a purpose