Post natal depression

[H16]

Hi ladies,

I haven't been on here since giving birth so apologies but just wondering if anyone had experience of PND?

My little boy is 4.5 weeks old now and I have spent most days in the last 3 weeks crying and feeling like I can't cope with my 2 children or even life in general, I have had a few episodes of suicidal thoughts etc and just feel really isolated. I have spoken to my mum about is as she had PND after having me and she is very understanding and said I should see a GP etc but I am really scared that social services will get involved if I tell them how bad I am feeling. Don't get me wrong I can have moments of feeling ok and pushing my feelings down so I can act normal but by the end of every day I find myself feeling extremely depressed and like I just want it all to stop. I am having episodes of extreme anxiety about leaving the house someways, we have run out of milk tonight and all evening I have sat her feeling really anxious about having to take the kids out tomorrow and get some more, I feel so ridiculous. I have suffered with post traumatic stress, depression and anxiety in the past but this feels so extreme this time I am actually worried what will happen when I open up about it

I don't even know what I am trying to ask really I guess I just need to get my feelings out as I am finding it really hard to talk to my OH or friends about it

 

[tinselcat]

Hi hun

Please don't suffer alone without help, PND is quite a common condition that people are more aware of now and your GP can give you help without going anywhere near social services. I was struggling with things for a while but my HV reassured me that if I had PND, noone was going to take the baby away.

Is your OH able to give you any extra support? Perhaps he could get the milk or do some tasks here and there just to help ease the burden on you? Or maybe your mum could come and stay for a week or something to help you out?

Tiny babies are very difficult to look after and I've heard that 2 little children can really take its toll, even on the most hardy of individuals.

xx

 

[StanLove26]

Hi H16. Please don't try and bottle up your feelings and do do do share them with anyone and everyone - including your GP. Please don't be afraid of being judged. You will be listened to. You have been through a monumental shift in the way your life operates and you are having to make huge physical and mental readjustments. It sounds like you have supportive family. Please be confident that things can and will get better. Sending you lots of love. Xxxxx

 

[littlemonkey]

Please don't struggle on in silence on your own, speak to your GP and/or HV who will be able to help you.

I had PND after my first baby and the first few months after having him were very dark days. I was similar to you and had such anxiety about leaving the house. My eldest cried lots and I was always terrified he would cry when I was out and I wouldn't be able to stop him.

I eventually went to the GP at about 9 weeks I think who prescribed me anti depressents. There wasn't much offered in terms of counselling etc, in the end I arranged private counselling through work which was really helpful. The HV was really good at suggesting classes and groups to meet some new mums which was helpful because talking to them I realised so much of what I was feeling was actually pretty common. I also did a parenting skills type group which helped with my confidence.

Social services were never involved with us at any point. Every one is happy to offer help and support and do what they can to make sure you and your family are well and safe.

Do also be kind to yourself. Having two young children is very, very hard! I had a mantra I kept telling myself after my youngest was born 'it won't be this hard forever'. I also love that Jess Glyn song don't be so hard on yourself. I always put it on and have a sing and dance along if I'mhhaving a bad day!

 

[flisstebbs]

Please don't think anyone would judge you. I'm nearly 4 weeks into it with 2 under 2 and just had my first morning alone with them. Arg! The amount of crying that went on! Finally got Jess up to nursery but realised halfway up she was clutching an enormous garden wicker duck and we hadn't any of us brushed our teeth .

Especially if you have had problems in the past you are at a very vulnerable time, and certainly it is no sign of weakness to ask for help, in fact I think it is very brave to face up to this stuff. My hubby has depression and he's found it easier to spot early as he's got older now, and its also easier to treat before you are at rock bottom. There's loads of stuff that helps, and it probably wouldn't be a bad thing to go and get it all out.

 

[northerngirl]

First of all, you're doing really well, well done you. Secondly, it's very rare that social services get involved, and even IF they do, it's not always a bad scary thing. I've been involved with social services since Felix has been born as my mental health is very poor and they got involved following a suicide attempt and once I was off the psychiatric ward. But even then they visited me once, saw that Felix was happy and healthy and never came back.
Social services will only ever be a problem if a child is at immediate risk. Just hope that puts your mind at rest a bit and enables you to ask for the help you need, you'd be surprised at how many services there are available for women with PND xo

 

[H16]

Thanks ladies, I have finally told OH how bad it is and he is coming to the dr with me this week to get some help x

 

[queenriccy]

No experience of this but just wanted to send you lots of hugs xx

 

[Ella1979]

I've no experience of PND either, but so pleased you're seeing your GP - it's so important to get help. Having 2 young children is stressful enough without other things going on. I'm going to counselling tomorrow as I'm not coping with my dad's recurrent cancer diagnosis very well and still having to look after my two kids and find time to get into the hospital to visit him. I've found my GP invaluable and hoping the counselling will help too. Lots of hugs xx