Question for all girlfriends, wives, etc

[moss]

How protective are you of your other half? For example, which of the following things would or would not bother you coming from other women and directed toward your partner?

-comparing him to their own partner (saying they are very alike)
-sending a lot of text messages, and sometimes facebook on top of that (several texts per day)
-said messages are often calling your partner "pretty"
-comparing your partner to their favourite actor they have said they think is gorgeous
-being generally flirty
-all of these combined

This is obviously happening to my husband, but at the same time, the person in question has a boyfriend who she genuinely seems to love, even if she does complain about him a lot. I don't know her well... They are classmates and I have met her twice, but she drives him home often and there is just something that makes me feel funny... She seems nice though and I want to like my husband's friends! We are in a new city and it has been hard to meet people. My husband is COMPLETELY trustworthy and shows me all of these messages and tells me everything she says, but still. Arrgh and I just a jealous freak?

 

[Charlie:-)]

I wouldn't like it if this was happening to my hubby.

I would try and explain how you feel to your OH and maybe he will suggest that he speaks to this woman and tells her to stop flirting/texting and just be normal friends like everyone else.

 

[Scarletts.Mummy]

Moss. That would do my head in!!

I dont think your a jealous freak but your new to the area and regardsless of how trustworthy your man you dont know this woman.

I had the same problem last year with a girl at work and my fiancee, i didnt take well to it and threatened to kick the daylights out her - she soon stopped. however that isnt always the best way to go about things and I have a really bad temper.

If its really bugging you and your man is as trustworthy as you say - talk to him about it make it clear you trust him but dont overly trust her. Im sure he will understand!

x

 

[moss]

I have spoken to him. I got an apology from her! Actually I got LOADS of messages from her on facebook about it. She was so apologetic I now feel like I overreacted! This is the first day for him to see her after this, so I don't know whether anything will actually change. We'll see!

 

[nickilubs]

-comparing him to their own partner (saying they are very alike) Okay
-sending a lot of text messages, and sometimes facebook on top of that. Annoying
-said messages are often calling your partner "pretty" I think he would prefer the term handsome
-comparing your partner to their favourite actor they have said they think is gorgeous Annoying
-being generally flirty Annoying
-all of these combined Poke her eyes out.

 

[Mildly]

I have to say it wouldn't worry me that much but I think it would bother my OH and make him feel uncomfortable. I trust my OH not to do anything stupid and it sounds as if you do too

I think you only have to worry when your OH doesn't tell you stuff like that. Some girls are naturally flirty in their approach with other guys, so it is probably just her way. She probably doesn't realise that it is making you uncomfortable so it might be worth asking your OH to have a quiet word

 

[Sherlock]

TBH I'd be wary. Not of my partner but of the other persons intentions. Its not the school yard anymore. This sort of thing can snowball and affect peoples lives and not in a good way.

I'd ask my hubby to ask the person to ease off on the behaviour if it were me. That while its flattering, its not really appropriate as he is happily married with a baby on the way.

There is friendship and then there is something past friendship. A good friend would not flirt like that. They would consider their own relationship and that of their friend. Its not the sort of thing that needs to be done.

Mind you saying that, women tend to be more chatty and in contact with friends than men. So maybe sending lots of texts and FB comments for her is normal in day to day life. But if she is only doing this sort of thing with your OH then it needs to stop. She is crossing a line and its not right.

I'd still ask your OH to have a chat with her about backing off and to behave in a more friend like manner.

 

[Gem212]

She is seriously taking the mickey!! if it was my OH i would ask him to ask her to stop!! There is no need to text as much and i think if the tables were turned she would not like another women texting her boyfriend!!

One of my friends texted my OH alot a few years back and i didnt know until i found his phone bill, i went mad i felt like they had kept it from me, it turned out she had been having an affair and was confiding in my OH as she found him easy to talk to and he wasnt judgmental!! WHATEVER!!

Dont put up with it, its not nice and your OH should understand, ask him how he would feel if you had a close male friend that did the same!!

Theres a line and i think she is crossing it!!

Sorry rant over!!

x x x

 

[Penstraze]

I think it depends on the girl me and DH split up for 6 months durring that time he picked up a girl hitch hiking late at night partly cause he was worried she wasnt safe doing that and largely cause he fancied her they ended up friends although at start they both fancied each other nothing came of it (I totally believe this) and they became great mates he really confided in her about how he felt about our break up and everything the first time I met her I was abit hung up on him fancying her at first and did he still etc but she came up to be hugged me and said how happy she was that we were back together and how much he loves me, she is so genuine I just know theres no threat there so when they text each other or she calls him affectionate names I'm not concerned at all and would happily let him go out for the evening with just her without worrying which there are very few women I would be able to do that with!

Its hard because you don't know this woman but I think gut instinct means alot of if your gut instinct tells you somethings amiss with her and the way she is I'd have to go with it not that anythings going on but maybe she would like it to be, but its brilliant that your OH is so open with you that really helps with the trust maybe just have a word with him tell him the last thing you want is to be jealous or possesive or stop him having female friends but the way this girl behaves around him makes you uncomfortable I'm sure he would be understanding, make it clear you don't not trust him but maybe flatter his ego say how hes such a good looking bloke it would hardly be suprising if she fancied him but your worried whether she realises he isnt interested and maybe he is giving off wrong signals or something

Whatever you do hope you sort it so you can feel more comfortable its horrible feeling jealous

 

[Scarletts.Mummy]

put it this way. What would her boyfriend say (the one that she is so in love with) if he knew about all this?

If it keeps bugging you tell your OH but tell him you dont want her to be told about it as it has already made you feel awkward and as if you were over reacting, just ask him to have less contact with her. He will avoid her if he knows how much its doing your head in.

As Sherlock says it does affect relationships when people do things like this and its not fair on you to feel like that! xx

 

[abcd1234]

Depends how much you trust him, it'd bug me definately, but when Dave used to get those msgs id be annoyed at the girls but not jealous cos i knew he would never ever do anything.
My baby daddy however i got very jealous at these msgs and convos etc simply as i didnt beleive he'd keep it in his pants, and funnily enough i was right.

 

[Chrissy1]

personally apart from her comparing my man to hers the rest would really cheese me off.

The problems is that you don't know her all that well. Some women are just like that to everyone and they genuinely don't see any harm in it. They probably just think it's either a bit of fun or their way of being friendly.

To me it sounds as if that is the case becasue of how apologetic she's been about it.

She's probably just overly friendly and not thinking that she could be making you uncomfortable. The best thing is for your OH to not encourage her in any way.

 

[kerryp]

all but the first bit would annoy me. what did she say when she apologised? or how was it the first day after this apology came? hope all is sorted out now.
x

 

[sparky]

in my pregnant state, i'd probably weep uncontrollably before wanting to have her dragged through the streets being birched.