Post birth thread... [May upset some]

[Squiglet]

I didnt see any problems with you post Debbie... Technically all labours that produce beautiful healthy babies are positive experiences if you break it down... Thats how I came to terms with things

 

[joj]

I thought it was for positive and negative experiences It's nice to read the good ones, especially if you've not had a great experience yourself.

 

[maldives]

Generally birth was fine,
ok what I really didn't like.

1- I was induced so i didn't get sleep at all the night before
2- I didn't like the waiting after inserting the first gel. as nothing has started until the second dose was inserted.
3- I planned to have an epidural (not a fan of pain) but i thought i won't ask for it until the pain start. the pain started earlier than i expected as my waters broke. so it took a while for them to insert the epidural as I was in pain. once inserted i was FINE!
4- I hated the monitoring belt that i wore to monitor LO HR. as his HR was fluctuating all the time so it made me worry!
5- Pushing stage needed alot of energy which i didn't have so it was a bit tough but not bad at all!!
6- I hated the fact I was a bit cruel on my DH as while giving birth he was standing next to me, holding my hands, wiping my face, he tried to kiss me but i turned my head away as i was gasping for air LOOL.

That's it! and as I was induced I had the worse! natural labour as I know is much more easier so I have learnt my lesson now LOL (induction was my decision!)

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I like reading both types of birth experiences because negative ones remind you that you're not alone and that other people had a rough time too (whilst I don't wish anyone a hard time it makes you feel less singled out!)
And positive ones make me think 'hopefully it will be like that next time'

I would like to say that I would do it a million times and more over again for my little girl and so it was thoroughly worth it.

 

[LaineyG]

I'll add mine, which is quite different, but some expectant mum's might be in the same boat!

I have severe asthma, and I was monitored closely during my pregnancy. I was doing great and plodding along quite happily to a natural birth.

Then the heartburn and reflux started. Severe heartburn can make asthma worse as the acid can inflame the windpipe. I didn't know any of this and one day I was working at my local hospital when my asthma specialist passed by and asked how I was. I told him I wasn't too great, and that I thought my asthma might be taking a turn for the worse.

He took me round to his clinic and went through everything, when he discovered I had heartburn he prescribed lansaprazole to keep it under control. He said he'd call my OB in time for my next visit.

So a week passes and I go to see my OB. I was 38+3. I walk in with my mum, sit down and she says "So, Tuesday ok for this baby to be born?" I was like WTF?!?!

Turns out when I walked in I was so out of breath (I didn't realise this as it had slowly been getting like that) that she decided on the spot that I needed to have this baby.

They couldn't induce me, as I have severe allergies, and prostaglandin is apparently very reactive and can cause reactions in people who have never had an allergy in the past.

So, elective c-section it was!

On the tuesday morning my mum, dad and I got up at 6, left the house at 7, got to the hospital at 7:30. I got into a gown, and walked my bed up to the recovery room. After 10 mins the anesthetist came in and went over everything. Another 10 mins later and the OB came in and went over everything.

Another 10 mins after that, a mad man in a rugby shirt and jeans came running in and asked for my placenta!!!

Turns out he was a student doctor and was looking for placentas to research premature births on!

So I signed his form!

Then I was walked into theatre, given my spinal block, got catheterised (after the spinal, so I didn't feel a thing!) and laid on the table. My mum came in and sat beside me.

The anesthetist then put the rolling stones on the speakers and at 9.31 my beautiful baby girl was born into the world!!

It was all lovely and relaxed and everybody was so nice. My aftercare was excellent and I was home within 48 hours!

 

[Daffodil]

I was shocked at how painful it was. I know that sounds naive but somehow I'd managed to tell myself that if I relaxed enough then it would be manageable and not that bad.

I still managed on just gas and air though and overall the experience was a good one because I had no interventions or complications, so I was very lucky in that respect.

After the birth I was shocked at how sore I was. Right now I still have *some* soreness down there and she is a month old. And that is without any stitches!

