Rachel Weisz pregnant at 48

[Sunflower1]

Thought I'd share this to cheer up those anyone in their late 30s and early 40s feeling anxious about being older...women in their late 40s are now having kids! It definitely made me feel better about TTC at 42.

https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/...-expecting-first-child-together-a3819441.html

 

[Maximus17]

Yes I heard that but I think she has IVF

 

[WinterWolf]

That's great for her but she probably had IVF with eggs she froze years earlier, or donor eggs. The chances of conceiving naturally over age 45 are around 0.5% each month. But I get what you're saying, if she can be pregnant at 48, no one should feel self-conscious about having a baby in their late 30s/early 40s

 

[Sunflower1]

To be honest I'm just trying to give myself hope. I don't know why but every time someone hears we are trying they seem to think it's appropriate to quote depressing statistics at me, even at the hospital less than five minutes after I discovered I had miscarried. I didn't choose to wait til my late 30s/early 40s to TTC, I was too ill to before, and no one who isn't trying at that stage of life seems to understand how utterly scary and heart breaking it is, and rather than offer some support and hope, all I get is people's negativity.

I remember that someone on here did conceive completely naturally at 47, and the nurse at the hospital after depressing me with her over 40s statistics did actually admit that they have a lot of women in their 40s having babies coming through there. American fertility studies are much more positive than NHS ones and I feel like there is a really negtive attitude to put women off trying in their 40s because of lack of funding. There are more women in their early 40s having abortions than teenagers now because they were told they wouldn't be very fertile so they stopped using protection. A lot of my relatives had babies 70 years ago at 40, so I don't understand the attitudes nowadays.

Sorry, rant over...

 

[MoominGirl]

To be honest I'm just trying to give myself hope. I don't know why but every time someone hears we are trying they seem to think it's appropriate to quote depressing statistics at me, even at the hospital less than five minutes after I discovered I had miscarried. I didn't choose to wait til my late 30s/early 40s to TTC, I was too ill to before, and no one who isn't trying at that stage of life seems to understand how utterly scary and heart breaking it is, and rather than offer some support and hope, all I get is people's negativity.

I remember that someone on here did conceive completely naturally at 47, and the nurse at the hospital after depressing me with her over 40s statistics did actually admit that they have a lot of women in their 40s having babies coming through there. American fertility studies are much more positive than NHS ones and I feel like there is a really negtive attitude to put women off trying in their 40s because of lack of funding. There are more women in their early 40s having abortions than teenagers now because they were told they wouldn't be very fertile so they stopped using protection. A lot of my relatives had babies 70 years ago at 40, so I don't understand the attitudes nowadays.

Sorry, rant over...

I totally agree with you that the attitude towards 'older' women TTC can be very poor. Probably due to lack of funding as you say so they're just not interested. Of course there are negative statistics but lots of ladies conceive naturally well into their 40s as well. I don't know why people would think it was appropriate to drag you down with negativity as if you didn't already know?!

My first acupuncturist conceived naturally at 44, completely by accident and delivered a healthy baby. I didn't find it particularly helpful to be told this while she was treating me for infertility but I'm sure it will offer much more hope for you. I hope you're doing ok.

 

[Sunflower1]

To be honest I'm just trying to give myself hope. I don't know why but every time someone hears we are trying they seem to think it's appropriate to quote depressing statistics at me, even at the hospital less than five minutes after I discovered I had miscarried. I didn't choose to wait til my late 30s/early 40s to TTC, I was too ill to before, and no one who isn't trying at that stage of life seems to understand how utterly scary and heart breaking it is, and rather than offer some support and hope, all I get is people's negativity.

I remember that someone on here did conceive completely naturally at 47, and the nurse at the hospital after depressing me with her over 40s statistics did actually admit that they have a lot of women in their 40s having babies coming through there. American fertility studies are much more positive than NHS ones and I feel like there is a really negtive attitude to put women off trying in their 40s because of lack of funding. There are more women in their early 40s having abortions than teenagers now because they were told they wouldn't be very fertile so they stopped using protection. A lot of my relatives had babies 70 years ago at 40, so I don't understand the attitudes nowadays.

Sorry, rant over...

I totally agree with you that the attitude towards 'older' women TTC can be very poor. Probably due to lack of funding as you say so they're just not interested. Of course there are negative statistics but lots of ladies conceive naturally well into their 40s as well. I don't know why people would think it was appropriate to drag you down with negativity as if you didn't already know?!

