Boyfriend left me 19wks pregnant

[Sam's Mum]

I'm so sorry I can't believe he would do that after deciding to have a baby with you - you are so much better off without him, and I bet it's not long before he realises what he's lost and what a massive mistake he's made, especially with how good you've been giving him space when he couldn't even have the decency to be honest with you x

 

[TaffyRose]

Like the other girls say I think you really are better off without him. Just concentrate on you and your boys now hun, they will get you through this.

Sending lots of hugs xxx

 

[NinjaKitty]

What a selfish nobber! So sorry he's put you in this position. You are deffo better off without him in the long run. At least you can get organised before baby arrives. Believe it or not I think it's better that it happened before baby arrived. That way you don't have the heartbreak and uncertainty whilst having a newborn too. I wish you the very best. Feel free to come on for a rant anytime.

 

[FUNMUM]

I know you're all totally right! Get Mad not Sad...I like that one lol. I know if I could stay strong he'd come running back, but guess what... I cant lol. He is still texting me everyday saying he promises to sort the mess out that he has made but I know he wont. You're right he will realise he has made the biggest mistake of his life and then it will be too late. Im going back up this week to start packing and for the scan. He really wants to come with me to the scan and Ive said yes but I know Ive got to stay mad and be strong when I'm around him. If I could just start packing the house up it would take my mind of it for days and then I'd be stronger but it's a 500 mile drive just to get back to my house!! xxxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

What a complete and utter f&@£*#g dickhead!!!!
Seriously - you DO NOT deserve this treatment and really really should stay strong! Have just read your update to my OH and he is disgusted that such men exist! He aggrees with me that you should be so mad at his pathetic and immature behaviour. Is there no way you could have your mum or sister come to the scan with you (either instead of, or If he must be there, as well as!) you need as much support as is physically possible at the moment! Man, if I lived near you, I'd bloody we'll come and tell him what a twat he is!

My first daughter (4 now!) has a bit of a twat for a father too! The best thing I did while I was pregnant with her was not to get involved with him again. At times it was so difficult as I really believed it would be best to stay a 'proper' family! Now looking back I realise that had I have got back with him just because he was the father of my unborn child, she wouldn't have had the happy life she has had!

He (or rather his Mother, a he doesn't possess his own brain!) insisted on coming to scans and being there at the birth. I couldnt cope with how my hormones always craved to cuddle him and have the 'normal' emotions that a mummy is supposed to have, so having my mum come to scans and becomming my official birthing partner made me man up to the fact that he was a cock! It was great! I never got smoochy! (although it was quite good during birth when I could grab him knowing I was hurting him- that felt great after all of the hurt he he had caused me!)

Stay strong honey! When you wanna cry, moan, rant, swear etc etc come and chat to us! Make sure you take care of yourself!!!!!! You deserve so much better! Xxxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

By the way, on top of all of the above- what sort of a woman would get involved with someone who has just impregnated his OH. It's bizarre!!! It won't last, and then he's gonna be alone! You'll be ok! You've got your little family still! You will be fine! Xxx

 

[Bee7]

So sorry to hear that this has happened hun, you don't deserve it at all. Pregnancy is a difficult time and you need comfort, support and stability from your partner. It seems like this sorry excuse for a man hasn't offered any of these. But as the other girls have said, you don't need someone like that in you or your childrens lives.

Remember, what goes around comes around and i'll bet that with the support of your family you'll manage fine. Whereas he's going to be in a relationship where his new gf is going to constantly have doubts. If he was capable of planning all this while he was with you then he can just as easily do it to her. Also, hes still going to have to be involved with you for the sake of the baby that he so selfishly wanted you to have. That won't be easy for her to digest either. I predict trouble ahead.

Stay strong and with the help of your family you'll get through this. You deserve better and i'm sure you'll find someone worthy of you again. For now just focus on yourself and your kids. Best of luck hun xxxx

 

[star fish]

I still think he's running scared! He's a tosspot for running straight into the arms of someone else, and she must be a super cow, but I still seriously think this is a fear reaction and he will come crawling back. From what you have said you have other kids to consider as well as the new baby and I personally recommend thinking about trying to work it out in time. He's made a huge mistake, but I think it is actually quite common for men to freak out and need to get away when the reality of pregnancy kicks in. Its just a knee jerk reaction and not necessarily a real end of relationship. But thats just my thought, and I would still make him suffer for ages before taking him back!!!

Do NOT get all needy and emotional when you see him! Be distant and cold and tell him that from here onwards your mum will be going to scans etc with you. After seeing the baby on a scan he will not want to miss the next one!

