Preparing for IVF a year in advance

[Peony1]

Hi,

I’m 2 years in ttc with unexplained fertility. If I’m still not pregnant in a years time then we’ll be having ivf, hopefully funded by nhs providing they don’t take it away. Even if they do, then we’ll fund it ourselves.
I want to prepare myself mentally and physically for ivf as much as possible over the next year and I wondered if anyone can give me any advice, tips, books to read etc.?

Thanks

 

[katie88]

Hey Peony,

Firstly huge hugs! Its a right bugger getting through all this but preparing yourself as much as possible is a positive step.

These are the changes I've made:

*I'm having a acupuncture once a week.
*hubs is taking a male fertility vitamin and co-Q10
*im taking folic acid, co-Q10, vitamin D, Inositol and N-Acetyl Cysteine
(all the vitamins and supplements that we're taking have all been cleared by the consultant. there are loads of articles online about how all of the above can help with egg and sperm production)
*obviously we've both stopped drinking - didn't drink much anyway but its been completely cut now.
*cutting out most of the dairy, sugar and carbs from my diet and eat mainly - veg, fruits, meats and fish.
*my exercise has been cut back drastically- this may seem an odd one but im a long distance runner and my consultant felt that cutting back in the run up and during the IVF will help my body cope better and give my body more energy. so im now down to long walks and yoga, which isn't the same and a good 4-5 hour run but I still feel like im doing something. But if you don't exercise maybe start doing something?

as for books. the best two I can recommend are:

the ivf diet by Zita West - she's a fertility consultant down in London. the book goes through the whole ivf process, what to expect, what are the best things to eat (and it has handy recipes in the book too), so definitely work a look.

I also got given a book by my acupuncture lady called - the fertile fizz by jani white

hope that helps

 

[MoominGirl]

I think getting prepared ahead of time is a really good idea. I tried to do similar and I found it really helpful.

One thing I did learn along the way that I wish I'd known sooner. I don't know where you are in the country but where I am you are referred to a private clinic for IVF but treated under the NHS. Depending on your CCG, this may mean you have a choice of clinics you can go to. For example in my area there were 3 we could choose from, 2 of which were realistic options. The third one was way too far away. If I'd known this sooner I would have arranged to go to open days etc and learn as much as possible about the options as it's really important that you're as comfortable as possible with where you're being treated.

I really liked the book Get a Life. It did a his and hers perspective which we found helpful as much of the focus is on the woman which I don't always agree with.

Also from a practical point of view, we thought a lot about work as we very much didn't want to tell people that we were going through it. My manager did know about our issues but that was it. Depending on what sort of work you both do it might be quite tricky to arrange appointments around work particularly if you don't want to be too open about it.

I also tried acupuncture but I didn't find it particularly helpful. Lots of people swear by it though. If you are thinking about it, I would start looking for someone who specialises in fertility and give it a go sooner so you can find out if it works for you. One of the hardest things I found when I was looking was finding someone who would offer evening or weekend appointments which really surprised me considering the type of clients they're seeing.

Hope some of this stuff helps but also that you don't need it in the end.

 

[Peony1]

Thanks both, that’s really helpful I’ll definitely take a look at those books.

I have already made a change to my diet - I’ve cut down on a lot of the bad stuff (although not completely, I allow myself treats once in a while) but the main thing with my diet is that I’m cooking from scratch a lot more and trying not to have any processed foods! Actually quite enjoying doing that and my meals are so much tastier now as well as healthier. Still could do with changing my diet a bit more, but I’m doing it slowly. And I’m trying to exercise more. I’m generally quite active day to day anyway, but I do need to do more actual exercise I’m hoping these books might help me with diet and general guidance!

As for the acupuncture, I have looked into it but I’m not sure I feel happy about paying out for it to be honest. I have found ways to relax and make an effort every day to do those things and so I’m hoping that they will have a similar effect. I listen to a lot of relaxation/meditation videos and I’m hoping doing these regularly and reading books on ivf will help prepare me mentally for ivf. Just listening to the videos alone every day has already made a difference to my stress levels and this months af was probably my easiest yet in terms of how I felt about it.

