Really nervous

[PyscoFalcon]

Well in 2 hours I'm been dragged across country to see the in-laws and tell them our news and show them my early scan. We'll be staying until sometime Sunday.

I'm really nervous especially with the cold reception I got from my own parents and them continued talking to my brother and themselves as if I wasn't there. We've not spoken since to each other since

Now I'm the youngest in my family of 2 and I'm 30.
Tony (hubby) is 31 this year and oldest of 3 boys. Middle one is getting married in October.

On top of been real nervous I'm as sick as a dog and got a spiltting headache. Just want to stay at home and tell them on phone so I can hide easier.

Help!

 

[CARNAT22]

Wow hun, that was pretty crappy of your family?

Why an Earth did they behave like that?

How do you get on with OH's fmaily in general?

I can't understand the logic - you are a grown-up married couple they shoul all be overjoyed for you both

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

My parents never really wanted me. They had me cos they we're told my brother wouldn't live past 5 years old. (he's 32 now)

They always put down everything I did, never supported me in anything yet praised my brother and showing him with gifts. My brother has always been chav like - smokes, drinks and never has a job.
I was forced to clean the house top to bottom on a Friday - wash up twice a week etc When little my parents didn't raise me, after school I was passed from family to family until my parents got in from work. They always bullied and mocked me - they still do now. Was my 30th Birthday last month and I got bugger all from them - not even a happy birthday!

Needless to say I left when I was 15. I really hoped been preggers would make them happy for me for once instead of always talking about my brother etc
But I guess not.

I get on okay with his family - his family are VERY close and it's alien to me so I feel awkward and like I'm an introuder and like I always have to be on my guard.

 

[CARNAT22]

My parents never really wanted me. They had me cos they we're told my brother wouldn't live past 5 years old. (he's 32 now)

They always put down everything I did, never supported me in anything yet praised my brother and showing him with gifts. My brother has always been chav like - smokes, drinks and never has a job.
I was forced to clean the house top to bottom on a Friday - wash up twice a week etc When little my parents didn't raise me, after school I was passed from family to family until my parents got in from work. They always bullied and mocked me - they still do now. Was my 30th Birthday last month and I got bugger all from them - not even a happy birthday!

Needless to say I left when I was 15. I really hoped been preggers would make them happy for me for once instead of always talking about my brother etc
But I guess not.

I get on okay with his family - his family are VERY close and it's alien to me so I feel awkward and like I'm an introuder and like I always have to be on my guard.

Sorry to hear that hun, in-fact that has made me very, very sad.

Thank God you have hubby and are now starting your own family, you can break the cycle of mental cruelty.

You family don't deserve to have any part in this childs life and you make sure they earn your trust back if they decide they want to be involved.

I am sure OH's family will be over the moon and I bet you'll get an amazing reaction from them

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Thank you hun. I hope so. Have no idea how to react if they are hehe.

See because of how I was treated I'm very scared I'll be a bad mum and my baby won't like me. That scares me as much as loosing the baby does.

 

[Sarah85]

Sorry to hear this Hun. You've struggled so much for this little bean so I have no doubt your child will have everything u didn't! You'll be your own little family soon and that's all you need! Chin up x x

 

[CARNAT22]

Thank you hun. I hope so. Have no idea how to react if they are hehe.

See because of how I was treated I'm very scared I'll be a bad mum and my baby won't like me. That scares me as much as loosing the baby does.

I think how you have been treated will work in your favour hun, as you will know exactly what not to do!

You'll be fine sweetie, people that come from less conventional backgrounds draw on their negative experiences so they know what pitfalls to avoid.

You'll be a wonderful Mummy

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Mellymoomin06]

Thank you hun. I hope so. Have no idea how to react if they are hehe.

See because of how I was treated I'm very scared I'll be a bad mum and my baby won't like me. That scares me as much as loosing the baby does.

You will not be a bad mum at all...if anything what you have been theough will make u all the better! Felt very sad to read ur post about ur childhood... im sure ur hubbys family will have the completely opposite reaction! Good luck ....let us know how it goes! xxx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Thank you both of you.
Made me cry a little silly hormones

I'll let you know how it goes when I get back.
Will have to make several stops on the way tho if sickness dosen't calm down!

 

[Mellymoomin06]

Thank you both of you.
Made me cry a little silly hormones

I'll let you know how it goes when I get back.
Will have to make several stops on the way tho if sickness dosen't calm down!

You are welcome!! and dont worry i cried at an advert last night! Lol xx

 

[FirstBabyEek]

Sorry to hear that hun, in-fact that has made me very, very sad.

Thank God you have hubby and are now starting your own family, you can break the cycle of mental cruelty.

You family don't deserve to have any part in this childs life and you make sure they earn your trust back if they decide they want to be involved.