The whole parenting thing has been SO challenging. I think I imagined that I would have a newborn and just be fine - but its been probably the hardest month of my life. Don't get me wrong I love her and I'm really happy to be a mum, but I am shocked at how very difficult its been too.

I think a good support network around you is of paramount importance.

Dawn
x

 

[zebrastripes]

My birth "experience" was dreadful

I was pretty much treated like crap beforehand, they knew I'd probably need a section, but sidelined me again and again to make way for (I'm sorry, this isn't meant to be a poke at anyone, it was the attitude of certain people in the hospital) older,married women. The whole way through, it was like I "wasn't allowed" to be having a baby, that I was less important because I was young and baby wasn't planned...this wasn't me being paranoid by the way, i had confirmation afterwards that this was indeed the attitude held by particular people who were meant to be taking care of me..

I went in for my section at 8am. They delayed me 4 times, because they mucked up my bloods,notes, then 2 emergency sections. Fair enough, nothing anyone can do about that, but they didn't even bother to tell me-they left me in an empty bay for about 8 hours, bearing in mind I'd been fasting from 12 the previous night and wasn't even allowed a drink,in a hot August hospital with no air conditioning. We had to constantly chase up nurses etc to find out wtf was actually happening

When i got into theatre, the anaethetist was lovely,thank goodness, and put me at my ease.
However the paediatrician was a tanker, as was the juinior doctor who'd only arrived at the hospital 2 days before and had never preformed a section...my mum, being a nurse, had delibratly asked that I get a more experienced surgeon if possible, on account of my age etc

They didn't say a word to me the entire time. Not even "How are you feeling".They talked about some doctor they knew from Strabane, and what an idiot he was. The anaethatist actually apologised for their ignorant behaviour afterwards. They wouldn't even tell me if I'd had a girl or boy. mum was crying too much to say.

Recovery lady was fantastic..complete angel....got me sorted with BF and eveything...

the remainder of my stay in hospital was crap though. I won't go into detail but basically one particular midwife really,really had it in for me, basically told me I was indecent for feeding my child, that I was a silly little girl etc. She made me feel like a whore, basically.

Anyway...what do you expect living in a narrow minded place such as this...

 

[Squiglet]

My birth "experience" was dreadful

I was pretty much treated like crap beforehand, they knew I'd probably need a section, but sidelined me again and again to make way for (I'm sorry, this isn't meant to be a poke at anyone, it was the attitude of certain people in the hospital) older,married women. The whole way through, it was like I "wasn't allowed" to be having a baby, that I was less important because I was young and baby wasn't planned...this wasn't me being paranoid by the way, i had confirmation afterwards that this was indeed the attitude held by particular people who were meant to be taking care of me..

I went in for my section at 8am. They delayed me 4 times, because they mucked up my bloods,notes, then 2 emergency sections. Fair enough, nothing anyone can do about that, but they didn't even bother to tell me-they left me in an empty bay for about 8 hours, bearing in mind I'd been fasting from 12 the previous night and wasn't even allowed a drink,in a hot August hospital with no air conditioning. We had to constantly chase up nurses etc to find out wtf was actually happening

When i got into theatre, the anaethetist was lovely,thank goodness, and put me at my ease.
However the paediatrician was a tanker, as was the juinior doctor who'd only arrived at the hospital 2 days before and had never preformed a section...my mum, being a nurse, had delibratly asked that I get a more experienced surgeon if possible, on account of my age etc

They didn't say a word to me the entire time. Not even "How are you feeling".They talked about some doctor they knew from Strabane, and what an idiot he was. The anaethatist actually apologised for their ignorant behaviour afterwards. They wouldn't even tell me if I'd had a girl or boy. mum was crying too much to say.

Recovery lady was fantastic..complete angel....got me sorted with BF and eveything...

the remainder of my stay in hospital was crap though. I won't go into detail but basically one particular midwife really,really had it in for me, basically told me I was indecent for feeding my child, that I was a silly little girl etc. She made me feel like a whore, basically.

