Pregnant but had a miscarriage back in May so very scared

[CARNAT22]

Hi all,

I just signed up as I have nowhere else to 'go' for the time being.

After a [prolonged] miscarriage back in May, my OH and I have decided that we wish to keep this news to ourself for the time being.

I had a postive result yesterday, period was 2 days late. I have to confess to feeling a bit 'neutral' at the moment.

A little background info ...

In early May I fell pregnant (just a month after coming off the pill) and we were delighted. We both have quite big families but told only our parents, siblings and a few friends. Within 5 days of finding out I began to bleed.

It took 3 weeks for the actual miscarriage to happen. This involved 3 trips to EPU, 6 internal scans and lots of waiting for the inevitable. It was a horrible, grim time. The silver lining was that it was a complete miscarriage (no need for any further medical intervention after actual m/c on 29/30th May).

OH and I were very philisophical about it all - we know that m/c's are very common and are the bodies way of dealing with a non viable pregnancy . We both agreed that it was better to Miscarry at 7 weeks than for the pregnancy to progress only for it to not work out at a later date etc...

All in all I bled for about 10 weeks (3 weeks before and almost 2 months afterwards - albeit pretty light bleeding for the most part). M/c itself was pretty painful but the waiting (and having to get on with daily life) was horrendous - I know for 20 days that I was going to Miscarry but it took so long to happen?

Fast forward to yesterday - I am 4 weeks pregnant and terrified.

We will have an early scan in 3 weeks time to make sure fetus is where it should be and viable etc. However 3 weeks seems like an eternity to wait.

I just feel so helpless at the moment. I don't want to be excited in case pregnancy doesn't progress but I feel guilty for not feeling happier.

I want to be positive, I want to be calm, I want to be stress free but I alternate between being neutral and just plain anxious about it all ...

I was on holiday last week and drank a few glasses of wine every night, plus I had to take several ibuprofen as I had a tooth ache for a few days.. I am now terrified I have caused some damage?

S-I-L has a M/C ealry last year and now has a little 4 month old baby boy so I know secod pregnancies can be fine.

Sorry for the rant - even if no-one replies it helps to write it down.

xxxx

 

[kedi376]

Hi there and welcome, Sorry to hear about your miscarriage and congratulations on your new pregnancy.

You're not alone, I know exactly how you feel, I miscarried at 6 weeks beginning of June and I found out last week I'm pregnant again. I'm just over 5 weeks now.

Hang in there, stay positive and hopefully this time your bean will stick. There are plenty of people who you can talk to around here whenever you're feeling scared.

I wouldn't worry too much about the drinks and the ibuprofen, it'll be fine.

 

[TORino]

Welcome to Tri1!

There are a few of us on here who have had MC including myself. I had one in April so I understand how you are feeling. My advice is to take each day as it comes. I have tried to protect myself from becoming too attached just yet by ignoring it as much as possible. I haven't told anyone yet and probably won't for another few weeks at least.

If you are going to have an early scan I would wait as long as possible. Some girls have had a scan and havent seen what they were expecting and been told to come back 2 weeks later, I'm sure you'll know just how awful the waiting is. I wouldn't expect to get this as a matter of course on the NHS either, I know some girls have but my doctor/midwife categorically refused me an early scan. They only do it here if you have bleeding/cramps.

Don't worry too much about what you did before you found out. That sort of stuff can consume you. The chances of you doing some damage will be negligable

Wishing you a happy/healthy pregnancy!

 

[roxane 1985]

i had a mc in sep and although ive already one child this entire pregnancy ive been a nervous reck,

take it easy dont stress as this doesnt help and if your ever worried no matter how silly it seems just go ahead and call ur midwife if it helps put ur mind at ease ok xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Thank you all,

I have a very loving, supportive network of friends and family but I don't want to tell any of them just yet.

It is still brand new news so we are still absorbing it.

I am back on the folic acid and planning to take it easy and chill out - as much as I possbly can.

I eat pretty healthily anyway (I love fruit, veggies and salad) and will obviously be off the booze now.

The only real upside to my M/C back in May is that after 15 years I finally gave up smoking... (I gave up the day before I started bleeding and 4.5 months later I will never go back!)

When I had M/C they said they would scan me at 7 weeks. So that will be W/c 10th Oct.

xxxx

 

[minxies]

hey hun i had a mc in march and im not only 6 weeks so am terrified we can do this together just stay positive each pregnancy has its own chances x

[/url]Make a pregnancy tickerhttp://www.pregnology.com/pregnancy/05/12/2012

 

[BabyBrain]

Congratulations hun and please try not to worry too much. Do whatever you can to keep stress at bay xxxxxxxxxx

 

[leannesxb]

Hi hun. Welcome to tri1. I had my mc is may too so I know what you are going through. Try not to worry cos its not good for you or baby. I have had three bouts of bleeding this pregnancy and I swear this babe is gonna be the death of me he has caused so much worry. I think all of us who have had mc's will tell you we all feel nervous, scared and paranoid but we are all here together and fate will do what it will. Nothing we do will make that much difference. xxx

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your MC and how you are feeling. I had a MC in May of last year. For the rest of the year I convinced myself I would be one of those women who can't have children and my head was full of negative thoughts. I became really depressed after it happened.
When I fell pregnant again in december, neither me or my OH were excited, we were just scared. I had a reassurance scan at 9 weeks which showed my baby bobbing around and with a heartbeat, which lifted our spirits, but we still didn't feel properly excited until after the 20 week scan that showed we were having a girl.
The whole of my pregnancy I was a nervous wreck, and I don't think anything or anybody can make that feeling go away, but healthy pregnancies DO happen following a mc. I have the most beautiful little girl in the world now to show for it xx

 

[charlie26]

Hi hun, i also had a mc in may. Look now im almost 12 weeks gone, got my scan next tue. To be honest i didnt think id make it this far. Each and everyday is a worry for all of us. As horrible as it sounds, what will be, will be. I dont think i will settle down till i have my 12 week scan. Good luck and the site is great for support xxx