My first acupuncturist conceived naturally at 44, completely by accident and delivered a healthy baby. I didn't find it particularly helpful to be told this while she was treating me for infertility but I'm sure it will offer much more hope for you. I hope you're doing ok.

Thank you! Yes, not terribly appropriate to tell you that while you were experiencing infertility. I think a lot of women don't know how to talk to each other in a supportive way about all this, and the prevailing cultural attitudes don't help. I wish people would stop saying 'At least I'm not in my 40s' because some of us are. Hope you're doing okay hun. xx

 

[MoominGirl]

To be honest I'm just trying to give myself hope. I don't know why but every time someone hears we are trying they seem to think it's appropriate to quote depressing statistics at me, even at the hospital less than five minutes after I discovered I had miscarried. I didn't choose to wait til my late 30s/early 40s to TTC, I was too ill to before, and no one who isn't trying at that stage of life seems to understand how utterly scary and heart breaking it is, and rather than offer some support and hope, all I get is people's negativity.

I remember that someone on here did conceive completely naturally at 47, and the nurse at the hospital after depressing me with her over 40s statistics did actually admit that they have a lot of women in their 40s having babies coming through there. American fertility studies are much more positive than NHS ones and I feel like there is a really negtive attitude to put women off trying in their 40s because of lack of funding. There are more women in their early 40s having abortions than teenagers now because they were told they wouldn't be very fertile so they stopped using protection. A lot of my relatives had babies 70 years ago at 40, so I don't understand the attitudes nowadays.

Sorry, rant over...

I totally agree with you that the attitude towards 'older' women TTC can be very poor. Probably due to lack of funding as you say so they're just not interested. Of course there are negative statistics but lots of ladies conceive naturally well into their 40s as well. I don't know why people would think it was appropriate to drag you down with negativity as if you didn't already know?!

My first acupuncturist conceived naturally at 44, completely by accident and delivered a healthy baby. I didn't find it particularly helpful to be told this while she was treating me for infertility but I'm sure it will offer much more hope for you. I hope you're doing ok.

Thank you! Yes, not terribly appropriate to tell you that while you were experiencing infertility. I think a lot of women don't know how to talk to each other in a supportive way about all this, and the prevailing cultural attitudes don't help. I wish people would stop saying 'At least I'm not in my 40s' because some of us are. Hope you're doing okay hun. xx

I think if I was open about TTC, I'd probably just stop people in their track and say something like 'yes I am aware of the statistics and I don't need reminding thank you'. They'd soon get the message. I think the problem a lot of the time is that people actually don't realise how insensitive they are. The acupuncturist for me was a prime example and I know she didn't mean to be offensive.

 

[Sunflower1]

I think you're right...people don't think about the effect of what they are saying.

 

[WinterWolf]

Sorry that was a bit insensitive of me. I really should've looked at who posted it I just didn't want to give false hope to anyone who's 48+ because the rate of celebs who have babies in their 50s is way higher than for us normies. In your late 30s/early 40s you've still got time. As for people judging you socially - people will judge everyone who is TTC and isn't 30 and married to a man. TTC for some reason is almost a taboo topic. Everyone is nasty to women who talk about it. I get pelted the other way "you're young, it should be easy" - well shut up because it isn't!

 

[Sunflower1]

No problems Winter Wolf...after posting my rant I looked it up and it does seem likely that she used an egg donor. Ended up in tears after reading the article. I'm just trying to cling to some shred of hope I guess and every single piece of negativity brings me down at the moment.

Sorry you are getting insensitive people judging you...it's horrid. I think the portrayal of women getting pregnant on TV etc makes things worse. We just aren't exposed to the gritty truth of what it's actually like for many. I also think because we are all told when we are teenagers that it's very easy to get pregnant in order to scare us into being careful we have unrealistic understanding of how easy it really is. xx

 

[WinterWolf]

No problems Winter Wolf...after posting my rant I looked it up and it does seem likely that she used an egg donor. Ended up in tears after reading the article. I'm just trying to cling to some shred of hope I guess and every single piece of negativity brings me down at the moment.

Sorry you are getting insensitive people judging you...it's horrid. I think the portrayal of women getting pregnant on TV etc makes things worse. We just aren't exposed to the gritty truth of what it's actually like for many. I also think because we are all told when we are teenagers that it's very easy to get pregnant in order to scare us into being careful we have unrealistic understanding of how easy it really is. xx

Don't get down, if she used an egg donor there's nothing to say you can't do that at 48 too if you have to. You will get your baby one way or another!

