Routine?!

[dannii87]

Aww my Mum's ordered Gina Ford's parenting book about routines etc! I said I was interested in reading up about how you organise routines etc because I'm really unorganised and forget stuff like topping & tailing Then I do it in the afternoon because I forgot in the morning and I'm then in a mad rush trying to get everything sorted before I forget!!

So, I need SOME kind of routine, not for Evie, for me lol.

Anyway, my question is... How can I rearrange the routine that Evie seems to have got herself into!!

She currently is a pain in the bum in the mornings, whiney, whingey, nothing seems to make her content, miserable, feeding every hour or two but not sleeping between feeds... Early afternoon is the same, if not a little more whingey.

Around 3 or 4pm, she settles off to sleep with maybe 2 or 3 feeds inbetween til about 10pm (between feeds she'll sometimes settle back down) and then is wide awake during the night!! It's absolutely crazy!!

 

[purple13]

i can understand you wanting some sort of order to your day hon, but TBH its really quite difficult when you're bf-ing in the early days; please try not to take any advice on feeding every x hours, cos it just doesn't work like that. i won't comment on your mum's shopping cos i'm not allowed

we let connor fall into his own routine - he discovered bedtime at about 4 months, lol! other people have more luck than us though for the most part, then and still now, he fits around what we want to do. we get up at 7am, and cos we co-sleep connor wakes up then too. at first he used to go to bed with us late in the evening and our days would just be a blur of feeding, changing and naps, with the odd walk to the shops. its no different now except that connor doesn't generally sleep during the day!

evie will figure out that night time is for sleeping soon enough - it just takes a little time. make sure that any daytime naps are in daytime environment and when she's awake at night, make sure its dark and quiet - make it boring for her.

if you want a routine, set something that works for you, but bear in mind that evie might not agree - especially as far as feeds go. don't worry if you forget stuff - who's to care?! just enjoy your time with evie in your own way. if she's whingy at particular times, maybe take her for a walk at those times, or sling her round the house if you can?

i think what i'm trying to say (badly) is that by all means find a routine, but do one that works for you and evie - and don't be a slave to it if it makes you unhappy.

 

[newmum]

hi Dannii,
There are different things you can do to help babies get into a routine and I am sure some posts will come along soon with ideas, but I just wanted to say that Evie is still really tiny and it might take a while for her to change her 'inner clock.' My LO also had her own funny routine and was awake loads like you described. I tried lots of things but nothing really worked because her own rhythm was stronger than the day/night thing. But every few weeks she would adjust her timing slightly until eventually it became more reasonable. But she did it by herself as she got older rather than responding to making it dark in the evenings, quiet and boring etc and the day time more noisy and active etc.

Other babies seem to change it really quickly and figure out the whole day and night time patterns early on. Hope that is Evie for you It is really tough especially as they wake up just as you are ready to sleep - you have all my understanding!!

oh and for me, as soon as I thought she had settled into a routine, she changed it

 

[tinkerbell*]

hi'ya my lovely! 1st of all a belated HUGE congrats on yur gorgeous little princesss.
i have to say that... i have read gina fords book. i read it and re-read it whilst pregnant and i was so determined to make it work, for mine and theos sake. she makes it sound soooo simple and it makes total sence. we even wrote up her routine and put it on the wall to try and keep to it. but...... babies are not robots and unless you have a robot... then it seems totally impossible to keep to her routine, especially on a babies so young. we were having to wake theo up from sleeps and keep try keep him awake untill "she said" we shoould. it was madness! her routine looks like this:

Wake up - 7am
Feed 7-7:30am
Nap - 8:30 - 10am
awake - 10am
feed - 10 - 10:30am
nap - 11:30 - 2pm
awake - 2pm
feed - 2 - 2:30pm
Nap 4 -5pm
awake - 5pm
bedtime 7pm - 10pm
Awake 10pm
Feed - 10 - 10:30
sleep - 11pm - 2pm
feed - 2pm - 3pm
Sleep - 3pm - 7am


ITS IMPOSSIBLE! it would possible work for babies 6months plus... im gussing, but acording to gina ford, by then its too late and aparently babies will already have bad sleep assosiation!

its all very complicated!!!! there are lots of rules you have to follow for it to work, but from the routine im sure it looks insane to you knowing what evies natural routine is now???

let me know how you get on if you do choose to try it out! good luck.

lots love x

 

[kellyandbump]

I was the same as Tinkerbell and bought this book while pregnant. All I can say is good luck with it. I would love this women to come and try her routines out on Chloe, most days she can sleep for about 16 - 18 hours. Today she has slept since 10.00 apart from feed times but she did have her eight week injections today. But on a positive note Chloe appeared to work out the difference between day and night when she was about five weeks old. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Redshoes]

You and Evie will work out a routine together, don't let a book tell you what will work for you You can introduce a routine for things like bathtime, awake time etc, but Evie will have to agree hehe She is tiny still, as she grows it will become easier to find a routine, very best wishes

 

[Sherlock]

I'd throw that book out the window tbh. As has been said, babies are babies, not robots.

