Second mmc

[Rayxxx123]

No heartbeat found today, am going for an erpc on wednesday as im to scared to misscarry at home. Someone told me il have to wait 3 months to try again is this true? Last year when i had this op they said i could try straight away. Im not going to wait 3 months can i ignore them? i hate this emotional pain i know its only gunna get worse. Has anyone had tests after 2 mcs? I got told i can ask my gp but its not gurantee theyll do anything, sorry for all the questions x

 

[Lou1103]

such horrible news hun, i dont know anything about erpc really but i know someone who's just had her 3rd mc but only now theyre going to start investigating. Not sure if it depends on where you live, she's in the west mids xxx

 

[lottie89]

Hi hun sorry for your loss I don't see why not on trying again straight away if you feel ready. I think the person who told you has got it mixed up with a methotrexate shot as you need to wait 3 months for that to get out your system. Fx for a sticky bean

xx

 

[Katkin72]

Hi Rayxxx123 - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss I've just posted in your other thread but wanted to try to answer some of your questions if I can.
I don't know how many weeks you were, but when I started spotting I was just under 7 weeks. I went for a scan and they told me they couldnt find a heartbeat. Because the baby's measurements were just under the guidelines for a viable pregnancy they told me i had to return for a 2nd scan in a week in case they were wrong It was torture. They told me my options and I was adamant I wanted to do it naturally, but after a week of just light spotting and a 2nd scan that confirmed the worst, I decided I couldn't take any more and opted for a D&C as my body just wasn't letting go. It was a heartbreaking decision. After my surgery I was told not to have sex for about 2 weeks as there is a risk of infection but after that I was ok to start trying again. So, that's what we did!
In November I had a very early mc - I went to my GP but was told I couldn't be referred for any tests till I had had 3 mcs

Thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs xxxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

sorry to hear this. two MC in a row is horrid.
I had 2 x MMC in a row and I got to have all the tests done.
It all came back negative.
And here I am 3rd time lucky so far - well ive mde it to second trimester!!!
My gp was very understanding and i think i bamboozled him with so many questions that he referred me!
Good luck with that, so sorry you are going through this, yes a horrid emotional time, x

 

[lisey]

Hi hun,

sorry you're going through this. I dont know about the waiting time after the op before ttc but I have had 2 miscarriages and they said I wouldnt be referred as its very common to have 2 miscarriages I think its very unfair, I think I have read that it depends on age, for example, if you are over 35 they refer you after 2 but I am not 100% sure. Take care of yourself hun x

 

[Corrinne37]

oh yes i think lisey may be right.
I was 37 when had 2nd MC so may be why they referred me not sure, worth a try though?
As for trying again, I was told that emotionally you are better waiting 3 cycles but physically your body is ready after 1 cycle.
It is up to you when you feel ready, and ready and strong enough to go through tri 1 again, which is an swful anxiety ridden time and you have to be prepared for the possibility that it could happen again.

Someone once said to me 'its like the roll of a dice' whether you get a good egg or bad. And harsh as it is that is the reality. Pregnancy does not work out if it isnt meant to and viable. xxxxx

 

[Katkin72]

Hi hun,

sorry you're going through this. I dont know about the waiting time after the op before ttc but I have had 2 miscarriages and they said I wouldnt be referred as its very common to have 2 miscarriages I think its very unfair, I think I have read that it depends on age, for example, if you are over 35 they refer you after 2 but I am not 100% sure. Take care of yourself hun x

Sadly with me this wasn't the case, I am 40 but still have to wait till I've had 3 mcs before they will help

 

[can]

hey hun really sorry to heare this, i to have had 2 mc in a row one at 6 weeks and one at 8 weeks, i went to the gp but was told has to be 3 in a row to get refered as 2 is still common. I tried straight away after 1st natural mc and i caught straight away however that ended in my second mc which i had the erpc on the 25 january. was trying staright away but just got my af exactly 4 weeks after so guess thats my body trying to get back on track. Do whatever feels right for you, im going to be ttc this cycle and see what happens

 

[Iwant3]

sorry for you 2nd loss - i have no experience of erpc but from what i have read you can try straight away after natural mc and erpc unless otherwise instructed by your doc due to a personal complication you may have.

I was told today that i would have to have 3 mc to get any tests done too

 

[lisey]

Hi hun,

sorry you're going through this. I dont know about the waiting time after the op before ttc but I have had 2 miscarriages and they said I wouldnt be referred as its very common to have 2 miscarriages I think its very unfair, I think I have read that it depends on age, for example, if you are over 35 they refer you after 2 but I am not 100% sure. Take care of yourself hun x

Sadly with me this wasn't the case, I am 40 but still have to wait till I've had 3 mcs before they will help

Its terrible that they let us suffer like this. Seems that its all postcode lottery to if they offer help x

 

[can]

I know its rubbish, feel like they are punishing you. When was at the epu straight after being told there was no heartbeat a nurse said wait 6-9 monthes my husband asked her why and she said well its up to you its just my opinion. went to gp she said you can try straight away, so much inconsistant advice. the doctor said only advice i can give you is to relax.......yeah right!!!

 

[Katkin72]

Hi hun,

sorry you're going through this. I dont know about the waiting time after the op before ttc but I have had 2 miscarriages and they said I wouldnt be referred as its very common to have 2 miscarriages I think its very unfair, I think I have read that it depends on age, for example, if you are over 35 they refer you after 2 but I am not 100% sure. Take care of yourself hun x

Sadly with me this wasn't the case, I am 40 but still have to wait till I've had 3 mcs before they will help

Its terrible that they let us suffer like this. Seems that its all postcode lottery to if they offer help x

Yeah it's really crap isn't it xxx

I know its rubbish, feel like they are punishing you. When was at the epu straight after being told there was no heartbeat a nurse said wait 6-9 monthes my husband asked her why and she said well its up to you its just my opinion. went to gp she said you can try straight away, so much inconsistant advice. the doctor said only advice i can give you is to relax.......yeah right!!!

Wow, that wasn't very sensitive of your GP! I think they should all be given training on how to support patients who have gone through mcs as they don't seem to have a clue how hurtful their comments can be xxx

 

[Rayxxx123]

Thank u for all the advice im not going to listen to them, will try at the gp anyway think oh wants to wait abit for me to get back to normal and be strong for the next time.dont want to but il have to listen to him. and Thanks corinne for ur positive story i love to hear things like that really helps me xxx ive started getting lower back ache and periody cramps scared its going to happen before wednesday ive alwYs been terrified of natural m/c xxx

 

[Rayxxx123]

6-9 months is stupid advice. They can be so cold sometimes cant they even though they deal with it so much they should be sensitive to everyone x

 

[Rayxxx123]

Oh god im panicking now my cramps are gettin bad. Will i see anything come out? Is it really painful?

 

[tabbi]

I'm going through a natural m/c atm hunni. It only started this afternoon and am in such pain.
If you want someone talk to who is going through the same thing, I can talk x x x

 

[can]

i know she didnt even have a valid reason for saying that!!! They are so cold and dont seem to care. fed up now dwelling on it all. Gona pick myself up, dust down and get back ttc and hope it will be 3rd time lucky

 

[Rayxxx123]

THanks Hun xx it hasnt started yet i dont want it to because i am on my own aswell i really want my oh.

 

[Rayxxx123]

I am thinkin 3rd time lucky too hope i can take some of ur positive attitude once this mc is over x i think u get some nice people but majority are cold even if its an early loss it still affects u loads xx