Anyway...what do you expect living in a narrow minded place such as this...

Aw ZS... thats awful.. but I know its true because I was made to feel the same way when I was having Tia and I wasn't even in my teens, I was 20 years old, so can only imagine it was worse for you...

No one should be treat like that regardless of their age for having a child.. Its a scary experience enough for anyone.

 

[happy-chick]

I had an awful birth experience but i think i've put it behind me as best I could, I'm still waiting for couselling about it and she's 8 months old... how terrible is that

I had a long labour (50hrs from 1st contraction at 2-3mins apart) and then complications when Ellie was born, she had cord around her neck and was very distressed, she wasnt breathing when she was put on my chest. I lost alot of blood and was close to needing a transfusion... The support in the hospital was terrible, all in all it wasnt a nice experience! I had flashbacks, panic attacks & anxiety after the birth & was diagnosed with mild PTSD.

I've made a complaint against the hospital and I'm awaiting response at the moment. I'm still not over what happened but i've made the decision to move on and just put it behind me, I feel like the whole 'birth experience' was taken away from me because I was induced but that was out of everyone but natures hands. I hope next time I will have a better experience but only time will tell

 

[DebbieM]

All sorted. It was a mis-understanding earlier. I flew off the handle a bit after a long and hard day so I apologise. x

 

[beanie]

I won't lie part of me was sooooo naive and had this fixation of the "Perfect birth" I wanted to be at home asleep or doing something and my waters would break and then OH would come in we'd rush to the hospital, ok there was pain but then I'd push this beatiful baby out have it laid on me and then we would be a happy family!

this sums up my first birth experience. I was going to have a lovely birth at my local midwife led unit, in a pool with aromoatherapy. The reality was very different. 13 days overdue, I had 2 days of very painful slow labour and was just exausted through ot sleeping those days so ended up begging to go to hospital and having lots of drugs. I had to have an epidural as I was so tired. Seren's heartbeat kept dipping and not coming up so I to have the clip attached to her head etc. No-one told me that she was back to back and that was the reason I wasn't dilating. A c section was mentioned to OH and I just felt so out of control. I felt that my body was a failure as it wouldn't do what it was meant to, then I had the issues with breastfeeding etc. I just felt like a big fat failure and my PND got alot worse as a result. My best mate had her baby at the midwife unit I had wanted to go in and I remember crying on the way home as I was so jealous she had done it.

The second birth was completely different. I was aware that I may have to go into hospital if things weren't going as they should and I was at peace with that. I didn't write a birth plan, but told my birthing partners that I wated to find out the gender myself, that I would go to hospital if necessary but the midwife had to explain things to me and let me make the decision (I felt very bullied in hospital). As it was despite Cally being back to back I got my home birth and did it without any pain relief apart from water being poured over my back and bump. Weirdly wnough my positve second experience has let me come to terms with the first time and I can now look back on it with happiness

 

[jodie_honey]

mine was amazing and terrifying.
i had to be induced which i was rly scared of, walkin into the hospital that mornin i felt i was walkin to my death (honestly)
anyway i had one pessary and thats all i needed and i had a nice midwife who told me i was doin well and progressin nicecly and she sed my oh could stay coz i would be goin up to delivery soon to have my waters broken.
THEN......
nasty midwife came on sed i wasnt in labour and send my oh home. she wouldnt give me any pain relief only paracetamol anyway then she left me i felt scared in in terrible pain. 5 mins later my waters broke so i buzzed her she came and chekd n i was 7cm! then she made me walk up 3 flights of stairs carryin 3 bags of my stuff with no help and passed me the gass n air n walked out, she didnt tell me how to use it or anything so i was violently sick.
then it got better as i got a nice midwife all thru the night and my oh with me i was coping it wasnt too bad, i was enjoying it lol.
i pushed for an hour but abigail kept gettin stuck and slippin back ins he became distressed so next thing there were 4 docs in the room (ridiculous) they gave me an epesiotomy and tried ventouse which failed so in the end she came out 26 hours later with forceps then i needed 83 stitches, hemeroged! they made me walk to the loo after i had an epidural!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
honestly!!!! and abigail wasnt breathing it wasnt nice
BUT.......
it was the most amazin experience ever and i would love to relive that 26 hours all over again it was the best experience of my life. and i would DEFINATLEY do it again even after all that! xx