FWIW being BF I'd just go with the flow and as Evie adjusts to day and night and her tummy matures (around 12 weeks) she'll start to settle into her own routine and as she does so you can then slowly adjust it to suit yours It takes a fair few weeks for sleeping through to happen. Babies are not born with the ability to recognise night and day.

Evie is still very small so the only things I'd be looking to introduce would be a bedtime pattern that is flexible. I didn't bath Galen till he was 10 days old and then only once or twice a week for a few weeks. I topped and tailed every evening and got him ready for bed around 6-7pm. He would then usually sleep in his basket downstairs till we went up to bed and we just took him with us. And then he would wake whenever for his next feed, sometimes 11ish, othertimes midnight or beyond. He slowly fell into his own pattern for feeding over about 6 weeks.

Things like topping and tailing can be done any time of day. But if you try to settle into doing it around the same time it will mean Evie will adjust and recognise the pattern as she grows. If Galen was awake in the evenings I'd make them pretty boring for him also. Not much talking or eye contact, just cuddle him and keep the lights dim etc. Same at night. Tiny night light, no talking or eye contact when feeding or inbetween and slowly his body started to fall in with that pattern. Make the days more active even if she sleeps. Have noise in the background, take her out, fresh air and so on. Slowly she should start to adjust to the differences.

 

[Steelgoddess]

You cold make a mini rountine like you say just to keep your sanity?

Top and tail every morning
YOU go to bed at the same time each night
Bath her every other night

Thoise types of things. At the same time don't bend over backwards, just as long as Evie has loads of cuddles and kisses and hr milky from you shes a happy camper...

xx

 

[Becky]

I think Sharne has the right idea - we did a similar loose routine with Lucy. Nothing set in stone but going to bed, or at least going upstairs at a certain time helped us a lot. We tried to make a difference to night and day by keeping lights off or low etc.

Other than that I wouldn't worry too much about a set routine at this stage.

 

[loz]

She's so little still - dont pressure yourself into a routine just go with the flow. She will cry a lot, want loads of feeding and cuddles, that's all normal. She will be awake all night and asleep all day - that's all normal too! They do slot into a natural routine and know day from night eventually. I wouldnt worry until 3 months!!!

Well done for getting through the 1st week!

 

[dannii87]

Thanks ladies again for your advice! You're right, she's too tiny to start routines with feeding & awake time, I meant more for ME. Like Sharne said, I could have a bath at night, go to bed soon after, top & tail each morning etc... That's what I meant - Sorry for the confusion!

When she's a bit older, I'll try more of a routine then. I'm not a fan of routines as such (like obsessive ones!) My friend's Mum used to do it to the extreme and was a very depressed and upset Mum, always on edge in case things didn't go to "plan". If I went round for tea, she'd need to know what I wanted to eat a few days beforehand so she could get it in. She was a bit wierd tbh! Kinda scared me off routines lol.

 

[Hazel]

We've been very lucky from the beginning. She has slept from 7pm to 7am from the start. I have been quite strict with a routine as we we took her to a party one night and didn't get home until 1am and it mucked up her sleep pattern for days so now I make sure we are home by 7pm for her bottle and then she goes down to sleep for the night. I always take her out for a walk or a drive every afternoon about 5pm ish so she gets some fresh air which knocks her out for the night . She is awake all day and there is a lot going on in our house so she's watching me all day. We took her to the seaside the other afternoon and she slept for nearly 6 hours that eveing without waking for a bottle!! All that fresh sea air must be good for babies .

 

[Squiglet]

Just wait.... boobie babies tend to fall into a routine. Free booby is the best thing right now. Just make sure you make a difference between night and day. Daytime naps are light and noisy, night time is quiet and dark... have specific clothing for night time, and have a "routine" like sharne says for the evening time so she is aware of the run down for bed... She will strive on that. The harshest part of a routine right now can be to make sure she gets up at the same time everyday and goes down at the same time every night, everything else is relative.

Do not try and make a routine out of feeding yet, not until you introduce solids... You will get stressed your baby will get hungry and it will potentially damage your supply of milk. One of the reasons they say breast fed babies don't tend to have as many weight issues is because they are trained from an early age to eat only when they are hungry and only take enough to fill them as they always have milk on offer. Just feed her often and whenever...

 

[sarah2807]

hi'ya my lovely! 1st of all a belated HUGE congrats on yur gorgeous little princesss.
i have to say that... i have read gina fords book. i read it and re-read it whilst pregnant and i was so determined to make it work, for mine and theos sake. she makes it sound soooo simple and it makes total sence. we even wrote up her routine and put it on the wall to try and keep to it. but...... babies are not robots and unless you have a robot... then it seems totally impossible to keep to her routine, especially on a babies so young. we were having to wake theo up from sleeps and keep try keep him awake untill "she said" we shoould. it was madness! quote]

I did the exact same thing and really thought it sounded easy then as soon as my Lo arrived I realised it wasn't as easy as it sounded, especially cos my baby hates daytime sleep, cat naps and struggles to settle herself in the day it was almost impossible for me to follow the routine!! I wish i could!