Thanks again for the tips xx

 

[Peony1]

Oh and also...

Thanks for the tip about looking into clinics, this is not something that would have crossed my mind, so that’s great to know and I will look into that.

And as for the work thing, IF I’m still there (I have a goal to leave next year!), most of my colleagues now know about us ttc now and know that I would be having ivf next year if I’m not pregnant. But it’s just management that don’t know. I think if they could my management would let me take the time off paid, but I know they’d have to do it officially so it would be unpaid (I’ve looked into our policies and they don’t allow paid time off for ivf ). I’m lucky in that they are flexible and if I needed last minute time off they would allow it. However, if I have ivf I don’t want to be working there while I’m having it. (My job can be stressful and does require a lot of heavy lifting at times). So if I’ve not already left, I’d ask if I could take a sabbatical. I’m not sure if they would say yes, but if they don’t, then I’d probably leave. Having a baby is more important to me than that job.

 

[tinselcat]

Hiya

You may find this site useful: https://www.tomakeamommy.com

Xx

 

[MoominGirl]

Oh and also...

Thanks for the tip about looking into clinics, this is not something that would have crossed my mind, so that’s great to know and I will look into that.

And as for the work thing, IF I’m still there (I have a goal to leave next year!), most of my colleagues now know about us ttc now and know that I would be having ivf next year if I’m not pregnant. But it’s just management that don’t know. I think if they could my management would let me take the time off paid, but I know they’d have to do it officially so it would be unpaid (I’ve looked into our policies and they don’t allow paid time off for ivf ). I’m lucky in that they are flexible and if I needed last minute time off they would allow it. However, if I have ivf I don’t want to be working there while I’m having it. (My job can be stressful and does require a lot of heavy lifting at times). So if I’ve not already left, I’d ask if I could take a sabbatical. I’m not sure if they would say yes, but if they don’t, then I’d probably leave. Having a baby is more important to me than that job.

I would have needed a lot of adjustment at work if I was going through fertility treatment and also any of the clinics I would have used would have been quite a way from my work so I would have needed a lot of time off just to attend appointments. In the end, we decided that I'd most likely just get signed off as I get paid sick and as my manager knew I wouldn't have minded if they put 'fertility treatment' on the sick note. As for OH, we decided that anything I could attend alone I would and he would take a holiday day for egg collection and embryo transfer. Anything that came out of the blue he'd have just had a 'viral bug'. We didn't realise just how complicated it actually was when you both work full time and it's not something you want to be particularly open about.

Also make sure you know exactly what is funded by the NHS in your area as it varies hugely. At no point was I ever told this and I had to get all that information on my own.

 

[miamia]

Good luck with yr treatment. I would recommend having acupuncture and leading a healthy lifestyle xx

 

[Peony1]

Good point, I didn’t even think about my husband needing to take time off too. He’s looking for a new job at the moment, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see what his next employers are like if he does find something new. However, I think his current job would be pretty understanding, as they’ve already had an employee who has gone through ivf there. But worth bearing in mind!

I’m so glad I’ve asked about this here now as I wouldn’t have thought to check what is funded in my area either - I’m sure I’d have found out when it happens but I’d rather research it now and be more prepared. Thanks again all x

 

[MoominGirl]

When you started this thread the first thing that came into my head was 'What did I not know that I wish I knew?' Once we were mentally there with the idea of going ahead with IVF, the biggest challenges were actually around the practicalities and no one gave me any information whatsoever which was shocking really considering how much is involved.

You are also entitled to counselling during fertility treatment. This was something else that was never mentioned. Due to the distance to any clinic we would have used, we decided to arrange our own counsellor as I found the emotional prospect was far more difficult for me than the physical side of things.

I know we had a particularly poor NHS experience but anything I can think of I'm more than happy to pass on. I also wanted to start preparing ahead of time and it definitely did help me.