 

[purplebluered]

Good thread Sharne, reading through all of the responses makes me realise just how different each labours are and how it's just so difficult to prepare for it, even if you've already had children.

I went in to complain on Monday about the lack of care and particularly about one midwife...don't want to go into it here as it was complicated and long, but can get an idea of it by reading my birth story here it's not the full story but you get the idea... viewtopic.php?f=60&t=89207

It was a very productive meeting with head of midwifery...it took nearly 2 hours to go through everything, and Isaac got really grumpy in the end cos it was such a hot room and I had to feed him to keep him quiet Afterwards I left feeling like a load had been lifted off my shoulders, I didn't realise just how much I was bothered by the fact I ended up with a section and by the things my midwife said to me. I kept on blaming myself for the things I did or "didn't do" according to my midwife (head of midwifery said that my midwife shouldn't have said the things she said to me) and actually there was nothing I could have done to prevent the section.

The last 6 weeks I felt like I could have prevented the section, etc but now I know for sure a section was the only possible way of getting baby out, I feel much better. They apologised for the lack of care in my case and are taking steps to change things for the future. I feel much more positive now. I don't know what it's like for other women, but I'm certain that a debriefing session would be useful. Although I only went in to complain, she ended up going through my notes and answering my questions about my labour and it really really really helped lots.

I still get jealous when I hear about really positive birth stories but then I just thnk mine was positive...I look back and think WOW I was able to tolerate such pain as I had to wait 4 hours for my epidural and it was a back to back labour! ...and Isaac came out healthy and happy. I do feel like I've turned a corner here. Already starting to think about ttc again... DH doesn't want one just yet!!!

to everyone

 

[Neev]

I have yet to write my birth story and havent had any time to sit and write it all up but I guess this is a mini birth story..

I had an amazing experience, everything went smoothly which was not what I had expected at all. Hearing from friends and relatives this was going to be the most painful journey ever and then when you hold your little one all the pain disappears.

I had a show that was nice and pre-warning style kinda experience, then a few hours later my waters broke as I went to the toilet for a wee...because it gushed down I knew this wasnt wee and that waters had definately broken...It literally felt like a bucket load had just come out.

Jumped in the shower because expected pain and so water was meant to be the pain reliever ... no pain but contractions were every 5 mins. Remember standing in the shower and asking hubby, if this is pain then I am going to be allright. Changed, DH changed, put some make up on and had a cup of tea lol..then felt like contractions were coming sooner, rang the hospital and they called me in.
Got there about 2.30 and was shown to "my room". Was expecting to be sent back because I was not feeling anything, was told I was 3 cm dilated and therefore I would be staying. DH brought all my things up and we were ready for Pain and excitement. MY BP was quite high so had a heart monitor strapped on which put us on high risk and MW stayed with us throughout. I felt calm but DH was panicking..

We joked about and thats when the contractions got a bit strong, gas and air was a flighty feeling, had epidural about 6am because LO's heartbeat was irregular and so they had me on standby for a possible c-section. I was open to this as long as LO was looked after wekk. When they gave me epidural DH had a dizzy spell and had to sit down..but again I felt nothing because the anaesthesist had the area numb. After the epidural I slept for 2.5 hours and at 9am was woken up by the MW and two consultants who were in the room telling me we are now going to push..I thought ok, this has gone quick. I was 10 cm dilated and Lo's heartbeat had dropped.