However....Violet sorted herself in her own routine really...we just made sure we bathed her at a similar time each night and ut her to bed at a similar time then we gradually moved the bedtime earlier cos she was tired and needed to go to sleep.

You'll get there hun....don't worry...it takes a few weeks.

 

[Sage]

heehee welcome to the wonderful world of newborns and disorganisation!

I found i was totally disorganised when i first had ky everything revolved around him and grabbing sleep when i could.

My tips would be.

SLEEP WHEN SHE SLEEPS AT HOME!! the most important of all. you just cant think clearly if you dont cat nap like the baby. Just dont have a night time and day time, literally kip when she does.

List of things you need to do on the fridge so if you forget they are there!

Keep a baby bag stocked in the house somewhere with a couple nappies, wipes, bibs, change of clothes etc so when you do go out you may only need to stock up and not make up a whole bag.

Stock up on quick foods that you can make to eat. i really did forget to eat at times when ky was a newborn!

when she is asleep and you dont nap put your feet up and have some YOU time or you'll go insane!

You dont need to be any more organised than that your a mummy not superwoman

 

[kalia]

When DD is whingey take her out in the pushchair. Then she sleeps if she's tired or looks round if she's awake. From very little I would take her out every afternoon because she would get so grouchy! It might help

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

If Galen was awake in the evenings I'd make them pretty boring for him also. Not much talking or eye contact, just cuddle him and keep the lights dim etc. Same at night. Tiny night light, no talking or eye contact when feeding or inbetween and slowly his body started to fall in with that pattern..

That is exactly what my HV said about night time. We were finding it difficult to get Aimee settled after her night feeds so HV suggested that we keep her in the bedroom, have only the hall light on with the bedroom door open, no eye contact and basically make her night feed boring. It worked but we've managed to get her to sleep from 9/10pm - 6am without needing a feed during the night by giving her a bath every night at 8pm followed by a feed, some cuddle time and then straight to bed.

As for a daytime routine I just go with the flow. Aimee is quite a well behaved baby. If she get a bit grumpy I just take her for a walk and she usually settles.

Like Sage says sleep when she sleeps. I am unable to do this though as when Aimee sleeps during the day I can't relax, I need to get bottles washed, sterlised and feeds made up. I just think 'ok now I can get the housework done!'.

 

[Becs]

I bought that book when pregnant but decided it was too complicated for me. Then when Austin was 4 weeks and breast feeding on demand and I had become a wreck of a woman with a baby who would be at the breast for 2/3 hours at a time and having on average of 2 hours sleep a night, I gave in and tried it out of desperation... It worked from day one. I found all of the little tricks she suggests like split feeds - to help the baby take a bigger feed and expressing a couple of times a day to encourage your milk supply to be fuller for when the baby has a growth spurt, just so useful. Austin stopped demanding food because he was always fed at the right times. He got the right amount of sleep so didn't get over tired and best of all I started to know in advance when he was going to be sleeping so got things done and had a nap myself when he was asleep. This all really helped me in the early weeks and now his routine is just a sinch. It looks more complicated then it is. WHen you read it off a page it seems really busy but in practice it just flows. My son has reflux so doesn't have a good association with feeding and regularly doesn't want to feed at the times suggested in the book but this doesn't stop the basic routine from working at all.

All the Mums I know that follow this book are very happy with it all. There is a very big culture on here to slam it but it works for some of us and if you do find yourself locked into your baby and going insane, don't rule it out. It saved my sanity.

Becs

 

[dannii87]

Thanks for all the advice peeps!

I've given up on a routine, I'd drive myself insane trying to follow it for starters! I just make sure she's topped & tailed every morning and she has a bath a few times a week. The nights where she doesn't have a bath I change her into a sleepsuit and dim the front room lights for "night time"

It's not working But it helps me wind down of an evening! Even when she's screaming!

Oh & Becs, I think it's great that the routine has worked wonders for you & Austin! It's really interesting to hear how it's done good for you.

I'm not following her routine, but some parts of her book are really informative and it also gives me something to read while she's CHOMPING on my poor, broken nipples lol

xx

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya Dannii,

You're right not to worry about it too much I think. I found it best to just let things fall into place naturally as the weeks went by. One thing that is pretty important as they get older though, is a very defined bedtime routine - I know so many people who've had trouble with their kids at night - right into toddlerdom.

My girls go to bed at 8.30 which is probably too late by most people's standards; Ruby goes to bed between 11 and 12 (although she sleeps right through to 7-8 usually now). As for the daytime routine - it is completely centred around the school/preschool run; we go to a couple of baby groups a week too now so those mornings are mainly in and out of the car so I have to feed her when I can (sometimes even in the car if she's really hungry!!) She's getting very tired now so I am making an effort to put her down for a couple of naps a day away from the older girls (who tend to wake her up).

I feel awful that I'm rushing her about like a loon and really look forward to weekends and none school days so we can take it easy. Thank goodness she was born just before the summer holidays so at least she had 6 weeks (and I had some time to recover too).

As for bathing - she has a bath every 3 days, and a baby massage if time; I certainly don't give her a wash or clothes change at the same time every day although I want to gradually start doing these things.

It does get easier, honest!!!