Reality is setting in

[Dee28]

Have had such a bad day today, the tears just kept coming and I had to go and lie down to hide from my daughter as I don't want her seeing me like this. I think now that I've hit the 12 month mark the reality has sunk in that this just may not happen. I feel so guilty as my DH keeps telling me to focus on what we have but I feel so lost and forward focused that I feel like I'm missing out on my daughters little life. I made all my decisions for her playschool sessions based on being heavily pregnant and having a newborn and now that its rolled around and I'm not even pregnant I feel so angry. Argh, I never thought this would happen, what do I do if it just doesn't happen, how on earth do I move on, why are we getting old, why did DH make us wait so long to try again and what the fuck happened to his sperm in the meantime?!! Arrggghhhh!!!!!!


- now Free

 

[Marcel]

Oh dee I'm so sorry your feeling so down. I hit the 12 month mark last week and it does really get to you, the only thig I decided to do to stay sane was to book things and do things based on not being pregnant and worry about changing them if I did become pregnant.

Big hugs xxx

 

[Marcel]

X

 

[cornishfairy]

xxxxxxxx

 

[Londongirl]

I also found the 12 month mark really hard - seeing friends who started trying after us have their baby in particular was difficult. I find making time to do one thing for myself every day really helps, even if it's just having a bath or doing some yoga for ten mins. Take care of yourself xxx

 

[Dee28]

Thanks girls, I will try my best to stay busy, blighted somewhat today by a raging sore throat and headache! Two friends o started ttc with start their mat leave this month which makes it really tough, I just wanted to be pregnant by the time their babies came to make seeing their little newborns easier but that gives me this month only! X

 

[Hoping for no2]

Hi Dee I'm new to this forum and in the same boat as you. My son is nearly 4 and we've been ttc number 2 for 14 months now. Waiting results of hubby's sperm test... All my friends have also had/having 2nd babies and it's very difficult. I find myself in tears each time we find out someone else is pregnant again! My hubby also made us wait to ttc number 2 as he was re-training and thought he wouldn't cope with a new baby as well. Wish we had started much sooner. I completely understand how you feel. Hang in there (I'm trying to!) x

 

[Dee28]

Hi Dee I'm new to this forum and in the same boat as you. My son is nearly 4 and we've been ttc number 2 for 14 months now. Waiting results of hubby's sperm test... All my friends have also had/having 2nd babies and it's very difficult. I find myself in tears each time we find out someone else is pregnant again! My hubby also made us wait to ttc number 2 as he was re-training and thought he wouldn't cope with a new baby as well. Wish we had started much sooner. I completely understand how you feel. Hang in there (I'm trying to!) x

Hi, sounds like we're in a v similar place, my daughter is 3.5 now. Hubby's SA results were such a shock, still can't quite believe it! When are you getting your results? I wouldn't be so worried if we weren't getting old, I'll be 38 in January and hubby 44 in feb so I feel the walls closing in xx

 

[Hoping for no2]

Hope to have the results at the end of the week/early next week, I dropped in the sample to the hospital last Friday - apparently it takes 7 days. On that note, do you know how he will receive them - is it a letter in the post? Or do we need to call the GP for them? We are both nearly 34 so not too worried at this stage about our age - I completely understand you being more worried being that bit older (sorry don't mean to suggest you are old!). I assume your hubby's results weren't good then? What did they suggest you do, if anything? I've convinced myself hubby must have something wrong with him (I'm fine) but perhaps we've just been unlucky. I guess I'm hoping if there is something wrong we'll be able to do something about it. IVF wouldn't be an option for us - we just couldn't afford it x

 

[Dee28]

We had to call for the results and after the first had a follow up gp appointment as it came back low so gp wanted to repeat the test. Second test was a bit better but still not great. Gp didn't suggest much, just to wear lose pants, no hot baths, no drinking or smoking etc and referred us to fertility clinic but as we won't get any funding I'm not sure where that will lead. The appointment is in October so hubby is to repeat the test before then. I've had him on a barrage of vitamins that I researched can help but it takes 3 months for sperm to reproduce so the next should give an idea if whether they vits etc have helped. I bloody hope so. I'd ring your surgery at the end of the week as they'll probably be on their system by then, good luck xx

 

[Hoping for no2]

Thanks Dee, I'll get him to call on Friday and see if they are back. Sounds silly but I had it in my head that because he'd had the test I'd get pregnant this month and it would prove that we were worrying about nothing...I'm not of course. Good luck to you too with it all - hopefully we'll both get pregnant before having to worry about further treatments etc. xx

 

[Dee28]

Thanks Dee, I'll get him to call on Friday and see if they are back. Sounds silly but I had it in my head that because he'd had the test I'd get pregnant this month and it would prove that we were worrying about nothing...I'm not of course. Good luck to you too with it all - hopefully we'll both get pregnant before having to worry about further treatments etc. xx

Oh I was exactly the same the month we got his result, seems to be a common thing!!

 

[Hoping for no2]

Finally got results...sperm count and concentration very high and motility ok but only 2% morphology. GP told hubby that results not perfect and repeat in 3 months but said we shouldn't be overly worried as high count would 'cancel out' low numbers of normal ones. Even with a high count 2%
normal form seems very low? Argh it's all so confusing don't know what to think... How are things for you at the moment Dee? X

 

[Dee28]

From what I understand anything over 3 or 4% normal forms is considered ok with the latest way of analysing sperm but of course that only works out well if you have a high count which sounds like you do, if you work out 2% of say 100,000,0000 then you've a much better chance than 2% of 10,000,000 so it sounds like your chances are pretty good, just a matter of time.

We're ok thanks, have our fertility appointment in 3 weeks, can't help but hope that hubby will receive a rush of super new spermies before then do we don't have to go x