Pregnant & terrified

[Jossi]

Hi everyone, new to the group and looking for some advice. After feeling so many body changes and a late period, I felt myself I was pregnant which was confirmed this morning with test. I am 24 and have been with my fiance for 6 years (getting married august 2020). This has been completely unplanned and I am really struggling to accept the news as I already really struggle with anxiety. I am guessing it is not the right time as my fiance is due to leave the military in Feb which now puts us in an even more of a stressful position incase he cant get a job... or will he need to take his notice out to support us financially (which isnt what we want as he is leaving due to not handling being away flr 7 months at a time which will grow worse once a baby is involved). I have just been promoted in work and I am worried they wont support me being pregnant or in the slightest bit happy with maternity leave I understand my worries might not be huge and I have the guilt of feeling so anxious as I know people would love to be in this position Fiance is extremely over the moon and supportive but it doesnt take away my anxieties. Wishing I could speak to my mum but I worry she will be disappointed due to falling pregnant before our marrage. Sorry for long post Reading lots of stories on here has helped me feel at ease so thank you to everyone for sharing

 

[Kitana]

Hey hun, welcome to the forum! I understand you don't feel happy right now but you will be! As you've been together with your fiance for 6 years, I'm sure the news will be accepted by people around you. And you're getting married too! Congrats!
I was married once too and was together with my ex-husband for 5 years when my period just skipped a month (I didn't know anovulatory cycles existed). I had told my ex that I might be pregnant, and he totally lost it. He told me we had to get rid of it because he wasn't ready. That completely broke me. Eventually I got my period but the marriage was dead.
You're lucky your fiance wants this baby and wants to be there for you and them. Even if it gets rough sometimes, even financially, you always manage to find a way.
At work however, they can't discriminate against you for being pregnant. If they won't like to hear it, then too bad for them, I don't think you should feel guilty for being pregnant. It's not like you're sick and never coming back to work.
I would try to call your mom, grandchildren are like magical little beings who fix loads of family feuds! It did with my family! Don't worry too much about your mother's reaction, it's not like you can change it now anyways! I think she would feel sad and left out if she were to discover your pregnancy from someone else.
I hope you feel better soon about the pregnancy hun! Sending you loads of hugs!x

 

[Jossi]

Hi Kitana,

Thank you so much for your reply
I am so sorry to hear about what happened with yout ex husband, that must have been extremely hard to go through Yes I do agree I am extremely lucky to have him and I couldnt ask for him to be any more supportive. I do think it is just shock and processing the information so hopefully come 12 weeks when we begin to tell people, by that time I have accepted it and feeling excited. I am due to be my sisters maid of honour in Sept but it looks like that will be out of the question too haha! As for my mum, I have no idea why I am so worried to tell her as we are very close and all she does is go on about grandkids! You are very right about work, I just need to pray it all works out. Thanks again for your words

 

[Kitana]

Hi Kitana,

Thank you so much for your reply
I am so sorry to hear about what happened with yout ex husband, that must have been extremely hard to go through Yes I do agree I am extremely lucky to have him and I couldnt ask for him to be any more supportive. I do think it is just shock and processing the information so hopefully come 12 weeks when we begin to tell people, by that time I have accepted it and feeling excited. I am due to be my sisters maid of honour in Sept but it looks like that will be out of the question too haha! As for my mum, I have no idea why I am so worried to tell her as we are very close and all she does is go on about grandkids! You are very right about work, I just need to pray it all works out. Thanks again for your words

You're welcome hun!
And since you're really close to your mom, she will see it! I didn't get the chance to tell my mom! She kept looking at me sideways and said: "you look different", and then asked if I was pregnant!! Mommies know all!

 

[Sugarpop]

Hi everyone, new to the group and looking for some advice. After feeling so many body changes and a late period, I felt myself I was pregnant which was confirmed this morning with test. I am 24 and have been with my fiance for 6 years (getting married august 2020). This has been completely unplanned and I am really struggling to accept the news as I already really struggle with anxiety. I am guessing it is not the right time as my fiance is due to leave the military in Feb which now puts us in an even more of a stressful position incase he cant get a job... or will he need to take his notice out to support us financially (which isnt what we want as he is leaving due to not handling being away flr 7 months at a time which will grow worse once a baby is involved). I have just been promoted in work and I am worried they wont support me being pregnant or in the slightest bit happy with maternity leave I understand my worries might not be huge and I have the guilt of feeling so anxious as I know people would love to be in this position Fiance is extremely over the moon and supportive but it doesnt take away my anxieties. Wishing I could speak to my mum but I worry she will be disappointed due to falling pregnant before our marrage. Sorry for long post Reading lots of stories on here has helped me feel at ease so thank you to everyone for sharing

Congratulations. My husband is also in the military and is due to leave In July though had already stated he isn’t leaving unless he has a job lined up. If your mr is leaving, what did he intend to do once he left? Surely he can just do that still?

Work must support you whether they like it or not. It is a legal requirement and because you are pregnant you have a degree of protection from shitty work actions.

I would speak to your mum. You are clearly committed to each other and you may find her more understanding than you expect.

In relation to your anxiety you need to remember that you appear to be in a good place. Work is going good for you, your mr will be spending more time at home. Your anxiety will always be present because I think it’s the nature of pregnancy and if you suffered before it will be heightened. I think you have to try and remember all the positives about your situation.