I am sure OH's family will be over the moon and I bet you'll get an amazing reaction from them

xxxxxxxxxxx

I completely agree and couldnt have said it better. So sorry that your family reacted like that if I'm honest I'd be tempted to have little to do with them from now on, forgive them but move on, you have a wonderful family of your own now and thats what actually matters at the end of the day.

xxxxx

 

[Durhamchance]

I'm sure everything will be fine and hubby's family will be overjoyed! I was shocked at your childhood and your family's reaction It's hard to imagine that anyone could be so callus to their daughter?! I'm sure you will make a wonderful mother and you know how much your baby will be loved and adored.

Enjoy your weekend and being the centre of attention x

 

[SunnySue]

So sorry you were met with such negativity from your family I'm sure OH's family will be much more supportive.
Having such a crap time as a child yourself is only going to make you an even more amazing Mummy!
Good luck hun

 

[Sunshine_1]

Hun, I felt like the outsider with my OH's family, he moved a long way away to be with me, and I always felt like they viewed me as the big bad witch who took their son/brother away, but now they are fighting to come down and see me to hug me, and cried with joy when we said we had set a date for the wedding.....hopefully, like me, you'll be very pleasantly surprised by their reaction, because often if they are that close, they want there to be another generation and to see each other happy.

As for your parents and the way they...well didn't...bring you up...in my experience, a lot of us often act the total opposite to what we view as the bad parts of our own upbringing, you know what they did wrong, and I am sure you will never do the same. My own parents are bemused by the fact I won't go in my daughter's room, not even to put her washing away, but my Mum used to go through my things and the consequences of this were not always great lets say, so my daughters privacy is the utmost importance to me. Not only that hun, but your hubby would never let you be a bad Mum even if you do something slightly wrong in his eyes, he loves you both and understands you don't have wonderful life experiences to draw from. You will be a loving and wonderful Mum I am sure, you are a loving and great friend after all xxxx

 

[Flips4]

You are going to be an amazing mummy... The fact that your on this board seeking views and opinions and the way you so obviously care so much even in this little world of parenting forum says that I bet oh family will be overjoyed xxx

 

[zoe82]

That sounds horrible! Like the other girls have said, you'll end up being a great Mum, as you know what it was like for you and won't want the same for your LO. I'll bet your OH's family were over the moon with your news, can understand why you'd be nervous though. I'm surprised you even bothered with your parents to be honest, but then that obviously shows you're better than them by telling them your news even if their reaction was awful! Keep smiling and remember you have your own family now x x

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2

 

[Karate Kid]

Thank you hun. I hope so. Have no idea how to react if they are hehe.

See because of how I was treated I'm very scared I'll be a bad mum and my baby won't like me. That scares me as much as loosing the baby does.

Hey sweetie,

First of all I just want to give you a massive hug!

I am not quite in the same situation but to put it mildly my parents and I have a very interesting and volatile relationship. I found out that I was adopted 3 years ago and it turned my life upside down and made the situation with my parents worse. My parents have been supportive about this pregnancy but I still don't trust them or rely on them.

Hubby's family on the other hand are EXTREMELY close and they share everything. I find it difficult at times to integrate and feel a part if it.

All I can say is whilst I am petrified I will make the same mistakes I am far more aware of my short comings and I am nit afraid to accept when I am wrong. You will be fine hun, you clearly have so much awareness of your situation and I am just so thankful you have found a loving husband. I genuinely do not know where I would be without mine.

Whilst at risk of sounding very condescending.... Please don't ever doubt the inner strength and resilience that you posses. You may not have been able to rely on your family but you can rely on yourself and your husband. Xx

 

[Beeble]

I really hope things go well for you, you say his family are really close so I can only imagine they will be over the moon with your news! They have probably been waiting for grankids for aaages
Your family sound sucky, you appear to have managed well enough till now without their support and I am certain you will continue to do so! Good luck xx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

*wipes tears from eyes* Thank you soooooo much all *huggles*

Well I was really shocked with there reactions. Within an hour the house was full with 9 people to go for a pub meal to celerbrate. Tony's (hubby) Aunt Di started texting everyone immediatly.

I even got a package from Tonys middle brothers fiance containing a card, teddy, non alcholic ginger beer and a pack of peppermint teas!


Sunday morning we went to the hospital to see Tonys Nan and tell her the news. We were warned that she might not be with it, as soon as I walked into the room she pointed at my belly and went OOOO congratulations! Then cheered up immensly. Everyone else just stared at me as if to say how did she know!

When we left for the 4 hour trip back home (2 pee stops add on a hour!) the in-laws hugged me

I'm still in shock but very relieved. MIL also gave me some of her tops, a few skirts and a pair of trousers since she's now dropped a dress size for when bump get's bigger. Oh and she's all ready asking what colour wool I want for a newborn hat,cardy and mitt set.

Now I'm hoping that nothing goes wrong with baby and I carry to term.

 

[Lolly85x]

Awww!!! How lovely! Glad it all went well, after being so worried how sweet of them!xx