So annoyed/ upset...Am I being stupid?

[Corrinne37]

My work have just rang me to let me know, that a new girl who only started with us about a week ago is pregnant.
We had suspicions of this and has now been confirmed, she is around the same time that I would have been. Great.
Well I thanked my manager for letting me know in advance, and I said as long as she doesnt know about what has happened to me then it will be fine, I can put on my professional face and get on with things (I have to supervise her and train her up etc),
Oh she does know I was told.
At this point I went mad, I only told my Manager , and two other girls for the purpose of work load, heavy lifting etc etc.( We are all quite close knit and I thought friends.)
But I said I am only telling you three for work / risk purposes you know I have miscarried before, please dont let it go any further.
WHY DOES SHE KNOW! SHE HAS ONLY JUST STARTED. I DONT WANT HER TO KNOW.
DOES EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE PLACE KNOW??????

Am I being really silly, but I just feel let down that they told her, I feel they shouldnt have.
I told who I wanted to tell because I trusted them.

Also, can anyone understand that I will feel so much worse knowing that she knows!
I just feel that I would be ok in front of her if she didnt know. That I could put on a brave face and pretend.

Going back to work is going to be so much harder now!

Any advice (or a virtual slap) ladies would be great. xxxx

 

[netty]

no i think you are completely within your rights, this is a breach of confidentiality and your work should not have informed anyone new. I would be quite upset, they had no reason to tell her.

hugs hunny, what you gonna do?

 

[TORino]

No slap required here hunny. It's awful to think that people have been talking about you in your absence. And especially now this girl is pregnant it may cause unnecessary awkwardness, on her part and yours, that could have been prevented. They have let you down here and you have a right to be upset.

When I mc I had only told a select few people I was PG. I had a party about a month after the mc and my cousins friends were there (I had asked my cousin had she told anyone about me when it was going bad and she said no). I mentioned to these 2 girls that I had a mc and they said 'aw we know E told us) I was fuming. I hate hate hate the thought of people gossiping/pitying me.

I hope that when you go back to work you can get back to normality quickly xx

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi Lynette, Well if I had just told my manager then I think it would of been a breach, but as I told two work colleagues then is not my own fault for trusting them? x

 

[netty]

no not at all, do you not know who told her argh i would be soo mad xxx

 

[Corrinne37]

No slap required here hunny. It's awful to think that people have been talking about you in your absence. And especially now this girl is pregnant it may cause unnecessary awkwardness, on her part and yours, that could have been prevented. They have let you down here and you have a right to be upset.

When I mc I had only told a select few people I was PG. I had a party about a month after the mc and my cousins friends were there (I had asked my cousin had she told anyone about me when it was going bad and she said no). I mentioned to these 2 girls that I had a mc and they said 'aw we know E told us) I was fuming. I hate hate hate the thought of people gossiping/pitying me.

I hope that when you go back to work you can get back to normality quickly xx

I know it is horrible, my exact words to my manager - its my secret to tell,if i want anyone to know, not anyone else's, esp a new girl who is pregnant and who they had suspicions of

that she was, before they knew I had MC - INSENSITIVE!!

Have a great holiday anyway hun, see you back here soon. xxx

 

[kra0]

They all need slapped if u ask me! I think I might have replied on a similar post to this u did before? Telling u that only my managers knew for risk purposes and 2 days later the whole place knew!! I was raging and then I had my mmc so still had people coming up to me asking me if it's true. Their faces when I told them I'd miscarried.. Anyway it still makes me angry thinking about it now so I share your anger. Are these people all managers and supervisors? Even if they aren't there is still a breach of privacy and confidentiality here xxxx

 

[netty]

if anything they have made you feel uncomfortable about going back now, what was your managers excuse for all this do you know who told the new girl?

 

[Corrinne37]

thats exactly what they have done lynette! My manager just said 'the girls' told her meaning my two collegues I told.

No keira not spoken to you about this b4, must of missed that thread. But yes bloody annoying isnt it!! That happened last MC I came back and everyone knew. But as I had MC'd b4 this time I purposely said I DONT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW!

 

[netty]

well i would be so pissed! In a workplace gossiping amounts to bullying and over something so so sensitive what right did they have to tell anyone? Doesnt your manager see that what they have done it wrong?

 

[TORino]

No slap required here hunny. It's awful to think that people have been talking about you in your absence. And especially now this girl is pregnant it may cause unnecessary awkwardness, on her part and yours, that could have been prevented. They have let you down here and you have a right to be upset.

When I mc I had only told a select few people I was PG. I had a party about a month after the mc and my cousins friends were there (I had asked my cousin had she told anyone about me when it was going bad and she said no). I mentioned to these 2 girls that I had a mc and they said 'aw we know E told us) I was fuming. I hate hate hate the thought of people gossiping/pitying me.

I hope that when you go back to work you can get back to normality quickly xx

I know it is horrible, my exact words to my manager - its my secret to tell,if i want anyone to know, not anyone else's, esp a new girl who is pregnant and who they had suspicions of

that she was, before they knew I had MC - INSENSITIVE!!

Have a great holiday anyway hun, see you back here soon. xxx

Thanks hun.

It should always be your choice who knows these things about you. These people have let you down big time. I would be feeling very hurt as well.

I'm not too sure what you can do now, the damage has been done sadly I guess let them all know how they have let you down so they can make it up to you.

 

[Corrinne37]

my manager just called me and said that she told her, she said it was all done in a really sensitive way.
As she didnt want her going on about baby this and that in front of me.
She apologised profusely and said that she only done it to protect me and her and wanted to keep the team close knit as it was.
She seemed very genuine that she thought she was doing the right thing.
I said you should of asked me first.
But blahhh done now.

 

[dyscochick]

At least is was done with the best of intentions, not to hurt you or to be a gossip. xx

 

[TORino]

Aw, well she sounds remorseful at least so that's something.

 

[netty]

are you still going to go back hun? I have to go see doctor monday so no work for me, hopefully tuesday

 

[Corrinne37]

yes, so I know she meant well, atleast I know now my friends werent gossiping , so I dont feel my trust was misplaced. xx Oh the drams!! xx

 

[tinselcat]

Hi Corinne

Sorry to hear you're upset I can see why

I remember after I lost mine a few years ago it was really really hard being in the workplace with a colleague who was pregnant, fortunately for me she didn't go on about it too much or I don't know how I'd have coped, hopefully a positive outcome of this is that your new colleague will be at least sensitive about things, even if the situation is not how you'd have preferred things to shape up.

xx