They said Push, Push Push..."out came the head", DH saw the head and was so scard but excited, I was asking is he there and excited, again thanks to epidural no pain. after the 3rd push they placed Aaron on my tummy and I am still saying - Was that it?

He also arrived on his due date

So thank god all was well and the only thing that bugged me later was the stitches because I had an episiotomy when the heartbeat had dropped for LO. I am not complaining but thats the painful thing after birth which is on the mend now.

Very thankful to the entire medical team, hospital and this forum for all the help I experiecned throughout the 9 months of pregnancy and now...I feel I was prepared and it was a good experience overall despite my fears.

 

[debecca]

My labour was ace, but I am completely aware that I am lucky.

The whole thing was over in about 5 hours from waters breaking, and apart from her getting slightly stuck it was fast and easy water birth. She was completely healthy and there were no complications and I only had one midwife in the room who was calm and funny. But that was partly because I had CHOSEN to go to the midwife-led unit to get that kind of experience knowing how much I hate hospitals.

Of course after the birth everything went wrong and I nearly died but that's another story

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

At the time I didn't find my labour or the birth traumatic but in the days after when I thought about it I found myself being upset. I was induced 13 days overdue, my waters were broken for me, I had a drip administered to make my contractions regular. I found it all very invasive. Because my contractions were being controlled via the drip they were strong and practically on top of one another. I had about 5 seconds between each one and I couldn't catch my breath. I found the pethidine did nothing and after 6 hours I was crying for an epidural. On the first attempt the tube kinked and it had to be refitted. I was able to relax after that, I even managed to get a little sleep.

When it came time to push I was pushing for over an hour. When I pushed she was moving but when I stopped her head went back in so I was prepped for a c-section but when I got into the theatre the doctor decided to try the forceps. Thankfully it worked and she was out after 2 pushes. They put her on my chest, she was purple, not crying and her eyes were glazed over. I thought she was dead. They took her to the corner and after 20 seconds she was crying.

The days after didn't help as I was in a ward with 2 drug addicts. Their babies were withdrawing from the drugs they had took during their pregnancies and the screams were awful. You could hear the babies were in pain. I have a lovely video of Aimee 2 days old and all you can hear in the background is a baby in pain, I can't even watch the video with the sound on. It is too upsetting. I am even getting upset just typing this.

 

[Babylicious]

Paris's birth was awful from start to finish I was in labour for 28 hours, the day before I had a false alarm went in to be told I wasn't in labour, started with pains at 5am the next morning and ended up going to the hospital at around 6pm I was only 3cms, had pethedine then an epidural, didn't dilate fast enough so ended up having the drip put it which sped the labour up as I got stuck at 5cms, to cut a long story short I had a reaction to the drugs my heart stopped 3 times, paris was born by ventouse not breathing, and i had loads of stitches. TBH I think this is reason why I didn't bond with her and we don't get on much now I was 18 and terrified.

With Harrison I wanted a water birth just using gas and air, but my waters went at 37 weeks and my labour didn't progress so I had the drip. Stuck to a bed! But the labour was fast (1 hour 31 minutes) and completely different to Paris's birth.

 

[claire2711]

I think it's nice to share experiences, be it good OR bad.

In my head I guess I thought it would be painless, due to the drugs and was hopefully gonna be quick. but nonono Riley had other ideas!

The contractions were not too bad, but once I was on the drip I was cying in agony....begging for a C-sec!!! Then being cut and the ventouse was such a horrible disgusting feeling and getting stitched too. The only way I can describe Riley being pulled out is like being gutted like a fish .

In the end it is SO worth it tho, i'd do it again in a heartbeat

 

[Quill]

I know there is a disclaimer in the title, but I just wanted to say that my story might upset some people.

From the first contraction until birth was just over 80 hours for me. It started Sat morning with a bloody show, then contractions all day (ranging from 10 minutes to 45 minutes apart, but long ones). I got about 2 hours of sleep that night. Then my waters broke at 4:30am and we called the hospital, who asked us to come in. But I was only 2cm dilated so they sent me home...

