Pressure to get pregnant?

[Sparklegirl]

Oh yeah definitely do that!

We used to get invited over to my parents' all the time for dinner but not once since my sister has got pregnant, hmmm! Think I'd until 5 months as well (I've always said 4 months anyway as there's a potential there could be problems with the baby and I'd want to get my head around them before telling anyone else) xx

Why on earth do you suddenly not need feeding?! Tell her you are wasting away and need to be looked after or you will be emaciated and that won't help your pregnant sister lol xx

 

[snowbee]

Gosh Sparkle that is awful. How insensitive! We are lucky from that point of view, we don't really have family pressure, I think most family members think we don't want children as we have been married for so long and are getting on a bit now.

Biggest pressure for me is from my husband, I know how desperate he is for a child and although he doesn't pressure me as such I always feel so guilty that it is all my fault we are struggling. He really wanted a baby before he was 40 and that is impossible now.

 

[Sparklegirl]

Gosh Sparkle that is awful. How insensitive! We are lucky from that point of view, we don't really have family pressure, I think most family members think we don't want children as we have been married for so long and are getting on a bit now.

Biggest pressure for me is from my husband, I know how desperate he is for a child and although he doesn't pressure me as such I always feel so guilty that it is all my fault we are struggling. He really wanted a baby before he was 40 and that is impossible now.

I think in my marriage I am probably the one putting pressure on myself because of time stresses, my gynae problems etc and fear that I might be the reason we may not be able to have kids.

My husband wants a baby, he is so cute the way he gets so excited any time I have any sort of symptoms he says ohhh it might be a baby! He never puts pressure on me but I do when it feels like I am letting us down

 

[phonixgirl]

My husband wanted a baby before he was 40 too - in fact, he wanted to stop trying when he was 40. He's 40 next year so I really don't think that will happen for me either. I feel guilty too that all the issues are with me and he'd have been a dad a long time ago if he was with anyone else. It's a shame as he'd make such a good dad too but what else can we do? We've tried everything. X

 

[Sparklegirl]

My husband wanted a baby before he was 40 too - in fact, he wanted to stop trying when he was 40. He's 40 next year so I really don't think that will happen for me either. I feel guilty too that all the issues are with me and he'd have been a dad a long time ago if he was with anyone else. It's a shame as he'd make such a good dad too but what else can we do? We've tried everything. X

I have said that I will give up trying if I have not been successful by the time I am 38 but its different for me being the child bearer, why has he against continuing after he is 40? I am sure you already know its not 'your issues' (I was talking with my work mate today about people apportioning "blame" for fertility issues) Is surrogacy an option at all? I have a friend who is looking into this at the moment and has joined a forum about it I believe x

 

[phonixgirl]

We haven't really thought about surrogacy but it could be an option. I'd have to join a forum to find someone.

He doesn't like the idea of being an old dad and not being able to do stuff which I get, but 40 isn't old these days!

Think I had a chemical pregnancy this month - there's no way I'll get pregnant naturally xx

 

[Sparklegirl]

We haven't really thought about surrogacy but it could be an option. I'd have to join a forum to find someone.

He doesn't like the idea of being an old dad and not being able to do stuff which I get, but 40 isn't old these days!

Think I had a chemical pregnancy this month - there's no way I'll get pregnant naturally xx

My dad was 42 when he had me, I have a good friend who is in his mid/late 40s and he has a little girl and he is exactly like I am with my dad. So close, I think it really does create a closer bond if a child has older parents. He is 77 now and I am still as close as when I was a little wee girl. If your SO would make a good dad, dont let him give up on it because of age xx

 

[Sugarpop]

I think nowadays age isn't as much of an issue as it used to be, but it is a personal decision. I know my OH doesn't want to be an 'old' dad but what he classes as old and what I do are two different things.

I did, when I was younger plan to have a baby at 25. Now my age has moved up to 30 ha. I think a limit for us trying whatever route for me is 35. When I hit 35 we'll definitely try looking at surrogacy (OH wants that more than adoption I think). I still have a few years yet to make it happen!

 

[BerryBaby]

I am older, my partner is quite a bit younger than I am and obsessed with getting me pregnant, it's all he ever wants to talk about, and I feel under pressure to pop out children fast due to my age. The other day he started saying he wanted twins. I guess he's trying to get as many babies out of me as quickly as possible due to my age.

Thus I have started on fertility supplements. If I can't give him his babies I will feel just awful.

 

[Sparklegirl]

I am older, my partner is quite a bit younger than I am and obsessed with getting me pregnant, it's all he ever wants to talk about, and I feel under pressure to pop out children fast due to my age. The other day he started saying he wanted twins. I guess he's trying to get as many babies out of me as quickly as possible due to my age.

Thus I have started on fertility supplements. If I can't give him his babies I will feel just awful.

I wonder if he knows he is pressuring you or not? Ho wold are you if you dont mind me asking? The twins thing makes him sound like he is saying you are on your last elgs which I'm pretty certain isnt right!

 

[BerryBaby]

I wonder if he knows he is pressuring you or not? Ho wold are you if you dont mind me asking? The twins thing makes him sound like he is saying you are on your last elgs which I'm pretty certain isnt right!

Well, I'm 40 so he might be right. Very healthy but still 40. All I've ever wanted was to have children, it just took me this long to find a man who wanted to get me pregnant.

 

[Sparklegirl]

I wonder if he knows he is pressuring you or not? Ho wold are you if you dont mind me asking? The twins thing makes him sound like he is saying you are on your last elgs which I'm pretty certain isnt right!

Well, I'm 40 so he might be right. Very healthy but still 40. All I've ever wanted was to have children, it just took me this long to find a man who wanted to get me pregnant.

Baby dust, being healthy is a massive plus point, I hope you get the BFP soon. That was like me, since I was young all I wanted was to get married and have a baby. I was in a bad relationship for so many years who fed me all the lies I wanted to hear but he never had any intention at all of fulfilling any of it.

I only met my husband back end of 2011 and with lots of financial trouble along the way we decided to wait to TTC until we were both settled. The job I am currently in was a year long contract which has been extended for another year but realistically that might be it. I was waiting to TTC until that had ended but the realization hit me that there was no point delaying it a second longer, we want a baby and we knew it wouldnt be an instant thing so it made sense to start trying when we did and Fx we get lucky. I am anxious about my job situation but I cant let it affect the rest of my life and take away our baby dream so we began TTC. May the journey be shorter than my parents, well it has to be because if it took us 19 years I would be 53