Reassurance

[Tan]

This might sound a bit selfish to you all but i hope it doesn't.

A girl I work with has just completed her 2nd cycle of IVF after about 7 years of TTC. She found out last week it had been successful but started bleeding lots yesterday and she miscarried last night.

I just feel so bad for her and don't know what to say other than the usual you know where I am etc. I also feel bad that she's going to come back to work and have to see me pregnant and I can't imagine how bad that is going to make her feel.

Do you get really resentful of other pregnant women? Is there anything I can do to make it easier for her. I try really hard not to rub it in anyway and try not to talk too much about my little one.

It's so unfair. You see so many people that don't deserve to have children or aren't ready or don't want them etc and then there's people like my friends (4 of them) who want this so badly and would be great parents and it just keeps not happening for them.

Thanks for listening and if you can offer any words of help I would appreciate it.

Tan x

 

[Wobbles]

Gosh poor girl

I haven't resented other pregnant women personally, after the ectopic, surgery, etc I hoped nobody would ever feel what I did.

Times of resentment I have experienced but like you say there’s so many people out that don't deserve to be parents yet for many people who would make a Mum what it should be never seem to get there too easy. Thats where any of my resentment comes from. I resent my Dads girlfriend so much – She drank brandy the whole way through her pregnancy & even dabbed into drugs – I can’t stand the woman & resent her having my little sister – Who is a joy I love her so much but her Mum doesn’t deserve to be a parent! So resentment for me is personal/family.

I think your friend may have a wave of jealousy, I think that can be expected but it wouldn’t be personal towards you.

A couple of our friends sent us a little card of wishes & some flowers which was lovely they say a lot more than words sometimes especially when you don’t know what words would be comforting. Maybe if the time felt right to pass any silence would be a girlie hug & a reassurance your there if she needs you.

 

[Tan]

Thanks Wobbles. The idea or a card and flowers is nice so will probably do that. It's just such a hard thing to have to go through and having people around her that are pregnant really can't help. It just makes me feel guilty as everyone around me is having problems with conceiving. My best friend should have been due the same week as me after her 3rd attempt at IVF but she miscarried too and I saw the pain she went through so its horrible having to see someone else going through it too.

Tan x

 

[Wobbles]

Your best friend is probably happy you have a healthy pregnancy. I couldn't wish my ordeal on anyone I'd rather be jealous & those people to have healthy happy pregnancies. We will all get there in the end.

I hope your friends get their wishes granted soon

x x