I don't get judged like you would, there seems to be a fair amount of hate towards women in their 40s getting pregnant. I do get some funny looks or people saying "why do you want a baby now? You've got so much time for that!" Which, being 26, I never expected. It's true, so many people think everyone will get pregnant at the drop of a hat! Madness! I think many lellle need to learn to just not comment if someone is trying for a baby.

 

[miamia]

A few days ago I watched the interview with a lady who has one-month baby. She is 56, her husband is 78, and conceived naturally.

 

[MoominGirl]

No problems Winter Wolf...after posting my rant I looked it up and it does seem likely that she used an egg donor. Ended up in tears after reading the article. I'm just trying to cling to some shred of hope I guess and every single piece of negativity brings me down at the moment.

Sorry you are getting insensitive people judging you...it's horrid. I think the portrayal of women getting pregnant on TV etc makes things worse. We just aren't exposed to the gritty truth of what it's actually like for many. I also think because we are all told when we are teenagers that it's very easy to get pregnant in order to scare us into being careful we have unrealistic understanding of how easy it really is. xx

Don't get down, if she used an egg donor there's nothing to say you can't do that at 48 too if you have to. You will get your baby one way or another!

I don't get judged like you would, there seems to be a fair amount of hate towards women in their 40s getting pregnant. I do get some funny looks or people saying "why do you want a baby now? You've got so much time for that!" Which, being 26, I never expected. It's true, so many people think everyone will get pregnant at the drop of a hat! Madness! I think many lellle need to learn to just not comment if someone is trying for a baby.

I think the judgement around TTC is just so unnecessary. It only adds a level of stress to what is already a very stressful time for lots of couples. For some reason, it is socially acceptable to ask very personal questions about a subject which in many ways is still very taboo. I know society has come a long way in recent years but there is still so much to do.

For me, I always ignored celebrity stories as a general rule because it's just not the same when you've got endless pots of money and I think it just fuels unrealistic expectations for the rest of us.

As far as statistics go, I'm a bit of a geek and I do like to think in terms of numbers even if it's not what I want to hear but that's just me. I think it's important to remember that they are still just statistics though. Even though something is statistically more or less likely, it doesn't mean that's how it will play out. We went against the statistics many times both in a good and bad way at various points in our journey.

 

[Sunflower1]

It's also important to realise that a lot of the statistics are from out of date research. The main research done in Europe on female fertility is from 1850s rural France. The money is just not there for modern research. The Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant had some interesting things to say about all this.

 

[MoominGirl]

That's a very valid point. When I was thinking about statistics, I was thinking about assisted conception (which of course are a lot more modern) as well as natural conception.

Another point (was my OH actually lol), there's plenty of statements stating 'x% of couples of whatever age conceive after y months of trying'. His words 'how can they say that, no one asked us!' It's not always clear how representative the statistics are.

 

[Sunflower1]

You are right, your chances of conceiving by IVF go down after 40 but your likelihood of conceiving naturally is not related to that particular statistic. More studies are showing that the health of the mother is a massive factor.

 

[MoominGirl]

Very true. Egg quality is a big factor and that can vary between individuals regardless of age even though the overall trend generally declines with age. I know you'll be taking all the right supplements and things as you're so clued up on that stuff!! This might be a stupid question and I apologise if it is but have you ever had AMH tested? I believe this is supposed to be a better predictor of egg quality but I my have got this completely wrong!

Sperm quality as well of course though everything is still very much directed towards the woman. Something I was reading was talking about sperm quality declining in general across the population.

 

[Sunflower1]

Very true. Egg quality is a big factor and that can vary between individuals regardless of age even though the overall trend generally declines with age. I know you'll be taking all the right supplements and things as you're so clued up on that stuff!! This might be a stupid question and I apologise if it is but have you ever had AMH tested? I believe this is supposed to be a better predictor of egg quality but I my have got this completely wrong!

Sperm quality as well of course though everything is still very much directed towards the woman. Something I was reading was talking about sperm quality declining in general across the population.

No I haven't had my AMH tested. I think I'd be too depressed if the outcome was bad. My OH had a sperm test and that was fine.

 

[MoominGirl]

That's fair enough. Everyone is different in how much they want to know. I hope I didn't come across as insensitive by asking that.

 

[Sunflower1]

Not at all. x