 

[FUNMUM]

You're all amazing and so so right and really helping me stay strong! We had an amazing relationship everyone used to say how in love we were and the stupid twat threw it anyway??!! He is gona get a big shock when I actually pack up the house and leave! His done me a favour because I hated living up there away from my family anyway. He keeps texting me and phoning me like nothing has happened, I know that's just his way of easing the pain...but it's bloody anoying!!! xxxx

 

[BabyBrain]

Tell him the only contact you will have is about the baby. Keep ringing and texting you is just being annoying as far as I am concerned and is a desperate effort to relieve his battered conscience. He deserves the guilt and whatever else crummy feelings he's having. And as for her well, wait til i'm having a hormonal day and I'll come up and slap her for you xxxxxxxxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

Absolutely right Bb!
I think that FUNMUM you would be staggered by how many of us would be there to do something nasty to the pair of them!
xxx
Stay strong honey! xxxx

 

[Berryripe]

such a shame honey, try to be positive though at this time it might seem nearly impossible. the most important thing is making sure you, your kids and the little blessing you carrying are all healthy. its his loss, not yours, time they say heals all wounds. to echo what is being said, i also think he will come crawling back, its up to you to decide if you want to forgive and work it out or forget about him, men can be so silly at times! no matter wat happens we love you very much and will support you either way.

P.S.: i'm all for the ninja attack on that little b*tch, count me in!!!

 

[NinjaKitty]

You're all amazing and so so right and really helping me stay strong! We had an amazing relationship everyone used to say how in love we were and the stupid twat threw it anyway??!! He is gona get a big shock when I actually pack up the house and leave! His done me a favour because I hated living up there away from my family anyway. He keeps texting me and phoning me like nothing has happened, I know that's just his way of easing the pain...but it's bloody anoying!!! xxxx

Cheeky sod trying to appease his guilt. Lay down some rules. He's got to know its not ok. Get it all layed out what you expect from him, i.e. financial support, what sort of access and information you'll provide about bubs. Make sure you know what he wants and expects and then tell him what is realistic. He's had all his way so far so you need to be clear with him how it's gonna bo from now on. I don't mean you should use the baby as a stick to beat him with but you do need to be clear about a set of acceptable rules for the sake of bubs and the sake of your emotional sanity.

 

[star fish]

LOL! I live at the other end of the country or I would be tempted to go round and give him a piece of my mind as well! Ha ha, scary pregnant women everywhere!

Would you like me to FedEx him some dog poo?

 

[BabyBrain]

LOL! I live at the other end of the country or I would be tempted to go round and give him a piece of my mind as well! Ha ha, scary pregnant women everywhere!

Would you like me to FedEx him some dog poo?

Hahahahahaha after a curry xxxxxxxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

How are you doing today FUNMUM? Xxx

 

[BellaRiven]

LOL! I live at the other end of the country or I would be tempted to go round and give him a piece of my mind as well! Ha ha, scary pregnant women everywhere!

Would you like me to FedEx him some dog poo?

Hahahahahaha after a curry xxxxxxxx

I can provide the poo I have 2 dogs , what a complete and utter W****R, I would stick by your guns and stay strong.

You might want to think about changing your number too if he is bothering you and your getting peeved at it, right now you don;t need the extra stress, I mean moving and having a baby is stressful enough with out knobjockies like him bothering you.

grrrrrrr, I just wanna beat him up

 

[MummyTo5]

Hi Hun,

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you I have a Ahole ex too!! I was with him 6 years and had 3 children with him when my daughter was only 4 weeks old he left me! Within 2 weeks he was with someone else he then proceeded to get that girl pregnant with twins that she aborted then got her pregnant again which again she aborted and in the mean time was a bitch to me he stopped seeing my kids and shit loads of other crap then they finally split up so he started seeing the kids again then he got with another bird which yep you guessed it he recently got pregnant and yep see aborted it!!! Heis a prick!!! And now yet again he doesn't see the kids it's been 4 monts and as far as I'm conserned he's dead to me and my kids!!!! Onwards and upwards my hubby is the most amazing man and treats my kids like they are his own and now we are having our own little baba to add to our little family oh and he has managed to get out of csa!!!!! Low life scum £93 a week that *******s avoiding...... Sorry to rant I just wanted to say your not alone there are others out here you can talk to who have been there huni hope your ok xxx

 

[Franna75]

Big hug to all Mum's out there who are being shat on from great heights by bell ends (that's my new word for them). I'm also having an ongoing battle. Not as bad as you guys but still, it's not nice that we have to do all the hard work and they get to continue sewing their wild oats! Good news for me is I got my first bit of cash today woohoo....i'll go out and spend it all on designer shoes...oh no I won't, i'll pay my mortgage, electric and stack of bills that have crept up on me whilst i've been trying to bring up a baby on my own....rant over.

Please don't have the prick back, he WILL come knocking on your door when it all goes pear shaped. But it will be when HE wants....arggghhh. Unbelievable what some men can do. Keep being strong x

 

[FUNMUM]

Thanks for alll the support guys Ive been and started packing up the house now and have decided that I am moving 500 miles away from him because I really need the support of my family. If he wants me then he'll have to come and get me. He said he knows he made a massive mistake and just really freaked out! You're not kidding lol. He phones everyday and had flowers delivered to me today. If he is prepared to make the move down here so I can stay close to my family that's when I'll know he is commited. I am only considering taking him back because before this massive freakout he had devoted his life to me and my 3 children and we had a very special relationship. I think the key is like you all say to just get on with my life and build a life for me, kids and bump if he fits into it great...if not then it was never meant to be xxxxxx