All day Sunday labored with contractions every 6-20 minutes apart. Slept 2 or 3 hours broken up that night. Couldn't eat much food.

Monday morning went to see midwife (was a regular scheduled appointment). She took my blood pressure and it was too high. So she sent me to the hospital, where they monitored me for 40 minutes. All this time I was having contractions and was exhausted. They told me to come back in a few hours so they could induce me (due to high BP and waters having been gone 24+ hours).

Monday evening went in, but they were full. Labored in the waiting room. By this time he was back-to-back and the lower back pain was excruciating. Finally they got me a room but they were swamped with people so they pushed the induction back until later. Gave me gas and air but DH and I didn't really know how to work it. I thought I had to take a few puffs only... and when it didn't work I just thought it was having no effect on me

We were in that room for over 12 hours with no relief. They had to put me on IV antibiotics due to waters having gone 48+ hours ago. By this time my back just felt like it was totally on fire at all times and I hadn't slept for days. DH was at his wits end and all around outside there were women screaming in agony as they gave birth. They were so full and so understaffed that we didn't even get checked on unless we asked for updates. There was even a woman in the hallway laboring in a wheelchair... They were that overrun.

So from 7pm to 9am it was really bad. I actually thought... in the Dark Ages, I would be one of those women who died because the baby wouldn't come out.

At 9am, or thereabouts (I was out of it, completely, by this point, I have never been so exhausted), they finally got a midwife to see me. I had gone from 2cm to 3cm during that whole time I finally broke down and asked for an epidural. Thank goodness it worked, it worked 100%, and they put me on a drip to induce contractions. By this time it had been ages since my waters had gone, and my blood pressure was sky high (180/100 or so I think) due to stress and PIH.

I dilated from 3cm to 10cm between 10am and 5pm and between the epidural and finally learning to use gas and air properly, I even got a bit of sleep. I just felt like a bump on a log lying there not feeling anything but pressure in my pelvic area.

Anyhow to make a long story short, they told me to try pushing. I started, and overheard a midwife saying something about forceps and thought hell no am I having those near my hoo-ha, and so I PUSHED and he came out in 40 minutes.

Got a 2nd degree tear from that But it healed up with regular short baths with tea tree and lavender oil.

I guess the worst part of it all is... I know 80 hours is a statistical outlier, that it's improbable, that it likely wouldn't happen again with a second child. But I just don't know. And I'm not sure I'd have the strength to go through it again. I was like a little old lady afterward. I needed so much help and it took so long to get back on my feet and have energy again. Only in the past few weeks have I felt "normal" again, able to exercise vigorously and go places again. I feel like I was pushed (partly by DH's family, partly by myself) to spring back immediately after the birth like nothing ever happened.

I have to say the health care afterward was really nice, I have had great midwives and HVs. I just had so many health problems (including a kidney infection) that I just look back on it all and think... how did I make it through? I have to say it even affected my ability to bond. For the first few days I was so tired and hurting that I felt like I was on autopilot and it was only after the first week that I really became attached emotionally. Sounds horrible, doesn't it? But it's true, and I never expected it to be that way... all the books and everything never mentioned it. When they dropped him on my chest all I could feel was relief that it was done, and relief that he was ok, and faint surprise that I was still alive.

I really love him 100% with all my heart. But it took a few days to get there. And I can't help wondering if it had been different, would the first week have been different? Easier perhaps? And also I am so grateful for modern medicine... if it had been another day and age, I would probably not be writing this.

 

[trixipaws]

The worst moment was when my mum said 'you're going to go to sleep and it won't hurt anymore' they were prepping me for a general and a section but i thought my mum was telling me I was going to die. It sounds ridiculous but I didn't know what was happening and I remember wanting so badly to meet my little girl before I died. God i'm welling up writing this. It probably doesn't sound much but I am haunted by that feeling when I thought i was going to die.

ohmygosh suzie, thats not ridiculous at all, thats exactly what i would have thought!