Scared something's wrong. I don't feel pregnant

[SmithyBaby]

Hi all,

I have been very lucky with a relatively easy pregnancy so far with no vomiting or real aches or pains. I've only had sore nipples, some tiredness and occasionally feeling a bit of nausea. I'm nearly 8 weeks and if I hadn't POAS a million times to confirm I don't think I would know. (It is a far cry from my early loss at 5 weeks where I had a lot of pain and bloating and eventually bleeding and loss).

Anyway, my point of this post is that will the midwife listen for a heartbeat or scan for the baby in some way? I have this overwhelming and horrifying feeling that something is wrong because I'm not experiencing symptoms. Waiting until next week is already torturing me and we haven't told anyone yet at all as I won't let my OH for fear something bad will happen. I also keep getting a recurring dream that there is just a sac and no baby which is my biggest fear. Can anyone help me settle a bit or is it literally a waiting game to see if all is okay? Sorry I'm just really scared and emotional this morning and this is our first baby.

 

[Shanivy]

Hi SmithyBaby

Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy. I've yet to know a woman who wasn't terrified before her 12 week scan, or convinced something is wrong. Especially with a loss previously. If you can, you could get an early scan to reassure you.

But midwife won't listen for the heartbeat now until after 24 weeks usually. When I had my daughter it was 16, but now they've changed it as it's still hard for even them to find at that stage with a Doppler.

At nearly 8 weeks there's a chance symptoms might start to hit you now but everyone is different, and every pregnancy. So don't let that convince you there's a problem. With my daughter I had no sickness etc until I was 10 weeks and it wasn't much at all. And not much else the entire time. With this baby I've been ill my entire pregnancy with morning sickness, bugs, pain bleeding, everything and she's perfectly fine. Really and truly every pregnancy is different don't let others experiences make you think yours isn't right.

You're in for a emotional ride hun, but I'm sure baby is absolutely fine. The best you can do is try to relax and enjoy it. As soon as you get through your first scan , the worry does start to ease a little and it feels more real. Good luck xx

 

[Firecracker]

Morning, are you going for an early scan at all? I had the same worries as you, I had just sore nipples and felt a bit tired other than that I was completely normal so we booked a early viability scan at 8 weeks (turns out I was actually 6+6) but we saw a heartbeat and all was fine.

What appointment do you have in a week? At our booking appointment (I was 9.5 weeks), I asked if we could hear the heartbeat and the midwife said no, that it is too early and that we'd need to wait until the 12 week scan. I think I have seen some ladies on here mention their midwife did listen for the heartbeat, but I cannot confirm at which appointment it was.

Hope that helps, sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear. x

 

[SmithyBaby]

Thanks everyone, it's good to hear I'm not being a crazy person and I'm not alone with this fear. You are all so lovely and supportive.
She didn't mention what it was just that she would be an hour or so and I think she said she would come to my house, I need to confirm this actually. So I assumed it was medical history etc? It just blows my mind that the GP took my word for it that I am pregnant and no checks are done until so late. I think I may have to pay for an early scan just to make sure there's a heartbeat and baby is okay for now. I have enjoyed it on and off but this fear has been niggling away at my brain and I just felt consumed by it this morning xxx

 

[WinterWolf]

If there was just an empty sac and no baby you probably would've started bleeding by 8 weeks. If you're tired, your nipples hurt and you've had a bit of nausea, then you are getting signs you're pregnant. They're just mild, which is fine. Maybe book an early scan if you need reassurance, but I think you're alright.

My GP took my word for it too, haha. She said HPTs are super accurate now so there's no point in them confirming it.

 

[SmithyBaby]

Thanks everyone, I bit the bullet and decided to book and pay for an early scan for tomorrow. I just think it will stop me being a crazy person for a couple of days at least and then I can start worrying for the next one but seriously you guys are right and I feel more relaxed that I will know tomorrow morning x

 

[Shanivy]

Hopefully that scan helps you relax hun. If it's your first appointment next week, so I'm assuming your booking appointment, you definitely won't hear a heatbeat . Baby is tiny and midwife wouldn't even try at 8 weeks. But now you have the scan, you'll be able to see it yourself anyway.

Booking appointment is just where you confirm your last period date, do medical history, height, weight, bp etc, discuss your following appointments, maybe book in for your 12 week scan, ask any questions etc. It's fairly straightforward.

Good luck for tomorrow hun and I'm sure seeing baby will help loads xx

 

[MoominGirl]

I've also been very lucky with symptoms. It's great that I feel so well when others aren't so lucky but even now I still don't feel pregnant. It's not exactly reassuring. We also had an early scan as it just helped settle us as we had been trying for so long and didn't expect it to actually happen. It was well worth it in my experience so hopefully it's the same for you. Since then I've just been focusing on what comes next as even just seeing the midwife feels positive. I'm sure it will start to feel more real once I start showing or feel movement.

 

[SmithyBaby]

Yes I know what you mean MoominGirl it's a blessing in some ways but it's worrying in others. I'm just praying it's positive news in a few hours time and then I can relax a bit until I see my midwife later in the week. Hopefully she will tell me off for being so silly also it will make it easier telling parents the news this week as i won't be constantly worrying. Who knew this pregnancy business was so stressful, I always thought I would be this happy and blooming stress free mum. Soooo wrong

 

[SmithyBaby]

Quick update about my scan this morning!

So, I have mixed emotions after it at the moment. Was so lovely to see the little heartbeat flashing away and the sonographer was very helpful and put me at ease after everything. However, the little bean is only measuring 6w1d at the moment which is way behind where I thought I was. I just don't think I can be that wrong about conception even though it's hard to judge seeing as I didn't have a period. I asked her and she said they can just grow slowly sometimes and not to worry as everything looked perfect. So one part of me is trusting her and thinking I've just got a slow growing bean but I am a teeny tiny bit concerned that the weeks are so out. Either way I feel way more relaxed than I was before so that's a bonus I guess and the biggest relief was seeing the little sac, the bean and the heartbeat were all good. Thanks everyone for all your help.

 

[Cloughie81]

Glad that the scan went ok.... my wife is having the same symptoms as you... apparently we're 8+2, but after reading the above we may be way out too... how much was the private scan? Hope you don't mind me asking.

By the way....big congratulations

 

[MoominGirl]

Quick update about my scan this morning!

So, I have mixed emotions after it at the moment. Was so lovely to see the little heartbeat flashing away and the sonographer was very helpful and put me at ease after everything. However, the little bean is only measuring 6w1d at the moment which is way behind where I thought I was. I just don't think I can be that wrong about conception even though it's hard to judge seeing as I didn't have a period. I asked her and she said they can just grow slowly sometimes and not to worry as everything looked perfect. So one part of me is trusting her and thinking I've just got a slow growing bean but I am a teeny tiny bit concerned that the weeks are so out. Either way I feel way more relaxed than I was before so that's a bonus I guess and the biggest relief was seeing the little sac, the bean and the heartbeat were all good. Thanks everyone for all your help.

So glad it went well. Remember when a pregnancy is dated based on LMP it assumes a 28 day cycle with ovulation on day 14. As you didn't have a period, it's very possible that you ovulated later which would explain it. Try not to worry but I know it's hard. Seeing a heartbeat is a very good sign.

 

[SmithyBaby]

The scan was £89 but it was lovely and she knew what she was doing as she also works at the local hospital. They gave us photos and talked through everything on screen. It was worth it as I feel much more relaxed about the whole thing. I don't think I could have made it to 12 weeks without knowing anything at all.

 

[Shanivy]

Glad you saw a heartbeat hun. Your dates could be wrong if you have your cycle length slightly off. When you see your midwife, she'll work it out for you based on your cycle length and that could make all the difference. Late ovulation and implantation can change things too

Either way just concentrate on that little heartbeat. Early scans can do that, I've seen plenty of ladies here be concerned about the dates of a 6-7 week scan for nothing. Xx